It's Over Anyone else with derealization (feeling like a phantom)

[Fontaine]

I took a long walk in the streets of a big city today. Besides the usual suifuel, I felt an emotion I have grown accustomed to, the impression that nothing is "really real", that I don't really exist, that people whom I interact with don't see me as a real living human being. It always comes as a honest surprise when somebody notices me or talks to me; most of the time I feel like an obstacle in the path of a car, a tramway or a pedestrian.

The reality around me always sounds muffled, and looks ethereal.

Sitting in the tramway, the person in front of me looks a weird isometric 2D rather than 3D, and feels like a NPC.

I feel disengaged from reality completely, in a way. I still understand its basic rules and tenets (eg. if you step in front of the tramway you'll die) but only on an abstract, intellectual level. I don't feel the danger with my guts; I do feel emotions (amusement, shame, remorse, etc) but even these emotions don't feel "really real" - it's like they are felt by somebody else inside my skull, and not me. I have completely lost emotional vibrancy.

And I am not depressed, by the way. Derealization is typically considered a feature of depression. However, I haven't been depressed for months following a successful treatment. I am more and more convinced that this is rather a symptom of loneliness and lack of human physical contact (hugs, kisses, hand holding, etc).

 

[Solitarian_Walker]

Loneliness is depression. Can't make it go away with jewpills or brain zapping.

 

[Fontaine]

Loneliness is depression. Can't make it go away with jewpills or brain zapping.

Nope, the two are honestly disconnected. I'm not depressed despite being lonely.

 

[rudolfhess]

Nope, the two are honestly disconnected. I'm not depressed despite being lonely.

cope

 

[Rotting since 09]

Loneliness is depression. Can't make it go away with jewpills or brain zapping.

The people who post the memes saying "keep ur circle small bro", "don't hate being lonely embrace it" "there's nothing wrong with being lonely it makes you strong" and all this shit are the people with the biggest social circles lol

I have never known a lonely person or an "alone" person who wasn't depressed either.

 

[Fontaine]

cope

I do feel sad and like I have a shitty life most of the time. But it's not depression. Depression is a lot worse than mere sadness, it's a biological synaptic disease. Depression is triggered by stress in predisposed people, not by sadness.

 

[Figthcel]

Yes actually.

At work, I felt like Iam not there. It was hard to act normally in front of people when you feel like it is a dream.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

I did have an episode of very intense derealization. I was perfectly sober at the time, but I had been binge drinking for months.

I remember even googling my symptoms, it felt unreal. Let me specify.

I've always had weird thoughts, but I'm aware of them. I'm always thinking of things from a "trippy" perspective. Like, if I look at a piece of bread, I might start thinking about how many people worked to produce it, all the advancements in technology that made it possible, or maybe even might get to thoughts that everything is made of atoms that existed since the big bang or whatever. Stupid shit, but it's just a normal day for me. Living in a simulation, etc... are thoughts I entertain but don't take seriously.

But during that episode, for some reason, it all just felt so unreal. It lasted like half an hour, but I never felt anything like it before, I can't even put it into words. I felt like a string of consciousness in an artificial world.

 

[Fontaine]

I'm always thinking of things from a "trippy" perspective. Like, if I look at a piece of bread, I might start thinking about how many people worked to produce it, all the advancements in technology that made it possible, or maybe even might get to thoughts that everything is made of atoms that existed since the big bang or whatever.

I do the same thing - for us reality is some kind of puzzle and plane of existence to understand instead of something obvious.

I also mutter to myself a lot.

 

[Juxtaposition6]

Happened to me once, it felt like my body was moving on its own and i felt like i was dreaming except it was much more lucid, a strange state of trance it was, or at least felt like it.
Surreal cognitive experience.

 

[Mainländer]

When outside my attention is always on the girls around and nothing else really registers.

When there are no girls I just think and think and all else is just background.

 

[Fontaine]

Nothing triggers my phantom syndrome more than being in a classroom listening to a teacher.

I know everything is real, but somehow I don't feel real, or in the right place - perhaps I died from suicide years ago (I got very close to it) and I'm currently in an alternative quantum reality, or some kind of Purgatory.

 

[FiveFourManlet]

Once a month or so, I feel out of my body.

I take no drugs at all, nothing.

My brain is fried from stress.

 

[Deleted member 4159]

"There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing."

 

[♥HonestlyEndMe♥]

I get something similar called dissociation from a lot of anxiety, it's just a few moments of feeling like nothing is real, and I'm like "wait this is real? I'm actually me? How's that possible?"

 

[jerrycan dan]

I get this a lot but I'm fucking retarded lmao, maybe you are too OP

 

[ShadowMonk]

Maybe you already roped an became an ghost.

 

[Deleted member 1042]

You think and conceptualize things too much. Most ppl do not do this.

 

[Konon]

I suffer from extreme solipsism. I think nobody exists but me. I deeply know this is probably not true, but I can't shake it off. I feel awful loneliness constantly and sometimes get the feeling that I'm not "in reality" so to speak. Like I'm in some kind of video game and I'm the main protagonist even though I'm a boring loser.

 

[superighteous]

I've always had weird thoughts, but I'm aware of them. I'm always thinking of things from a "trippy" perspective. Like, if I look at a piece of bread, I might start thinking about how many people worked to produce it, all the advancements in technology that made it possible, or maybe even might get to thoughts that everything is made of atoms that existed since the big bang or whatever. Stupid shit, but it's just a normal day for me. Living in a simulation, etc... are thoughts I entertain but don't take seriously.

Wow. I do the same thing.

 

[DoNotWant]

Normalfags believe life is real because they want it to be real. If you don't want it to be real, you have no reason to accept it as such.

The only thing we can know for sure: Cogito ergo sum.

 

[Deleted member 12355]

Loneliness is depression

Probably highly correlated, but I'm very lonely and I'm no where near as depressed as I am lonely

 

[Incellectual]

I get this all the time. I look at everything in a really detached way for large chunks of time. Its like being a ghost, I feel like I'm a spectator watching everything from afar.

 

[01userope]

God, I have had derealization/depersonalization ever since I was 12, due to a traumatic episode of my life and I have not been the same ever since.

 

[Anon313]

I took a long walk in the streets of a big city today. Besides the usual suifuel, I felt an emotion I have grown accustomed to, the impression that nothing is "really real", that I don't really exist, that people whom I interact with don't see me as a real living human being. It always comes as a honest surprise when somebody notices me or talks to me; most of the time I feel like an obstacle in the path of a car, a tramway or a pedestrian.

The reality around me always sounds muffled, and looks ethereal.

Sitting in the tramway, the person in front of me looks a weird isometric 2D rather than 3D, and feels like a NPC.

I feel disengaged from reality completely, in a way. I still understand its basic rules and tenets (eg. if you step in front of the tramway you'll die) but only on an abstract, intellectual level. I don't feel the danger with my guts; I do feel emotions (amusement, shame, remorse, etc) but even these emotions don't feel "really real" - it's like they are felt by somebody else inside my skull, and not me. I have completely lost emotional vibrancy.

And I am not depressed, by the way. Derealization is typically considered a feature of depression. However, I haven't been depressed for months following a successful treatment. I am more and more convinced that this is rather a symptom of loneliness and lack of human physical contact (hugs, kisses, hand holding, etc).

Same here friendo. While I was driving today it felt like all of my surroundings were completely fake. Sometimes it also feels like My mind disconnects from my body and I am no longer in control of my actions.

 

[Ritalincel]

No, man.

 

[Indari]

it happens when you have very little human contact and barely go outside

 

[Fontaine]

it happens when you have very little human contact and barely go outside

Probably the correct explanation

 

[Sadist]

Same, I ghost pretty much all my uni. Always in the back and skip sections if they aren't mandatory. So I have little to no human interaction when I'm not at my job.

 

[Deleted member 126]

You are onto something. Normalfags are NPCs.

 

[_incelinside]

I felt alot like this during my school years when I was younger. When I cross the street for example and get narrowly missed by a car I felt no sense of danger

 

[Sparrow's Song]

It feels like the Alien Pill. Aliens in a world of predators.

 

[Lord Byron]

I would say that degree of dissociation requires urgent medical attention.

 

[JovanD]

At some point i couldn't sense if i was in dream or reality, it was scary and when't on for far too long, it's the kind of fear when some one pulls a rug under your feet and you keep falling, but like you're falling for weeks. My short term memory wen't to absolute crap, probably contributed to the dream feel.

 

[Fontaine]

I would say that degree of dissociation requires urgent medical attention.

I have lived like this for 10 years and I'm fine. It's just what happens when you rarely interact with people and have 0 self-esteem. You don't feel completely human and part of society. Rather, everything feels like a constant expedition into the unknown, the strange and the dangerous.

 

[Lord Byron]

The reality around me always sounds muffled, and looks ethereal.

Sitting in the tramway, the person in front of me looks a weird isometric 2D rather than 3D, and feels like a NPC.

I feel disengaged from reality completely, in a way. I still understand its basic rules and tenets (eg. if you step in front of the tramway you'll die) but only on an abstract, intellectual level.

Visual and aural hallucinations, lack of fear or normal sense of self preservation. Dehumanisation of others. Perhaps you have overstated your experience. But I can tell you if you ever spoke those words to a competent shrink, you would not be allowed to leave.

 

[Fontaine]

Visual and aural hallucinations, lack of fear or normal sense of self preservation. Dehumanisation of others. Perhaps you have overstated your experience. But I can tell you if you ever spoke those words to a competent shrink, you would not be allowed to leave.

Lol, I see what you're getting at - that I'm schizophrenic.

The reality is that dissociation and a slight derealization are features in many mental illnesses, such as anxiety or depression.

I have probably overstated the extent of the derealization - it is hard to accurately transcribe into words the concept of emotional disengagement.

 

[Lord Byron]

Lol, I see what you're getting at - that I'm schizophrenic.

The reality is that dissociation and a slight derealization are features in many mental illnesses, such as anxiety or depression.

I have probably overstated the extent of the derealization - it is hard to accurately transcribe into words the concept of emotional disengagement.

I had the feeling you were moving into more poetic language while struggling to communicate the sensation. I have only had that feeling once as a teenager, after more than 24 hours of straight gaming. I went outside and it was like my body was a meat puppet that I controlled. I ran as fast as I could until I face planted and smashed up my lip and nose. But it didn’t matter, I just got up and kept running. Then I went inside and fell asleep. Never happened again.

I hope it didn’t seem like I was attacking you. It’s just that there will come times on this site where we encounter people who are genuinely very sick, and do not realise. When that happens we have a responsibility to tell them and urge them to seek help.

I don’t think you are one of those people.

 

[Rurik]

i think it means we are losing in the game of life

 

[feelsbadman32]

my entire life i've felt dissociated, a spectator watching myself

 

[Gremlincel]

I know that feeling all to well, it's very strange and unpleasant. These days I feel like I'm a ghost trapped in someone else's body, one from another world that I cannot understand or relate to. Everyone else- wait, huh, I just remembered while typing this, I done a thread on the issue a while back where I described my feelings as well as I could- https://incels.is/threads/i-no-longer-feel-i-am-part-of-the-real-world.64189/

 

[Septembercel]

I have this dude, it comes every now and then.
Doctors can't tell me what it is.

 

[Welcumtotherealworld]

I'm literally becoming more and more disconnected from the universe every day. I look down at my hands and realize that my body is basically just a meat vehicle for my brain.

Your brain is literally all that matters. If your brain got put in a Chad body then you'd be a Chad. Hopefully this will be possible with a synthetic body in the future.