Venting Anyone else knew it was over since childhood?

[FutureHallOfHanger]

I knew it was over even as a child. and i feel i have some right to brag. I used to self harm and be suicidal before i even understood what it even meant and that was in first grade. In first grade I used to grab my throat and try to choke myself hoping i'd die some how. I used to draw drawings of myself dead and people laughing at me. It seems edgy and fake now saying it but that's what i used to do and I was put in behavioral classes for it. i knew, even as young as 6 years old that i was targeted and universally hated, I genuinely knew that I could feel it in the way people interacted with me, the tones they spoke to me in, the fact i'd get in trouble and get blamed for stuff that didn't happen.

The black pill was always in me, i always knew something was wrong. Kids on here talking about "I KNEW IT WAS OVER WHEN I WAS ON A DISCORD CALL WITH AN EGIRL AND THE EGIRL DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME WAAAHHH". I knew it was over the moment i went to school and I knew what evil things those people thought of me.

 

[Words2_live_bye]

At 10 years old i was telling myself if i become a 30 year old virgin then i will get a hooker

 

[Ika-Sama]

I've had this intuitive feeling as a child, that getting a girlfriend would be very hard, if not impossible for me.

 

[worthlessloser26]

Subconsciously yeah I always knew even when I looked in the mirror I knew I looked weirder than the other kids. It wasn’t until like 4th grade they started pointing it out to me

 

[Zer0/∞]

It was over since I stared endlessly on the playground, sitting idly on the bench, and the only warmth I ever felt was my hot breath pressing around my scarf in the cold NYC afternoon because no one wanted to be around me for being an obscenely fat and short foreign kid.

 

[0Energy0Happyness]

yes, nerver began

 

[Pixycel]

Nah when I was a kid I looked like a Hitler youth poster boy and was pretty cute ngl. Only during puberty when my lower jaw didn't grow and acne started to set in did I know it was over.

 

[FutureHallOfHanger]

Nah when I was a kid I looked like a Hitler youth poster boy and was pretty cute ngl. Only during puberty when my lower jaw didn't grow and acne started to set in did I know it was over.

Cope

 

[Pixycel]

Cope

 

[Kamikaze]

I knew it was over by the age of 12.
Not over in terms of "hey im shy and awkward"
But over in the sense of "I am too hideous to be loved"

 

[erenyeager]

I knew it was over by the age of 12.
Not over in terms of "hey im shy and awkward"
But over in the sense of "I am too hideous to be loved"

 

[FutureHallOfHanger]

I am too hideous to be loved"

Yep. i knew there was always something wrong with me, but when i was 15 and i had my first crush is when i discovered it was my looks the whole time, it was like all my questions I ever had about why people treated me different were answered

 

[Kamikaze]

Hey at least the copes somewhat worked for 20 years

 

[Gigacel]

I've had this intuitive feeling as a child, that getting a girlfriend would be very hard, if not impossible for me.

Literally me. Growing up I’ve watch all my crushes fall for the different Chads who bullied me. I played the class clown to get attention from them only for them to see me as the dancing monkey.

Never included in anything when everyone else was.

Never received valentines cards in return when I spent the previous night setting them all up.

I was constantly outcasted and I never knew why. And the only time I found some grace from God was that I met another incel friend in highschool and now we in our late 30s and continued to be incels.

it was over long ago, I just didn’t know it until recently

 

[52baldcurryjanitor]

I knew it was over even as a child. and i feel i have some right to brag. I used to self harm and be suicidal before i even understood what it even meant and that was in first grade. In first grade I used to grab my throat and try to choke myself hoping i'd die some how. I used to draw drawings of myself dead and people laughing at me. It seems edgy and fake now saying it but that's what i used to do and I was put in behavioral classes for it. i knew, even as young as 6 years old that i was targeted and universally hated, I genuinely knew that I could feel it in the way people interacted with me, the tones they spoke to me in, the fact i'd get in trouble and get blamed for stuff that didn't happen.

The black pill was always in me, i always knew something was wrong. Kids on here talking about "I KNEW IT WAS OVER WHEN I WAS ON A DISCORD CALL WITH AN EGIRL AND THE EGIRL DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME WAAAHHH". I knew it was over the moment i went to school and I knew what evil things those people thought of me.

kinda especially after facing trauma/abuse as a kid

 

[Loner94]

Yep most definitely since my tragic experience started around the age of 5.

 

[proudweeb]

I figured it out around 17

 

[belowhumanity]

I used to draw drawings of myself dead and people laughing at me.

I thought I was the only one who ever used to do this, good to know that there's others I guess. I also used to draw pictures of me beating women, I was so based as a kid JFL. I hadn't even experienced cruelty at the specific hands of women at the time, I just knew that they would hurt me.

The black pill was always in me, i always knew something was wrong.

i knew, even as young as 6 years old that i was targeted and universally hated, I genuinely knew that I could feel it in the way people interacted with me, the tones they spoke to me in, the fact i'd get in trouble and get blamed for stuff that didn't happen.

I got that shit too. I never got assigned to a group for class projects, that's always a good indicator that society sees you as a burden. Also stuff like when the kindergarten teacher doesn't trying to integrate you with other kids, specifically calls you negative things for no reason, etc.

 

[Lonelycel]

Yeah, I knew about the importance of looks even back in 2012, I've been blackpilled for almost a decade

 

[Dr. Incel]

No it took me a long while. I always believed that it will be better later when im adult, people are more mature etc. Now im a wizard with a doctorate and it just keeps getting worse, ie more lonely. However i get to cope with my job, so thats Nice.

 

[HouseOfTarots2020]

My first blackpills were:

-A girl being repulsed by the severe eczema on my hands

-One time we had to write things about each other and one girl described me as "weird"

-Literally always being picked last in kickball (when I was forced to participate)

I was always sort of just aware I was at the bottom of the totem pole.

 

[JFL]

i prayed to die at age 8.

 

[Captvic]

I knew early on as well. I noticed it was considerably harder for me to even make friends as an incel at the ripe age of 8 years old. I knew I was destined to be a loner and turns out I was right

 

[highinhibition]

I knew it was over for me when I turned 10 and stopped being cute and noticed how different people started to treat me

 

[Sigma]

As a child I started to realize that modern society is misandrist and always positively enforces foids while either being neutral or hostile towards any male but I didn’t discover the blackpill until I was 19, unfortunately. If I would’ve learned as a 10 year old it would saved me so much time, energy and money.

 

[Mentally lost cel]

I knew it was over for me when I turned 10 and stopped being cute and noticed how different people started to treat me

 

[thevenon]

Strange, I have always known about my incel condition. Maybe already at the age of 10 years.

 

[crestfallencel]

I knew something was wrong with me around age 13-14, i never quite fit in anywhere

 

[Words2_live_bye]

Nah when I was a kid I looked like a Hitler youth poster boy and was pretty cute ngl. Only during puberty when my lower jaw didn't grow and acne started to set in did I know it was over.

same happened to me ngl. I was good looking child but it didn't last for very long

 

[kampman]

Deep inside I always knew there was something wrong with me.

 

[cutthroat]

i knew it was over the moment i discovered lookism.net in 2017 when i was 14 and then r/incels a while after.

 

[stoicincel]

it's actually a sign of a severe mood disorder if you had depression and you self harm when you were at such young age.

 

[Crumb]

Once puberty hit, i realized it was over. Kept hope till about age 18, before ghosting everyone