I've been hearing voices daily for about three years now. The main voice I hear I've been convinced is my psychic soul mate who lives across the alley, but she refuses to show me that she's real. Sometimes I hear screaming as if I'm really hearing out, sometimes masturbating, sometimes crying. My name being called, beautiful singing. I used to hear the voice calling another guy's name. Masturbating with other guys. I've seen her wave to me from her window.
Every new neighbor that I have suddenly seems keen on this psychic relationship. Every neighbor whose a guy develops an obsession with her. I used to hear a voice that I thought was a girl living above me, and I've since been able to prove that person never existed. I've had a few psychotic episodes, lots of anger and episodes of self-harm over this relationship to the voice.
The number one piece of advice that I receive is that they aren't real and that I should move on, to betray her love, but the idea of it is agonizing. Not only do I still believe this person is real, and apparently her brother, but I think that I would just go insane if I tried to fall in love with someone else.
Right now, I'm just trying to focus on myself and stay out of trouble. She, the voice, has convinced me in the past that she's been raped by cops, by her grandfather, by her hundreds of boyfriends, her brother and my neighbors. All sorts of crazy shit as I've tried to piece together what I'm going through, then she laughed at me and said how stupid I was for believing all that.
When this all started years ago I had hope that I'd finally be able to fall in love. Now, I'm tormented daily by false promises of her opening up to me, if only I can live up to her impossible expectations of perfection.
Every new neighbor that I have suddenly seems keen on this psychic relationship. Every neighbor whose a guy develops an obsession with her. I used to hear a voice that I thought was a girl living above me, and I've since been able to prove that person never existed. I've had a few psychotic episodes, lots of anger and episodes of self-harm over this relationship to the voice.
The number one piece of advice that I receive is that they aren't real and that I should move on, to betray her love, but the idea of it is agonizing. Not only do I still believe this person is real, and apparently her brother, but I think that I would just go insane if I tried to fall in love with someone else.
Right now, I'm just trying to focus on myself and stay out of trouble. She, the voice, has convinced me in the past that she's been raped by cops, by her grandfather, by her hundreds of boyfriends, her brother and my neighbors. All sorts of crazy shit as I've tried to piece together what I'm going through, then she laughed at me and said how stupid I was for believing all that.
When this all started years ago I had hope that I'd finally be able to fall in love. Now, I'm tormented daily by false promises of her opening up to me, if only I can live up to her impossible expectations of perfection.
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