
Deleted member 7448
Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
-
- Joined
- May 16, 2018
- Posts
- 7,127
Ok so basically I can't just ... do things. I get this overwhelming feeling of ... I don't know what to call it, but let me describe it.
For example, I can't just browse the internet. No, that feels too ... quiet. I wouldn't say lonely, cause I'm very antisocial and avoidant of people. But it feels too quiet and almost lonely, so I have to have something in the background, like a sitcom or something.
And I get bored very, very fast and hard. So it's a two-layered problem. It feels too quiet and almost lonely, and it gets boring very fast.
Can't even play video games cause of this for example. A video game by itself isn't enough to keep this feeling from creeping in. I have to also have a sitcom blaring in the background in order to play a game. It's made me unable to play a lot of games cause I can't focus on the game nor on the thing that I'm listening in the background, so I don't get proper enjoyment from both. Seriously, I can't even play games for hours anymore, it just becomes too boring.
Anyway, it does affect things more important than video games. Anything productive is 100 times harder because of this. It's like my mind is unable to bear even for a second just doing boring things. It literally feels like torture. So unless it's something that I can do automatically and have my mind escape into listening to a tv show or something, then it will be a very hard thing to get through.
Obviously working feels like shit and it's the worst, but I basically become anxious and uncomfortable from anything but laying in bed and vegetating with a sitcom blaring. Any activity besides my mind shutting off and watching something comedic or lighthearted is very uncomfortable.
For example, I can't just browse the internet. No, that feels too ... quiet. I wouldn't say lonely, cause I'm very antisocial and avoidant of people. But it feels too quiet and almost lonely, so I have to have something in the background, like a sitcom or something.
And I get bored very, very fast and hard. So it's a two-layered problem. It feels too quiet and almost lonely, and it gets boring very fast.
Can't even play video games cause of this for example. A video game by itself isn't enough to keep this feeling from creeping in. I have to also have a sitcom blaring in the background in order to play a game. It's made me unable to play a lot of games cause I can't focus on the game nor on the thing that I'm listening in the background, so I don't get proper enjoyment from both. Seriously, I can't even play games for hours anymore, it just becomes too boring.
Anyway, it does affect things more important than video games. Anything productive is 100 times harder because of this. It's like my mind is unable to bear even for a second just doing boring things. It literally feels like torture. So unless it's something that I can do automatically and have my mind escape into listening to a tv show or something, then it will be a very hard thing to get through.
Obviously working feels like shit and it's the worst, but I basically become anxious and uncomfortable from anything but laying in bed and vegetating with a sitcom blaring. Any activity besides my mind shutting off and watching something comedic or lighthearted is very uncomfortable.