Serious Any legit ways to develop at least average social skills?

[Melancholy_Worm]

I really think I have some problem, I just can't get myself to bond with people. I have what you call "friends" but only about 4 of them I consider truly people I know, and that's only because they are incels too. I am not shy, I have no problem saying hey to people and starting talking but....that's it. I don't know how to continue the conversation. Even among my friends I am usually a bit more silent than the others. Are there legit ways some of you know (or perhaps even tried) to increase your social skills? I don't know how to keep the conversation going...I feel like a fucking chameleon that's trying to copy colors from his surroundings but fails due to him not understanding the color...

 

[VST]

Nope, if you're socially retarded at 18 you'll be socially retarded for life.

Only thing that might work are drugs, but they aren't a permanent solution.

 

[IronMike]

job

 

[VST]

job

Lol, that doesn't work.

 

[Melancholy_Worm]

Lol, that doesn't work.

Worth a try though, gonna find something after I graduate

 

[VST]

Worth a try though, gonna find something after I graduate

It only gets harder after school boyo.

 

[Melancholy_Worm]

It only gets harder after school boyo.

Ayy but I ain't giving up till 25

 

[ItheIthe]

Lose respect for everyone and your inhibition will drop. Worked for me.

 

[StormlitAqua]

I really think I have some problem, I just can't get myself to bond with people. I have what you call "friends" but only about 4 of them I consider truly people I know, and that's only because they are incels too. I am not shy, I have no problem saying hey to people and starting talking but....that's it. I don't know how to continue the conversation. Even among my friends I am usually a bit more silent than the others. Are there legit ways some of you know (or perhaps even tried) to increase your social skills? I don't know how to keep the conversation going...I feel like a fucking chameleon that's trying to copy colors from his surroundings but fails due to him not understanding the color...

Lose respect for everyone and your inhibition will drop. Worked for me.

Seconded. Sperg out if it makes you have a "better personality" and have better social skills (that's what I do). It makes life more fun and free, which suprisingly makes it easier to deal with people. Your social skills don't matter anyway, if you're good looking, women will justify anything you do as "socially acceptable" and if you're a ugly truecel, you can do no right.

The best social skills are good looks.

 

[SupremeCel]

Lose respect for everyone and your inhibition will drop. Worked for me.

this tbh
not like treating them like shit, but thinking of them as lower than yourself helps.

 

[FeminismsCancer]

.I feel like a fucking chameleon that's trying to copy colors from his surroundings but fails due to him not understanding the color...

This nice analogy is actually the answer. You have to emulate your surroundings but the more aspie you are the harder if not impossible it becomes. I have a directory of "appropriate social behaviours and answers" in my brain that got populated gradually from childhood until now. That's how the older I become, the less I step on a mine. I still occasionally do and then it's over.

 

[Melancholy_Worm]

this tbh
not like treating them like shit, but thinking of them as lower than yourself helps.

"I am the perfect gentleman, I don't know what you girls don't see in me"
"You flock over to those brutes but not to me, I don't know why"
"I saw this hot blond girl driving in a car with this inferior indian guy, who had a car worse then me, how?"

You see that fellow in my signature? This attitude didn't get him too far.


"YOU GIRLSSSSSSSSSS"

 

[Panda]

Dont be ugly

 

[Captvic]

The best social skills are good looks.

 

[Deleted member 250]

Be attractive

 

[TheRealChincel]

Wishbone effect, you were doomed by 2-3 years old.

 

[Melancholy_Worm]

Wishbone effect, you were doomed by 2-3 years old.

Isn't it possible to break the Wishbone effect if you are aware of it? After all, the whole point is that you stop trying because you are treated like shit. Well....what if you don't?

 

[Solitarian_Walker]

Socializing. Won't help much if you're truecel though.

 

[TheRealChincel]

Isn't it possible to break the Wishbone effect if you are aware of it? After all, the whole point is that you stop trying because you are treated like shit. Well....what if you don't?

Apparently this stuff is ingrained in us. We can improve, but it won’t be to a “normal” level.

 

[Melancholy_Worm]

Apparently this stuff is ingrained in us. We can improve, but it won’t be to a “normal” level.

Still, better be a 2/10 than a 1/10 if possible, don't you think?

 

[Robtical]

Make a podcast called the roasting roasties podcast, and start a blackpill youtube audience. Then later bring roasties on the show to debate with, then after you feel comfortable talking to them on the podcast you'll be more relaxed talking in real life.

 

[Melancholy_Worm]

Make a podcast called the roasting roasties podcast, and start a blackpill youtube audience. Then later bring roasties on the show to debate them, then after you feel comfortable talking to them on the podcast you can be more relaxed talking to them in real life.

LMAO I will probably end up just sitting there like a retard saying nothing because I will run out of my "SOCIAL INTERACTIONS & RESPONSES" folder in my brain

 

[Robtical]

LMAO I will probably end up just sitting there like a retard saying nothing because I will run out of my "SOCIAL INTERACTIONS & RESPONSES" folder in my brain

you can have a cheat sheet of topics to talk about so you won't get stuck thinking of what to say.

 

[blackcel]

Just say what is on your mind. That really is all there is to it. Overthinking is your enemy when it comes to anything social.

 

[Melancholy_Worm]

Just say what is on your mind. That really is all there is to it. Overthinking is your enemy when it comes to anything social.

Sometimes I just want to break some roasties' necks just for the heck of it

 

[Saidak]

I understand you perfectly, I have similar feelings about the chameleon. I have the same when dancing, I basically pretend to be dancing. It simply imitates the movements, but I do not feel it at all and it does not make me happy.
I also have only 4 friends, I think it's a normal amount.

I understand that you want to be confident and talk to people about different things. There are exercises for this, such as approaching people and asking for an hour, especially for women. At one stage, the question was about the hour of a pretty girl, so that she would see that you have a watch.
I do not remember it right now, but I practiced with my friend and helped.
Those were challenges, I do not remember well.

 

[Asianmanletcel]

Is there even a drug that could make you NT?

 

[grayjedi90]

I really think I have some problem, I just can't get myself to bond with people. I have what you call "friends" but only about 4 of them I consider truly people I know, and that's only because they are incels too. I am not shy, I have no problem saying hey to people and starting talking but....that's it. I don't know how to continue the conversation. Even among my friends I am usually a bit more silent than the others. Are there legit ways some of you know (or perhaps even tried) to increase your social skills? I don't know how to keep the conversation going...I feel like a fucking chameleon that's trying to copy colors from his surroundings but fails due to him not understanding the color...

Im 28 no friends or girlfriend, just couldn't connect or relate to other people in general. I really tried to socialize and improve my social skills but at my age now it's impossible catch up with it. I need a miracle lol.

 

[Dekim]

job in retail, simple as that

 

[ItheIthe]

"I am the perfect gentleman, I don't know what you girls don't see in me"
"You flock over to those brutes but not to me, I don't know why"
"I saw this hot blond girl driving in a car with this inferior indian guy, who had a car worse then me, how?"

You see that fellow in my signature? This attitude didn't get him too far.


"YOU GIRLSSSSSSSSSS"

I don't mean like that, I mean just realize everyone else is crowd-following brainless hedonistic scum, and you'll be less scared of messing up in front of them.

 

[TheRealChincel]

Still, better be a 2/10 than a 1/10 if possible, don't you think?

If you can get close to normal, sure, but a 1 to 2 improvement still has people dismissing you as “weird”.

 

[LivingAbortion]

Social skills cannot be improved.

 

[Lonelyvirgin]

I really feel like it is a skill you just are born with it. I've tried to be more social, but it just doesnt work for me. As you said, I can never come up with stuff to talk about.

 

[UnfortunatelyINCEL98]

Dont be ugly

 

[Incelibate anarchist]

I wish i knew, i can't even say hi to people without feeling uncomfortable.

 

[Fontaine]

Yes there are. I went from high inhib to low inhib / moderate inhib.

Don't listen to mainstream psych crap about exposure therapy. These things don't work because at the root of shyness is the ego.

1) Reduce your ego. Accept that shame and ridicule are inevitable, that failure is inevitable, that rejections are inevitable, that you deserve them as a subhuman. I've said reduce, don't kill, because even the best Buddhist monks never manage to completely kill their ego. You can only go up from there rather than down in terms of social interaction. It's intelligent pessimism as embraced by trader and philosopher Nassim Taleb.

2) Use tricks to make social interaction less painful. A trick I often use is looking at the nose or the right eye of a person because I can't hold eye contact. This actually fools them and they think I'm normie.

You will never reach Chad-level low inhib but with some time and effort you can go from Asperger level to numale level.

 

[Beef Strogonoff]

If you have autism or just didn't have enough practice in your formative years you're never really going to reach society's standards. However, there are a few things that you can do to increase your skill. I find that reading books about basic body language is really helpful. It makes you feel more confident in public and increases your awareness of others.

As for actual conversation, try preparing yourself before you are exposed to a social situation. Make a plan for what to do and say in case people interact with you. Basically, be mentally and physically prepared whenever you go out. Also, lower your expectations. You're not going to be perfect. If you screw up an interaction, don't overthink it. The person/people you talked will probably forget by tomorrow.

Anyways, good luck with trying to improve your social skills. It's hard as hell, but it's definitely possible. Take small steps like trying to stand up straighter or smiling when people make eye contact with you. Hey, there's really no harm trying.

 

[Indari]

drugs