I dont understand myself. i haven´t made a new friend in nine years. Never had a good relationship with most of people, they all tend to look distant and upset a lite after talking or appronching me. Feels like they are just waiting an opportunity to use mock me, been agressive out of the blue or using jokes i cant understand.
I have one friend who i talk regullarly but the thing is: he lives like a PUA and everytime i hear about how girls gather around him i see how different we are, it is a good source of redpill ´cause we talk about the behavior and female nature. But it also destroys my heart knowing he can hug, kiss and have sex while non-male humans wont even look at me.
My mind is always full of negative thougths, i question the reality, my life, and the meaning of things every moment. I fell anxious and sad most of time but now and then i feel strong, altruístic and lonliness turns in to solitude mainly after gym, this sensation cames and goes and when it does i just cant feel me as part of the world.
I have one friend who i talk regullarly but the thing is: he lives like a PUA and everytime i hear about how girls gather around him i see how different we are, it is a good source of redpill ´cause we talk about the behavior and female nature. But it also destroys my heart knowing he can hug, kiss and have sex while non-male humans wont even look at me.
My mind is always full of negative thougths, i question the reality, my life, and the meaning of things every moment. I fell anxious and sad most of time but now and then i feel strong, altruístic and lonliness turns in to solitude mainly after gym, this sensation cames and goes and when it does i just cant feel me as part of the world.
