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Serious am i just a complainer? or is my life actually difficult

inceloser

inceloser

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today has been dreadful. my head hurts so much and i have tutoring at 8am on a saturday. i have to wake up at 6am to do my notes/homework. then after one hour of my chem tutor, i told her my head hurts and she said shell let me leave then ended up wasting another hour of my time. it was already 11pm by then (she came late today as do all my tutors, they come on their own time so whenever they come its unexpected as shit. she came at 9.) so from 9 to almost 11 i was working with her. my head was burning, called my physics tutor and told him not to come, i woke up at 1pm. my math tutor was here, we worked until 4pm.
fuck.
sunday is the only break day i have and its hardly a break, i have so much homework. im redoing my last year of highschool, chose do to it in hong kong because life with my father is emotionally draining. my family lives in the west.
i told my dad to sign me up for only 2 science classes and a math class because thats all ill be able to manage. but he said i need to work hard and pass while taking other classes. he knows i lack the ability to do these classes at once, im at a middle school grade science level. and he signed me up for chemistry, biology, physics, and math too. everyone in my class is ahead of me, i have no prior knowledge of any of these topics.
im fucked.
then on top of this, my dad says if i fail along with if i dont lose 100lbs in 10 months when i get back and turn 19, he will kick me out and ill basically be homeless in america at 19. because no fucking way can a 19 year old survive on their own in that economic downfall of a country (the state that its in rn, 1000 usd for a 0.5 bedroom and 0.5 bathroom apartment in the ghetto streets of the niggerstates.
terrible.
i already failed my first physics quiz, got a 3/10. jfl, gonna be a long ass fucking year for me. just for me to get kicked out and live an even longer hell of a life.
when i sleep i feel like im dead, and i feel relieved. but when im awaken i feel like im being brought back into the hell my parents brought me into, which is this fucking world.
school is so fucking long here, i chose this so why am i complaining. its from 8am to almost 5pm some days, and after that i have tutoring, on the weekdays i have 1-2 tutors and they take up to 1-3 hours depending on how they're feeling or how much we have to cover. i know absolutely jack shit of the stuff theyre teaching me. jfl. fml.
 
Your life is hard
 
Your life is hard
really? my parents gaslighted me and said i have had a very easy and happy life so sometimes i feel like i dont deserve to be this deppressed and suicidal when ive been bullied my whole entire life and couldnt even go to lunch in middle school because everyone in my school thought i was a loser. i had to hide in the bathroom for 3 whole years because it was that bad. on top of that verbal and physical abuse from my father.
hed lock me in the bathroom just for farting and then beat me some days until i accidentally called CPS on them and they reverted to me just running or doing pushups or staring at a wall + screaming at me and telling me ill be a fat loser with an obese wife as punishment.
 
my parents gaslighted me and said i have had a very easy and happy life so sometimes i feel like i dont deserve to be this deppressed and suicidal when ive been bullied my whole entire life and couldnt even go to lunch in middle school because everyone in my school thought i was a loser
Lmao my parents did the exact same thing to me when i was your age ,they said j had an ez life lol ,while my life was the hardest one ,dont let anyone gaslight you
 
Lmao my parents did the exact same thing to me when i was your age ,they said j had an ez life lol ,while my life was the hardest one ,dont let anyone gaslight you
:feelsbadman:thanks man, ive been confused on why i have serious urges to rope. and waking up feels like a death sentence
 
on top of that verbal and physical abuse from my father.
hed lock me in the bathroom just for farting and then beat me some days until i accidentally called CPS on them and they reverted to me just running or doing pushups or staring at a wall + screaming at me and telling me ill be a fat loser with an obese wife as punishment.
We are really damn similar man
 

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