People that think jerking off or even having an occasional drink is destructive I envy.
I wish I never started using. The first time I drank I was 10 and the first time smoking was 13 and have been on a binge for 5-6 years. I was only able stop for 2 weeks last may
. This might be cope but im also 80% sure I severely stunted my growth because the constant smoking fucked up my REM sleep mixed with drinking also raised my estrogen and closed my growth plates prematurely.
Once I got into middle school things kept getting worse, I took initiative and got myself an adderall script and that's when things really got bad. I would save up and take real tweak doses (60-80mg) making me look even more ND than I am (Wide eyes, constant blinking, fidgeting, erratic speech, constant sweating). Obviously no one would want to interact with a 5'7 sub-5 tweaker.
High school was the same shit, but the best part is my parents didn't notice/care because i was still able to get good grades
Now here I am, rotting with my only cope. It's all I can do. It's the only option I have to fill the hole. I have nothing
I wish I never started using. The first time I drank I was 10 and the first time smoking was 13 and have been on a binge for 5-6 years. I was only able stop for 2 weeks last may
. This might be cope but im also 80% sure I severely stunted my growth because the constant smoking fucked up my REM sleep mixed with drinking also raised my estrogen and closed my growth plates prematurely.Once I got into middle school things kept getting worse, I took initiative and got myself an adderall script and that's when things really got bad. I would save up and take real tweak doses (60-80mg) making me look even more ND than I am (Wide eyes, constant blinking, fidgeting, erratic speech, constant sweating). Obviously no one would want to interact with a 5'7 sub-5 tweaker
.High school was the same shit, but the best part is my parents didn't notice/care because i was still able to get good grades
Now here I am, rotting with my only cope. It's all I can do. It's the only option I have to fill the hole. I have nothing
