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Serious After family tragedy my they all betrayed me and want me to die

B

Bazooka

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I lost my mother early this year who decided to backstab me after I walked out when she couldn’t respect boundaries. Two week after going no contact she got diagnosed with a terminal illness and spent five months depending on my uncle and blaming me for her misery. We used to fight all the time. I had PTSD after being screamed at her since i was the height of a pigeon , She instead of backing off when I had panic attacks would stand over me screaming about what’s wrong with me that I act like a monster? I used to harm myself because she would do that. It was awful, so I put in place boundaries that she wasn’t allowed to treat me that way anymore. She refused to respect it, so I cut contact and it broke my heart. When I found out she was dying she was already in a coma and died two days later. Then the shock that I was cut out of the will and found a letter she wrote me telling me her death and misery were all my fault and how evil I was for abandoning her. It cut like a knife.
This woman who treated me like her everything when I was a child would actually do that to me. I had a really okay job, but the shock of her death and betrayal destroyed my mental health. I started hallucinating her screaming as she was being cut to pieces. I was in a delusional state believing it was actually happening. I ended up in psychiatric hospitals and got diagnosed and put on medication before they could bring me out of it with two rope attempts. I hit rock bottom. I lost my job am now unemployed looking for work getting the door slammed in my face at every turn.
My family turned on me as they took the inheritance and agreed with my mother I was evil and left not caring at all. I cannot get hired because I have gaps in my employment, so everyone assumes I’m a bad employee. My money is running out. I took a part-time job at Amazon ( living hell ) but that will only cover me for a certain amount of time. I’m depressed and in agony. Being a Incel nobody cares but instead enjoying me suffer and wish that i die.
 
Did you really buy vip nigga?
 
This thread has likely been redacted by a foid
 
Brutal read. And yeah, I agree with the question from sub5chud: you lost your previous job (and now can allow a part-time only, on amazon) and decided to buy vip?
 
Did you really buy vip nigga?
Happy Jon Snow GIF by Game of Thrones
 
Bruuutal

I have never been in your situation so I do not have any advice for you. Sucks that your family is treating you like shit for taking revenge on your mother. Idk, try searching for a better job, something behind closed doors like stacking shelves.
 
Absolute unfair. I feel sorry for you bro. I think the only solution is moving to another place.
 
Kill and rape all your relatives in tetris
 
So why would the family care despite getting money from your mom? Usually family splinters after a mom, dad, grandparent passes away.

This is a question I'm not trying to ask or say anything to demean you.
 

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