RageFuel Afraid of snapping and going on nofap

[Figthcel]

Hey boyos

The last months have been terrible for me. And Iam angry. I tried so hard. I have worked like a retard for the past 6 years, making lots of money and yet I am failing at everything else.

I cant gymmaxx as my body refuses to get stronger.

I cant stand my relatives and people at my work.

I hate kids and the normie beliefs.

I cant stand my neighbors.

And Iam supposed to take on more responsibilitie at work lol. Those people HAVE NO IDEA WHO ARE THEY DEALING WITH. Some of them just feel Iam not OK, the older people might feel my terrible karma.

And using this forum made me hate women. I hardly even want any anymore. They dont even know as much about themselves as we have learned. Why do we even crave their bodies? Theyre like children.

I am a mental abomination with skyhigh IQ and wiser than any of the obnoxious brutes around me, but its useless as Iam mentally unstable hateful and I cant even diagnose myself.

I am starting to hate every person around me.

During the day I might feel OK for a while and then I get RAGE and dread attacks. I am getting tired of it. I am getting tired of coping. Of trying to look for positives. Of working several jobs. Of pretending. Of excercising daily.

At some moments I would like to just snap, for the bad feelings to end. Maybe being in prison would be more comfortable. To not have to take responsibility of me anymore.

Also, as others have mentioned today, Iam getting sick of porn as well. Its like stuffing yourself with food when ure full. And it starts to get disgusting. I also hardly get erection from it. Its sad.

First thing, Iam going on complete nofap. My record has been 14 days. I need to keep it longer to recover from this. I wish it helps me.

Second thing. I have some things planned I need to do in the next 4-8 weeks.

When that is finished, if I dont get better until then, I will either have to leave the city and seek refuge somewhere, out of this horrid society, or I will have to take radical measures and maybe end my life. My hope also is that a lot of money would help me to run away. But I need that money fast.

Ok. I feel better now, the 15 minutes writing this have helped.

But I am sure tomorrow will once again bring several hours of pain, dread, helplessness....

I should be old enough to just deal with my stuff and not cry here on the forums. Yet the other options left to me are just radical.

 

[Untermenschcel]

no fap help me lot. it make me super horny and want to find escort because it like torture but at the same time it is very amazing and help my energy and positiveity in many way.
you have nothing to lose either just to try 90 day and if dont like it then go back on porn

 

[ICanOnlyFapToBDSM]

easy there cowboy

 

[Deleted member 6657]

Cry your heart out, brother. That's what we are here for. It sounds like your current coping methods aren't doing it. Have you tried using all that money you've acquired on escorts or drugs? If you cant discipline yourself to use these in moderation, it might be best not to, but if I had money that's how I would cope.

 

[ShortUglyLoserFaggot]

If you feel like you might go to prison, get on a depressant or something. I'm sure a psychiatrist could help you with that. Also, about the gymcelling thing, I'm pretty experienced with that sort of thing because I used to do it a lot. Why is your body not getting stronger, are you eating above your maintenance and gaining weight?

 

[Zaetheus]

 

[Figthcel]

Cry your heart out, brother. That's what we are here for. It sounds like your current coping methods aren't doing it. Have you tried using all that money you've acquired on escorts or drugs? If you cant discipline yourself to use these in moderation, it might be best not to, but if I had money that's how I would cope.

Dont wanna do drugs. I have had problems with addictions.

I might try escorts. Like once a month as a reward. Thank you for the advice.

If you feel like you might go to prison, get on a depressant or something. I'm sure a psychiatrist could help you with that. Also, about the gymcelling thing, I'm pretty experienced with that sort of thing because I used to do it a lot. Why is your body not getting stronger, are you eating above your maintenance and gaining weight?

Not going to take any medicine. I will deal with it myself or die trying.

I am mostly ectomorph and it takes me insane amount of time to grow any muscle. No matter how much I eat. Like months to increase any weights at all. I would have to use steroids. Which again I am not gonna risk my health now after years of building my life.

After 3 years of gymcelling I look basically like below average. I have gained 6 kg in those years and it is visible, but average guy doing zero sports looks stronger. It annoys me daily.

Yet giving it up now? Maybe if I decide to leave the society. Then it will no longer matter. Maybe I should free myself.


But what to do then? I dont enjoy many things lol.

Maybe some kind of a business to get rich.

But thank you for caring!

 

[ShortUglyLoserFaggot]

Dont wanna do drugs. I have had problems with addictions.

I might try escorts. Like once a month as a reward. Thank you for the advice.


Not going to take any medicine. I will deal with it myself or die trying.

I am mostly ectomorph and it takes me insane amount of time to grow any muscle. No matter how much I eat. Like months to increase any weights at all. I would have to use steroids. Which again I am not gonna risk my health now after years of building my life.

After 3 years of gymcelling I look basically like below average. I have gained 6 kg in those years and it is visible, but average guy doing zero sports looks stronger. It annoys me daily.

Yet giving it up now? Maybe if I decide to leave the society. Then it will no longer matter. Maybe I should free myself.


But what to do then? I dont enjoy many things lol.

Maybe some kind of a business to get rich.

But thank you for caring!

I don't mean the weight on the exercises you're doing, i mean bodyweight. When bulking, do you gain 1 lb per week? Becuase you should be gaining about that much or ballpark. If you aren't putting on that much then eat more until you get an excess of 500 cal per day. If you don't eat and try to lift you will not gain strength at all. Also, nothing wrong with getting on medication except for the sides if it saves you from prison.

 

[Deleted member 677]

Don't do it.

 

[FiveFourManlet]

Find copes before you KSG

 

[Figthcel]

I don't mean the weight on the exercises you're doing, i mean bodyweight. When bulking, do you gain 1 lb per week? Becuase you should be gaining about that much or ballpark. If you aren't putting on that much then eat more until you get an excess of 500 cal per day. If you don't eat and try to lift you will not gain strength at all. Also, nothing wrong with getting on medication except for the sides if it saves you from prison.

Starting to eat more now.

 

[Ninrod]

Borderline disorder maybe

 

[ShortUglyLoserFaggot]

Starting to eat more now.

Bewarned, if you do 500cal/day you will gain fat, although it won't be much, you can avoid gaining fat at all by doing 200 or 300 a day. But your gains will probably be slower and you'll probably need to watch protein intake.