falloutpilled
Technology exists. Hence I am a VRcel.
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- Joined
- Apr 3, 2022
- Posts
- 448
Psychosis happens more frequently when I'm around others, when there's a lot of pressure put on me.
I'm going to school tomorrow again after a short break from it, but it will just worsen my situation.
Fuck, voices are the worst. Visual stuff are much more bearable. I know shadow people don't exist when I see them. They are just annoying as shit sometimes. But at the same time I have these thoughts floating around in my mind: what if they are from another dimension that only I can see? And others can't? Things getting different colors than they usually are, walls having waves in them. It's all so weird.
Tactile hallucinations are another cake. The interesting part that I've noticed about them is that I can feel something moving below my skin, but when I look at it, I see bumps in a completely different place. When I try to smash them they just disappear, like one second it was there, the next it isn't. I also fucking hate bugs, my mind likes to fuck with me.
But when I hear the voices, I think for a split second that the sound was real, then I realize it wasn't.
I would describe it as if someone was right next to you, behind your w/e, out of the blue they scream at you, or call your name. But you just can't see them, they are not real.
Constant voice hearings happened a really really long time ago, which I am grateful for. But they would often tell me to kill someone, kill myself or rob someone. When in store, steal something. Who should I be suspicious of. These are the things that just came from the top of my mind.
Hallucinations happened a long time ago, I would say 2-3 days ago at home. But school is just going to make them appear again.
Maybe I shouldn't have experimented not taking my meds. It's over now, there's no turning back. I'm going to live the rest of my life like this. I have to.
I'm going to school tomorrow again after a short break from it, but it will just worsen my situation.
Fuck, voices are the worst. Visual stuff are much more bearable. I know shadow people don't exist when I see them. They are just annoying as shit sometimes. But at the same time I have these thoughts floating around in my mind: what if they are from another dimension that only I can see? And others can't? Things getting different colors than they usually are, walls having waves in them. It's all so weird.
Tactile hallucinations are another cake. The interesting part that I've noticed about them is that I can feel something moving below my skin, but when I look at it, I see bumps in a completely different place. When I try to smash them they just disappear, like one second it was there, the next it isn't. I also fucking hate bugs, my mind likes to fuck with me.
But when I hear the voices, I think for a split second that the sound was real, then I realize it wasn't.
I would describe it as if someone was right next to you, behind your w/e, out of the blue they scream at you, or call your name. But you just can't see them, they are not real.
Constant voice hearings happened a really really long time ago, which I am grateful for. But they would often tell me to kill someone, kill myself or rob someone. When in store, steal something. Who should I be suspicious of. These are the things that just came from the top of my mind.
Hallucinations happened a long time ago, I would say 2-3 days ago at home. But school is just going to make them appear again.
Maybe I shouldn't have experimented not taking my meds. It's over now, there's no turning back. I'm going to live the rest of my life like this. I have to.
