W
wastedTime
Officer
★★★
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2021
- Posts
- 796
- isolated for many years
- i just cant find any reason to live.
- normie activities dont entertain me.
- im depressed for many reasons
- i got many mental illnesses
- i used to cope with gaming, then anime, then manga, then coding. All these copes eventually stopped working
- now i am like empty shell, without aim and purpose, all alone, rotting, sitting in home
- i used to have a well paid, little-time-consuming job, but work was insufferable so i left. i didnt work 8h per day, much less, but i stressed about it 16h per day. at least i had money though. now i still stress, but im broke, so i stress even more
- i envy people who find reason to leave home
- i cant leave home not bcuz im scared but bcuz it feels pointless, no reason to. feeling like a robot who was originally human
- i am rather asocial and socializing doesnt give me 'kicks' like it does to other people, perhaps the trait of low value men and a result of series of unlucky unfruitful events
and what would I do after work anyway, just rot at home, like i rotted the last time i had a job.. suffer in job, rot at home, wait for death
(By the way my field is programmer and its ultra scam, because this job is stressing and unrewarding as hell. id rather have some simple part time job, and a meaningful life, than investing 100% of my brain in work and then being a tired, depressed vegetable after)
i absolutely cant stand working, thus I always wanted to be NEET.
Not having money was the excuse to not go out and not socialize
Years passed by. I feel like life is so pointless now.
Women always socialize with ease thats cause men are pulled by them automatically. Thats why there are no philosopher women, or loner women. They will always have someone, either friends or bf or both. Thats why women never lose tracks of their path. once they stop being children, they will be trying to grow their social status and life quality, because they have the drive to do so, and they see importance in it (whether it has sense or not, id say it has sense, but it also doesnt). I dont have such drive. Nor im brainwashed enough to see much sense in it. Id guess other low value men dont have this drive either.
You see theres definitely sense in improving your life quality, but in the same time socializing, which is a part of it, doesnt make much sense. But it will make your brain happy. Thats the point and sense of socializing. And the nonsense of socializing would be when you socialize but it doesnt make u happy plus costs time. So in that case you'd be investing time and getting nothing in return. I guess thats why someone so weird like me considers it pointless. In the end it depends on how good you are at socializing, and on the people you socialize with.
I said this:
Let me tell you how kids think. Kids want to go outside because its fun and it undoubtely is. During that age.i just wanna be someone, anyone, but being a NEET for so long, my brain changed.
But then they grow up and they become normies.
Normies want to socialize because thats what are the standards.
Theyre interacting with people and their gazes everyday. They dont want to be worse. They dont want to be considered not-normal.
Thats why they socialize, thts why they party, have friends, try to have gf, post vacations photos on facebook, buy 2x more expensive car than they need, and shit like that.
For me who is not a kid anymore and not a normie, life is very hard. Because life equals suffering, being a normie is a cope in itself, that normies use to cope with this suffering.
but what I can do? The only way to live is to live as normie. Anything else, any other introverted cope, is only temporary. only being a normie, is a permanent cope