Venting A rant about life in general.

[lurkingtourist]

Good Evening everyone, this will probably be my one and only post in this forum and won’t expect many to see this nor even read it fully. It’s going to be pretty long. To start it off with, I’m a 18 year old KHHV truecel. Although this is a pretty mainstream idea, I genuinely cannot come into terms to the idea that our lives even have a meaning. At least in our times nothing has a meaning now, maybe it used to before. I’ve been living a very mundane life. It’s been okay, I don’t have any issues like I don’t ask for anything more than what I have but i still feel worthless and unhappy. Anything that i do makes me unhappy, not really unhappy but I just don’t feel any emotions whatsoever, like there’s no point to what I am doing. I feel depleted of my energy, my mind is so foggy it’s like there’s not even a cognitive function going on up there. Whatever I eat, whatever I do, whatever I partake in makes me feel just meh. No point at all. I can’t even bring myself to hop on whatever game i have so I could finish it and play it. Everytime i either watch a media or play a game makes me feel like there isn’t any point into even watching it, reading something or even playing something. Everything has become so performative in our day and age. From the moment you were born, until you rise up in the societal ranks based on your attributes or social skills will determine your life. Everything you do now will appeal to either a certain person or a certain audience. Everything you do is like your performing to outdo your own past self so people can see the new improved you, “better” and whatnot. You have to go to school so you can get the degree so you can get that job your parents wants. Even in family circles you are performing for them to race on who’s the better offspring. Even on your job, on your social circle, the games you play, the forums and sites and wherever, it’s all linked to being performative. But it doesn’t even have any meaning. Anyone can larp the mask you choose to show yourself as. Anyone can be you as long as they know you. Anything that you like now normies will come up like vultures and raid your spaces and try to look “niche” so they can appeal to their social circles with their hidden knowledge per se. I don’t even blame them everyone in this world is trying to appeal to someone. Having to workout, physically shifting and changing your body so you have a better value on the sex market. With how much standards are raised nowadays, you need to have the most excruciating routine paired with alot of shit so you can improve yourself to appeal to higher social ranks. Why do i have to do that? I don’t wanna do it, never wanted to, I hate the idea of having to improve your looks or yourself in general because people just won’t accept who you are. Life is so fucking brutal like what’s the point when almost 99% are the most braindead average which are performing to be accepted in the 1%.Just the chances of you being born are at a crazy RNG rarity. Accounting you being a genetic anomaly that people will yearn and love which will probably give you meaning in this material world, those chances are near zero. Back to me not feeling anything, I really don’t know what can I do.I hop in cvcktok just to see 34 new dogma “niche” diets resurfacing and people monetizing off of each one. Id love to hop on and maybe try one of em, couldn’t care enough to do it. I really don’t care for anything it’s genuinely stupid. I’ve had my family put me in moments or positions so I can finally feel like my life is in risk or will get ruined if I don’t do something and my ass still doesn’t react or do anything. I wish i was worth something, or atleast have a purpose in this world. Right now I’m in uni studying for Mechanical Engineering since it’s the only thing i could pick while being biased by family. If i could id rather not do anything in life and just rot away and let nature’s roots succumb throughout my body. Needless to say i think that I’m not cut out for it. This semester it’s only general studies classes because I couldn’t register the prerequisite classes that i needed before hand so i was stuck with others. I know for a fact next semester once I do actual STEM classes my mind will be raped. I genuinely cannot do any form of work. This summer will be beautiful cope enjoying the sea with my family. Family circle is the only thing i have really, other than that outside of it I’m all alone. The only reason i don’t pull the trigger is because of my mother swearing on her life on my last attempt that If i try to do this again she’ll kill herself aswell. I love her dearly so I’m not doing that. Going to be stuck with feeling emotionless with my life. One day we were talking she gave me a small hinder of thought from how she actually is. She was saying how since she was a kid she was very different from others, seeing stuff and whatnot. She didn’t disclose much because she believes it’s not right for her to share the information she knows based on what she’s “seen”. How she thinks life is that it’s reincarnation in itself. Your whole purpose is for your soul to experience everything, living life.She also believes you always will have the same family in its core, just different faces, and that life is revolved around energy and conduits and just spiritual alignments in itself, and that our current world had been succumbed by evil. Clarify that I don’t remember it well so don’t blame me for it.I think this is it, I don’t have much to rant on other than just me feeling that life had no purpose and i don’t even wanna live, id rather live my final days in s forest where i slowly starve and die, being with nature. I love nature and I wish i could just let go of everything and live a secluded life, but society doesn’t let that happen. If you came along all the way down here and actually read this whole rant, congrats i respect your dedication on hearing my thoughts.If you dnr the whole paragraph that’s great aswell, i don’t expect anyone to read this.I also hope maybe this can make some people feel seen or related. If not, that’s good aswell. Fun fact about this is that while laying on the backyard at night staring at the stars i was rehearsing this post in my head and then i thought about actually posting it. It isn’t as accurate as it was in my head, i had much more stuff i could have talked about but it’s 2AM and i got class tomorrow.Anyways thanks for reading and have a good night.

 

[Animecel2D]

Brutal first post

 

[TrollPILLER]

Im there for you bro.
Just take the rope and do it
Im with you.

 

[TrollPILLER]

I’m a 18 year old KHHV truecel.

Not to downplay your struggles but you still have time and still are young.

 

[tired as fuck]

This is indeed quite brutal for a 1st post, yes. Allow me to have a little conversation with you, though.

I genuinely cannot come into terms to the idea that our lives even have a meaning. At least in our times nothing has a meaning now, maybe it used to before

Life has no intrinsic meaning beyond reproduction. A dog is content with eating, playing, fucking. But since humans are not dogs, and we have something different in us (be it the "mind", the "spirit" or the "consciousness" or something else), man has given himself meanings and purposes since the dawn of time. Besides the mystical aspects, which are of no concern to me, religion is a meaning generator. Any religion, really. We've had those for 4000 years or something, but nowadays they don't cut it anymore. There is no hegemony of religion over culture anymore, or at least it's not explicit and not with the end goal of proselytizing and spreading the religion. Think of Friedrich Nietzsche's famous declaration that "God is dead!". It means that religion has stopped being THE central part of our lives.

Religion is a way for man to interface out into the world and connect with it, ever since the most archaic animistic cults. Some religions have Gods everywhere, some have only 1 God, some have a weird Triad thingy going on, but that is irrelevant here: Religions offer meaning, a purpose for life. Act morally and you'll receive a prize in the next life; act wickedly and you'll forever live in the absence of God, even in the afterlife; break the reincarnation cycle; and on and on.

Philosophy can also be a way to provide meaning (religion can be seen as a subset of philosophy, especially considering the ethics, teleology and metaphysics of it). Some philosophical currents, especially during times of social and personal crises can arise and give meaning: Cynicism, Epicureanism, Stoicism in the Hellenic world; German Idealism, Existentialism and its branches (Absurdism etc). Then of course, Nihilism denies that life possesses any meaning and denounces the futility of any action of man, depending on which current of nihilism is explored (active/passive for instance). The Italian Giacomo Leopardi, in his final years of production, set out a heroic meaning for our lives: "To ally together and combat nature" (I still shill for every incel to read up on his philosophy, as he was a literal truecel).

Unfortunately for you, you cannot go back from this realization. Now, the ball is on your court: accept the futility of it all, but go on anyways. Liberate yourself from the necessity for a meaning to be there.

I’ve been living a very mundane life. It’s been okay, I don’t have any issues like I don’t ask for anything more than what I have but i still feel worthless and unhappy. Anything that i do makes me unhappy, not really unhappy but I just don’t feel any emotions whatsoever, like there’s no point to what I am doing. I feel depleted of my energy, my mind is so foggy it’s like there’s not even a cognitive function going on up there. Whatever I eat, whatever I do, whatever I partake in makes me feel just meh. No point at all. I can’t even bring myself to hop on whatever game i have so I could finish it and play it. Everytime i either watch a media or play a game makes me feel like there isn’t any point into even watching it, reading something or even playing something.

Sounds like depression.

yep.

But don't expect me to sit here and act like a therapy faggot and be like "oh yeah wash the dishes and uhh clean your room" like that's gonna solve everything.

What you lack is a purpose to get up from bed in the morning. A real purpose, not some bullshit that tiktok therapists blather about.

Many find their purpose in their jobs, even if they hate it. That is because if they were to not do that, they'd find themselves in a boring life that has them trapped in a cycle of pain and mindless obedience that has destroyed their soul and left them with nothing when they eventually die.

If you have never done so, since you have considerations that clearly resemble mine when I was 15-16, I encourage you to read "Industrial Society and its Future" by Theodore John Kaczynski, a linear, axiomatic and logically pure text and "The obsolescence of the human, volume 1: On the soul in the age of the Second Industrial Revolution" by Gunther Anders, a heavier and longer text but written in a style that makes it more digestible. You sound a lot like a person that is maladjusted to this society; indeed, when a human cannot adjust to this shit fucking soyciety, he is blamed, called mad, and prescribed pharmaceuticals to numb him (SSRIs are evil) and force a square peg into a circle. It is insanity, yet the sheep has swallowed the pills and now we live amongst zombies.

It is all right, though. You are still salvageable. The first thing you need to do, is think, and come to the realization yourself that it is not you who is wrong for feeling any of what you wrote you feel, but it is the world, the society, that is wrong. We have evolved technologically at such a pace that has never been seen anywhere at any point in time. Yet, people have the courage to act like we are just supposed to adjust peacefully.


Therapy won't help you. Therapy is a crock of shit foids do to larp like they are able to solve other normies/foids larpers' larped out problems which don't exist outside of their larp. It is a theatre play, it really is.
What will help you is realizing that you're one of the few sane ones in this world of insane fucking people.

Everything has become so performative in our day and age. From the moment you were born, until you rise up in the societal ranks based on your attributes or social skills will determine your life. Everything you do now will appeal to either a certain person or a certain audience. Everything you do is like your performing to outdo your own past self so people can see the new improved you, “better” and whatnot. You have to go to school so you can get the degree so you can get that job your parents wants. Even in family circles you are performing for them to race on who’s the better offspring. Even on your job, on your social circle, the games you play, the forums and sites and wherever, it’s all linked to being performative. But it doesn’t even have any meaning. Anyone can larp the mask you choose to show yourself as. Anyone can be you as long as they know you. Anything that you like now normies will come up like vultures and raid your spaces and try to look “niche” so they can appeal to their social circles with their hidden knowledge per se. I don’t even blame them everyone in this world is trying to appeal to someone. Having to workout, physically shifting and changing your body so you have a better value on the sex market. With how much standards are raised nowadays, you need to have the most excruciating routine paired with alot of shit so you can improve yourself to appeal to higher social ranks.

Here's the good news: you don't have to do that.
Here's the bad news: you'll feel an insurmountable amount of shame for going against the gradient.


Take me, as an example: chose to pursue higher education when my father (the oppressive bully archetype) wanted me to get a vocational job and get out of the house; chose an undergrad/major/whatever-you-call-it-in-your-country in mathematics when my father pushed for some type of engineering so I could have a high paying job (as if these days in my country lol). Why did I do those things? I don't know, to be fair. I didn't know why I wanted to go to a better secondary school, and I didn't know why I wanted to major in mathematics specifically. I had a pretty shitty childhood/teen age, bullied until high school where I just disappeared and dissociated through the 5 yrs, with some "friends" who I kept when entering university. Unfortunately, studying in university changed my mindset and while studying, I discovered my love for mathematics and logic. I also started to take more responsibility with myself: I stopped shaving and trimming my hair, because I thought it was hypocritical to declare my lack of care for looks while actively taking care of mine. A lot of people whom I thought were friends, and even my own family, were exposed for the superficial normies that they are, so I decided to cut off the "friends", some of whom I knew for basically my whole life.

Was it a hard choice to do? Totally. Did I falter? Not one bit.
Here is some food for thought: if nothing matters and everything is predetermined anyways, then why be scared of acting? It'll be what it was supposed to be. So just live with the freedom that this thought may confer.

I agree, normies and foids have ruined everything that was dear to me, first and foremost the internet. Even though I only got on it in 2018 and it was well past "ruined" status for many, I have witnessed a considerable enshittification since then. They have ruined otaku subcultures with their moralfagging and virtue signalling, they have ruined other geek/nerd subcultures, they have ruined university, reading, linguistics, any hobby I once had. Ruined by their stupid fucking performative state of being.

I have lost many friends because of it: people that went off the net, mass exodus due to the sheer stench that these intruders produced.

There was this blogger who almost 10 years ago if not even 11 or 12 made this article talking about how normies and so called "sociopaths" (defined as those that come into a culture solely to profit off of it) eventually infiltrate every space and kill it from the inside, or turn it into a watered down, aseptic version of itself.
Here it is https://meaningness.com/geeks-mops-sociopaths interesting read.

Life has to go on, somehow, some way. I'm not trying to be some niggER sheboon going all "id izzz wha id izzzzzz" but determinism quite literally does not spare anyone. The unrelenting march of time does not spare anyone. Time does not, in fact, heal all wounds, but you, the Agent, the Operator of the determined reality, do.

Or at least that is a small part of my vision of the world and the mind and things.

I do encourage you to seek out your own and never be afraid or get too complacent to try out or try to implement newer axioms into your belief system.

Either way, yes, you have the option to go against the gradient and impose your will on this sick society, even though you might have to take responsibility for the inevitable consequences that will follow, such as losing (supposed) friends and being less diplomatic with your family. But ultimately, if you don't impose your will, even as a tragic, heroic gesture of useless fight, then who even are you? Don't be a butterfly, trust me (reference for very few people).

Why do i have to do that? I don’t wanna do it, never wanted to, I hate the idea of having to improve your looks or yourself in general because people just won’t accept who you are. Life is so fucking brutal like what’s the point when almost 99% are the most braindead average which are performing to be accepted in the 1%.Just the chances of you being born are at a crazy RNG rarity. Accounting you being a genetic anomaly that people will yearn and love which will probably give you meaning in this material world, those chances are near zero.

Nuclear warhead of the "TRVTH" variety.

See? You can oppose the world and that is fine. Carve your own path out of life, even if that means crossing the boundaries of the system in some way. As long as you're not doing illicit activities though, I don't condone and I DO NOT INCITE people to commit criminal activities (right, feds? :* I meant it more like, stop people pleasing).

Back to me not feeling anything, I really don’t know what can I do.I hop in cvcktok just to see 34 new dogma “niche” diets resurfacing and people monetizing off of each one. Id love to hop on and maybe try one of em, couldn’t care enough to do it. I really don’t care for anything it’s genuinely stupid. I’ve had my family put me in moments or positions so I can finally feel like my life is in risk or will get ruined if I don’t do something and my ass still doesn’t react or do anything. I wish i was worth something, or atleast have a purpose in this world.

See the problem is two-fold: on one hand, you are feeing your brain goyslop of the shittiest quality, for absolutely no reason at all, and getting mad at things you cannot control, wasting your precious time on these worthless (by your own admission) things. On the other hand, it is completely normal to not care even if you're put in "risk situations" or whatever, because you. did. not. CHOOSE. it.

A crucial part of what Kaczynski dubs the "need of the power process" is CHOOSING your own aims and working hard towards them. You are not choosing anything, rather, the goals are BEING IMPOSED on you. It is completely logical to feel that way, or I guess rather you do not feel anything at all about them if not a slight contempt and anxiety. Which is fine, and you can cure it by choosing an objective you want to pursue, and actually pursue it with your own time and effort.
I realize I may sound like a retard trying to bluepill you, but I assure you it is not my intent. If anything, this is the logical evolution of the blackpill into a whitepill. From passive receiver of the world, to active agent, remaining within the boundaries of determinism.

And delete that goyslop social media shit. It is not healthy for anyone. I have walked away years ago, now I am 20 and I regret nothing. Well, except being born undesirable by girls, that is.

Right now I’m in uni studying for Mechanical Engineering since it’s the only thing i could pick while being biased by family. If i could id rather not do anything in life and just rot away and let nature’s roots succumb throughout my body. Needless to say i think that I’m not cut out for it. This semester it’s only general studies classes because I couldn’t register the prerequisite classes that i needed before hand so i was stuck with others. I know for a fact next semester once I do actual STEM classes my mind will be raped. I genuinely cannot do any form of work. This summer will be beautiful cope enjoying the sea with my family. Family circle is the only thing i have really, other than that outside of it I’m all alone. The only reason i don’t pull the trigger is because of my mother swearing on her life on my last attempt that If i try to do this again she’ll kill herself aswell. I love her dearly so I’m not doing that. Going to be stuck with feeling emotionless with my life. One day we were talking she gave me a small hinder of thought from how she actually is. She was saying how since she was a kid she was very different from others, seeing stuff and whatnot. She didn’t disclose much because she believes it’s not right for her to share the information she knows based on what she’s “seen”. How she thinks life is that it’s reincarnation in itself. Your whole purpose is for your soul to experience everything, living life.She also believes you always will have the same family in its core, just different faces, and that life is revolved around energy and conduits and just spiritual alignments in itself, and that our current world had been succumbed by evil. Clarify that I don’t remember it well so don’t blame me for it.I think this is it, I don’t have much to rant on other than just me feeling that life had no purpose and i don’t even wanna live, id rather live my final days in s forest where i slowly starve and die, being with nature. I love nature and I wish i could just let go of everything and live a secluded life, but society doesn’t let that happen.

Sounds like your close family is imposing a lifestyle that you do not wish for on you, and then making the surprised pikachu face when you try to kill yourself. Mogs my family though, every time I told them I wanted to kill myself they just shrugged it off instead of asking me what was going on and doubt their own parenting. To this day they take 0 accountability for what they did, and I hope it is not like that for you.

If you don't like STEM, then don't follow Mech. Eng. It will kill your soul and drive you to suicide once more if you do. Instead, as I said, choose for yourself. Pursue your own goals. Compromise with your parents but never at your expenses or disadvantage.

I often think that those that want to kill themselves do so because they don't feel like they belong in the shitty reality they have been brought into. And it's fine. They wish for things to change and to be better, but find it impossible for it to happen and they feel like they have no agency whatsoever, which is true in almost all cases, due to physical constraints or a hostile environment that drives them to commit such an act. Again, I hope it is not that for you, and also I want to say you can probably find a lot of people whom you find relatable and who relate to you here. It is one of the, if not the last remaining, space where such crude and real discussions are permitted anymore in this scum we still persist on calling the "Internet", which has reached a point where it's just normie reality 2.0.

Take solace in your copes, take solace in the things that still manage to move you, be it nature, a good, meaningful song, or quality time with your family. The hedonists are wrong in my opinion, but they got one thing right: we're here for a limited amount of time, and ultimately, if you don't enjoy the show, there was no point in paying for the ticket from the outset.

If you came along all the way down here and actually read this whole rant, congrats i respect your dedication on hearing my thoughts.If you dnr the whole paragraph that’s great aswell, i don’t expect anyone to read this.I also hope maybe this can make some people feel seen or related. If not, that’s good aswell. Fun fact about this is that while laying on the backyard at night staring at the stars i was rehearsing this post in my head and then i thought about actually posting it. It isn’t as accurate as it was in my head, i had much more stuff i could have talked about but it’s 2AM and i got class tomorrow.Anyways thanks for reading and have a good night.

I hope you can find your peace and your place in this world where you belong. And I hope you drop more of your opinions/rants because they're quite interesting to read, especially coming from an 18 year old who seems to be much more aware than his peers (although still engages in that same behavior he finds repulsive for some reason O.O I guess the dopamine fried your circuits like it friend mine, huh, terrible shit bro I feel that).

 

[lurkingtourist]

This is indeed quite brutal for a 1st post, yes. Allow me to have a little conversation with you, though.

Life has no intrinsic meaning beyond reproduction. A dog is content with eating, playing, fucking. But since humans are not dogs, and we have something different in us (be it the "mind", the "spirit" or the "consciousness" or something else), man has given himself meanings and purposes since the dawn of time. Besides the mystical aspects, which are of no concern to me, religion is a meaning generator. Any religion, really. We've had those for 4000 years or something, but nowadays they don't cut it anymore. There is no hegemony of religion over culture anymore, or at least it's not explicit and not with the end goal of proselytizing and spreading the religion. Think of Friedrich Nietzsche's famous declaration that "God is dead!". It means that religion has stopped being THE central part of our lives.

Religion is a way for man to interface out into the world and connect with it, ever since the most archaic animistic cults. Some religions have Gods everywhere, some have only 1 God, some have a weird Triad thingy going on, but that is irrelevant here: Religions offer meaning, a purpose for life. Act morally and you'll receive a prize in the next life; act wickedly and you'll forever live in the absence of God, even in the afterlife; break the reincarnation cycle; and on and on.

Philosophy can also be a way to provide meaning (religion can be seen as a subset of philosophy, especially considering the ethics, teleology and metaphysics of it). Some philosophical currents, especially during times of social and personal crises can arise and give meaning: Cynicism, Epicureanism, Stoicism in the Hellenic world; German Idealism, Existentialism and its branches (Absurdism etc). Then of course, Nihilism denies that life possesses any meaning and denounces the futility of any action of man, depending on which current of nihilism is explored (active/passive for instance). The Italian Giacomo Leopardi, in his final years of production, set out a heroic meaning for our lives: "To ally together and combat nature" (I still shill for every incel to read up on his philosophy, as he was a literal truecel).

Unfortunately for you, you cannot go back from this realization. Now, the ball is on your court: accept the futility of it all, but go on anyways. Liberate yourself from the necessity for a meaning to be there.

Sounds like depression.

yep.

But don't expect me to sit here and act like a therapy faggot and be like "oh yeah wash the dishes and uhh clean your room" like that's gonna solve everything.

What you lack is a purpose to get up from bed in the morning. A real purpose, not some bullshit that tiktok therapists blather about.

Many find their purpose in their jobs, even if they hate it. That is because if they were to not do that, they'd find themselves in a boring life that has them trapped in a cycle of pain and mindless obedience that has destroyed their soul and left them with nothing when they eventually die.

If you have never done so, since you have considerations that clearly resemble mine when I was 15-16, I encourage you to read "Industrial Society and its Future" by Theodore John Kaczynski, a linear, axiomatic and logically pure text and "The obsolescence of the human, volume 1: On the soul in the age of the Second Industrial Revolution" by Gunther Anders, a heavier and longer text but written in a style that makes it more digestible. You sound a lot like a person that is maladjusted to this society; indeed, when a human cannot adjust to this shit fucking soyciety, he is blamed, called mad, and prescribed pharmaceuticals to numb him (SSRIs are evil) and force a square peg into a circle. It is insanity, yet the sheep has swallowed the pills and now we live amongst zombies.

It is all right, though. You are still salvageable. The first thing you need to do, is think, and come to the realization yourself that it is not you who is wrong for feeling any of what you wrote you feel, but it is the world, the society, that is wrong. We have evolved technologically at such a pace that has never been seen anywhere at any point in time. Yet, people have the courage to act like we are just supposed to adjust peacefully.


Therapy won't help you. Therapy is a crock of shit foids do to larp like they are able to solve other normies/foids larpers' larped out problems which don't exist outside of their larp. It is a theatre play, it really is.
What will help you is realizing that you're one of the few sane ones in this world of insane fucking people.


Here's the good news: you don't have to do that.
Here's the bad news: you'll feel an insurmountable amount of shame for going against the gradient.


Take me, as an example: chose to pursue higher education when my father (the oppressive bully archetype) wanted me to get a vocational job and get out of the house; chose an undergrad/major/whatever-you-call-it-in-your-country in mathematics when my father pushed for some type of engineering so I could have a high paying job (as if these days in my country lol). Why did I do those things? I don't know, to be fair. I didn't know why I wanted to go to a better secondary school, and I didn't know why I wanted to major in mathematics specifically. I had a pretty shitty childhood/teen age, bullied until high school where I just disappeared and dissociated through the 5 yrs, with some "friends" who I kept when entering university. Unfortunately, studying in university changed my mindset and while studying, I discovered my love for mathematics and logic. I also started to take more responsibility with myself: I stopped shaving and trimming my hair, because I thought it was hypocritical to declare my lack of care for looks while actively taking care of mine. A lot of people whom I thought were friends, and even my own family, were exposed for the superficial normies that they are, so I decided to cut off the "friends", some of whom I knew for basically my whole life.

Was it a hard choice to do? Totally. Did I falter? Not one bit.
Here is some food for thought: if nothing matters and everything is predetermined anyways, then why be scared of acting? It'll be what it was supposed to be. So just live with the freedom that this thought may confer.

I agree, normies and foids have ruined everything that was dear to me, first and foremost the internet. Even though I only got on it in 2018 and it was well past "ruined" status for many, I have witnessed a considerable enshittification since then. They have ruined otaku subcultures with their moralfagging and virtue signalling, they have ruined other geek/nerd subcultures, they have ruined university, reading, linguistics, any hobby I once had. Ruined by their stupid fucking performative state of being.

I have lost many friends because of it: people that went off the net, mass exodus due to the sheer stench that these intruders produced.

There was this blogger who almost 10 years ago if not even 11 or 12 made this article talking about how normies and so called "sociopaths" (defined as those that come into a culture solely to profit off of it) eventually infiltrate every space and kill it from the inside, or turn it into a watered down, aseptic version of itself.
Here it is https://meaningness.com/geeks-mops-sociopaths interesting read.

Life has to go on, somehow, some way. I'm not trying to be some niggER sheboon going all "id izzz wha id izzzzzz" but determinism quite literally does not spare anyone. The unrelenting march of time does not spare anyone. Time does not, in fact, heal all wounds, but you, the Agent, the Operator of the determined reality, do.

Or at least that is a small part of my vision of the world and the mind and things.

I do encourage you to seek out your own and never be afraid or get too complacent to try out or try to implement newer axioms into your belief system.

Either way, yes, you have the option to go against the gradient and impose your will on this sick society, even though you might have to take responsibility for the inevitable consequences that will follow, such as losing (supposed) friends and being less diplomatic with your family. But ultimately, if you don't impose your will, even as a tragic, heroic gesture of useless fight, then who even are you? Don't be a butterfly, trust me (reference for very few people).


Nuclear warhead of the "TRVTH" variety.

See? You can oppose the world and that is fine. Carve your own path out of life, even if that means crossing the boundaries of the system in some way. As long as you're not doing illicit activities though, I don't condone and I DO NOT INCITE people to commit criminal activities (right, feds? :* I meant it more like, stop people pleasing).


See the problem is two-fold: on one hand, you are feeing your brain goyslop of the shittiest quality, for absolutely no reason at all, and getting mad at things you cannot control, wasting your precious time on these worthless (by your own admission) things. On the other hand, it is completely normal to not care even if you're put in "risk situations" or whatever, because you. did. not. CHOOSE. it.

A crucial part of what Kaczynski dubs the "need of the power process" is CHOOSING your own aims and working hard towards them. You are not choosing anything, rather, the goals are BEING IMPOSED on you. It is completely logical to feel that way, or I guess rather you do not feel anything at all about them if not a slight contempt and anxiety. Which is fine, and you can cure it by choosing an objective you want to pursue, and actually pursue it with your own time and effort.
I realize I may sound like a retard trying to bluepill you, but I assure you it is not my intent. If anything, this is the logical evolution of the blackpill into a whitepill. From passive receiver of the world, to active agent, remaining within the boundaries of determinism.

And delete that goyslop social media shit. It is not healthy for anyone. I have walked away years ago, now I am 20 and I regret nothing. Well, except being born undesirable by girls, that is.


Sounds like your close family is imposing a lifestyle that you do not wish for on you, and then making the surprised pikachu face when you try to kill yourself. Mogs my family though, every time I told them I wanted to kill myself they just shrugged it off instead of asking me what was going on and doubt their own parenting. To this day they take 0 accountability for what they did, and I hope it is not like that for you.

If you don't like STEM, then don't follow Mech. Eng. It will kill your soul and drive you to suicide once more if you do. Instead, as I said, choose for yourself. Pursue your own goals. Compromise with your parents but never at your expenses or disadvantage.

I often think that those that want to kill themselves do so because they don't feel like they belong in the shitty reality they have been brought into. And it's fine. They wish for things to change and to be better, but find it impossible for it to happen and they feel like they have no agency whatsoever, which is true in almost all cases, due to physical constraints or a hostile environment that drives them to commit such an act. Again, I hope it is not that for you, and also I want to say you can probably find a lot of people whom you find relatable and who relate to you here. It is one of the, if not the last remaining, space where such crude and real discussions are permitted anymore in this scum we still persist on calling the "Internet", which has reached a point where it's just normie reality 2.0.

Take solace in your copes, take solace in the things that still manage to move you, be it nature, a good, meaningful song, or quality time with your family. The hedonists are wrong in my opinion, but they got one thing right: we're here for a limited amount of time, and ultimately, if you don't enjoy the show, there was no point in paying for the ticket from the outset.


I hope you can find your peace and your place in this world where you belong. And I hope you drop more of your opinions/rants because they're quite interesting to read, especially coming from an 18 year old who seems to be much more aware than his peers (although still engages in that same behavior he finds repulsive for some reason O.O I guess the dopamine fried your circuits like it friend mine, huh, terrible shit bro I feel that).

Thanks for the reply man, i’ll DNR this for now until I’m out of class and will reply once again.

 

[lurkingtourist]

This is indeed quite brutal for a 1st post, yes. Allow me to have a little conversation with you, though.


Life has no intrinsic meaning beyond reproduction. A dog is content with eating, playing, fucking. But since humans are not dogs, and we have something different in us (be it the "mind", the "spirit" or the "consciousness" or something else), man has given himself meanings and purposes since the dawn of time. Besides the mystical aspects, which are of no concern to me, religion is a meaning generator. Any religion, really. We've had those for 4000 years or something, but nowadays they don't cut it anymore. There is no hegemony of religion over culture anymore, or at least it's not explicit and not with the end goal of proselytizing and spreading the religion. Think of Friedrich Nietzsche's famous declaration that "God is dead!". It means that religion has stopped being THE central part of our lives.

Religion is a way for man to interface out into the world and connect with it, ever since the most archaic animistic cults. Some religions have Gods everywhere, some have only 1 God, some have a weird Triad thingy going on, but that is irrelevant here: Religions offer meaning, a purpose for life. Act morally and you'll receive a prize in the next life; act wickedly and you'll forever live in the absence of God, even in the afterlife; break the reincarnation cycle; and on and on.

Philosophy can also be a way to provide meaning (religion can be seen as a subset of philosophy, especially considering the ethics, teleology and metaphysics of it). Some philosophical currents, especially during times of social and personal crises can arise and give meaning: Cynicism, Epicureanism, Stoicism in the Hellenic world; German Idealism, Existentialism and its branches (Absurdism etc). Then of course, Nihilism denies that life possesses any meaning and denounces the futility of any action of man, depending on which current of nihilism is explored (active/passive for instance). The Italian Giacomo Leopardi, in his final years of production, set out a heroic meaning for our lives: "To ally together and combat nature" (I still shill for every incel to read up on his philosophy, as he was a literal truecel).

Unfortunately for you, you cannot go back from this realization. Now, the ball is on your court: accept the futility of it all, but go on anyways. Liberate yourself from the necessity for a meaning to be there.

Sounds like depression.

yep.

But don't expect me to sit here and act like a therapy faggot and be like "oh yeah wash the dishes and uhh clean your room" like that's gonna solve everything.

What you lack is a purpose to get up from bed in the morning. A real purpose, not some bullshit that tiktok therapists blather about.

Many find their purpose in their jobs, even if they hate it. That is because if they were to not do that, they'd find themselves in a boring life that has them trapped in a cycle of pain and mindless obedience that has destroyed their soul and left them with nothing when they eventually die.

If you have never done so, since you have considerations that clearly resemble mine when I was 15-16, I encourage you to read "Industrial Society and its Future" by Theodore John Kaczynski, a linear, axiomatic and logically pure text and "The obsolescence of the human, volume 1: On the soul in the age of the Second Industrial Revolution" by Gunther Anders, a heavier and longer text but written in a style that makes it more digestible. You sound a lot like a person that is maladjusted to this society; indeed, when a human cannot adjust to this shit fucking soyciety, he is blamed, called mad, and prescribed pharmaceuticals to numb him (SSRIs are evil) and force a square peg into a circle. It is insanity, yet the sheep has swallowed the pills and now we live amongst zombies.

It is all right, though. You are still salvageable. The first thing you need to do, is think, and come to the realization yourself that it is not you who is wrong for feeling any of what you wrote you feel, but it is the world, the society, that is wrong. We have evolved technologically at such a pace that has never been seen anywhere at any point in time. Yet, people have the courage to act like we are just supposed to adjust peacefully.


Therapy won't help you. Therapy is a crock of shit foids do to larp like they are able to solve other normies/foids larpers' larped out problems which don't exist outside of their larp. It is a theatre play, it really is.
What will help you is realizing that you're one of the few sane ones in this world of insane fucking people.


Here's the good news: you don't have to do that.
Here's the bad news: you'll feel an insurmountable amount of shame for going against the gradient.


Take me, as an example: chose to pursue higher education when my father (the oppressive bully archetype) wanted me to get a vocational job and get out of the house; chose an undergrad/major/whatever-you-call-it-in-your-country in mathematics when my father pushed for some type of engineering so I could have a high paying job (as if these days in my country lol). Why did I do those things? I don't know, to be fair. I didn't know why I wanted to go to a better secondary school, and I didn't know why I wanted to major in mathematics specifically. I had a pretty shitty childhood/teen age, bullied until high school where I just disappeared and dissociated through the 5 yrs, with some "friends" who I kept when entering university. Unfortunately, studying in university changed my mindset and while studying, I discovered my love for mathematics and logic. I also started to take more responsibility with myself: I stopped shaving and trimming my hair, because I thought it was hypocritical to declare my lack of care for looks while actively taking care of mine. A lot of people whom I thought were friends, and even my own family, were exposed for the superficial normies that they are, so I decided to cut off the "friends", some of whom I knew for basically my whole life.

Was it a hard choice to do? Totally. Did I falter? Not one bit.
Here is some food for thought: if nothing matters and everything is predetermined anyways, then why be scared of acting? It'll be what it was supposed to be. So just live with the freedom that this thought may confer.

I agree, normies and foids have ruined everything that was dear to me, first and foremost the internet. Even though I only got on it in 2018 and it was well past "ruined" status for many, I have witnessed a considerable enshittification since then. They have ruined otaku subcultures with their moralfagging and virtue signalling, they have ruined other geek/nerd subcultures, they have ruined university, reading, linguistics, any hobby I once had. Ruined by their stupid fucking performative state of being.

I have lost many friends because of it: people that went off the net, mass exodus due to the sheer stench that these intruders produced.

There was this blogger who almost 10 years ago if not even 11 or 12 made this article talking about how normies and so called "sociopaths" (defined as those that come into a culture solely to profit off of it) eventually infiltrate every space and kill it from the inside, or turn it into a watered down, aseptic version of itself.
Here it is https://meaningness.com/geeks-mops-sociopaths interesting read.

Life has to go on, somehow, some way. I'm not trying to be some niggER sheboon going all "id izzz wha id izzzzzz" but determinism quite literally does not spare anyone. The unrelenting march of time does not spare anyone. Time does not, in fact, heal all wounds, but you, the Agent, the Operator of the determined reality, do.

Or at least that is a small part of my vision of the world and the mind and things.

I do encourage you to seek out your own and never be afraid or get too complacent to try out or try to implement newer axioms into your belief system.

Either way, yes, you have the option to go against the gradient and impose your will on this sick society, even though you might have to take responsibility for the inevitable consequences that will follow, such as losing (supposed) friends and being less diplomatic with your family. But ultimately, if you don't impose your will, even as a tragic, heroic gesture of useless fight, then who even are you? Don't be a butterfly, trust me (reference for very few people).


Nuclear warhead of the "TRVTH" variety.

See? You can oppose the world and that is fine. Carve your own path out of life, even if that means crossing the boundaries of the system in some way. As long as you're not doing illicit activities though, I don't condone and I DO NOT INCITE people to commit criminal activities (right, feds? :* I meant it more like, stop people pleasing).


See the problem is two-fold: on one hand, you are feeing your brain goyslop of the shittiest quality, for absolutely no reason at all, and getting mad at things you cannot control, wasting your precious time on these worthless (by your own admission) things. On the other hand, it is completely normal to not care even if you're put in "risk situations" or whatever, because you. did. not. CHOOSE. it.

A crucial part of what Kaczynski dubs the "need of the power process" is CHOOSING your own aims and working hard towards them. You are not choosing anything, rather, the goals are BEING IMPOSED on you. It is completely logical to feel that way, or I guess rather you do not feel anything at all about them if not a slight contempt and anxiety. Which is fine, and you can cure it by choosing an objective you want to pursue, and actually pursue it with your own time and effort.
I realize I may sound like a retard trying to bluepill you, but I assure you it is not my intent. If anything, this is the logical evolution of the blackpill into a whitepill. From passive receiver of the world, to active agent, remaining within the boundaries of determinism.

And delete that goyslop social media shit. It is not healthy for anyone. I have walked away years ago, now I am 20 and I regret nothing. Well, except being born undesirable by girls, that is.


Sounds like your close family is imposing a lifestyle that you do not wish for on you, and then making the surprised pikachu face when you try to kill yourself. Mogs my family though, every time I told them I wanted to kill myself they just shrugged it off instead of asking me what was going on and doubt their own parenting. To this day they take 0 accountability for what they did, and I hope it is not like that for you.

If you don't like STEM, then don't follow Mech. Eng. It will kill your soul and drive you to suicide once more if you do. Instead, as I said, choose for yourself. Pursue your own goals. Compromise with your parents but never at your expenses or disadvantage.

I often think that those that want to kill themselves do so because they don't feel like they belong in the shitty reality they have been brought into. And it's fine. They wish for things to change and to be better, but find it impossible for it to happen and they feel like they have no agency whatsoever, which is true in almost all cases, due to physical constraints or a hostile environment that drives them to commit such an act. Again, I hope it is not that for you, and also I want to say you can probably find a lot of people whom you find relatable and who relate to you here. It is one of the, if not the last remaining, space where such crude and real discussions are permitted anymore in this scum we still persist on calling the "Internet", which has reached a point where it's just normie reality 2.0.

Take solace in your copes, take solace in the things that still manage to move you, be it nature, a good, meaningful song, or quality time with your family. The hedonists are wrong in my opinion, but they got one thing right: we're here for a limited amount of time, and ultimately, if you don't enjoy the show, there was no point in paying for the ticket from the outset.


I hope you can find your peace and your place in this world where you belong. And I hope you drop more of your opinions/rants because they're quite interesting to read, especially coming from an 18 year old who seems to be much more aware than his peers (although still engages in that same behavior he finds repulsive for some reason O.O I guess the dopamine fried your circuits like it friend mine, huh, terrible shit bro I feel that).

I really loved your thoughts and reply on my situation. To let you know why i engage in the same behaviors that i find repulsive is a very honest answer. I like the comfortity of it. My whole life the distractions I had around me kept me happy enough and my eyes closed so I wouldn’t have to be aware and come into a derealization of what of a worthless cog I am. Everytime I’m not distracted either by people or goyslop in general, my brain just goes into an overdrive of thoughts, it never stops talking nor thinking it makes me feel crazy and i just wish i could fully disconnect from this material world. The only time i feel a sense of “pleasure” is when i tuck myself in for sleep and I hope to sleep forever and never wake up from my slumber.About the authors and books you recommended me, i’ll be sure to read them and look into them.I generally love reading books, problem is my brain forgets the idea of having to read and gain more thoughtful knowledge so i stick to cvcktok and probably repost more vids than a whole country has ever watched on. My mother says I should delete my socials so I can connect more with the outside world and maybe I can feel different.She’s the only person who “gets” me in a sense. Plus my parents are atheists so they’ve told me a lot about how life actually is in general and how the elites operate with the cattle.They’re somehow tapped in but yeah. Religion can bring a sense of comfort to people and a path they can follow but not to me. I tried getting into Christianity once and I couldn’t for the life of me convince myself there is a God. If there is, he must be worse than the Devil himself.About my choosing of degree and you saying I should change it and see what i can do that i love, I wish i could do that.My problem is that I never had an idea or a thought of what i can do while loving it. I genuinely don’t have any dreams. When I became aware with life itself at 12 I stopped having fun with anything. COVID really hit on me and having to move places everytime finding a better place to live made it even worse. I’ve lost so many friends it’s crazy. When i started highschool i hardy did anything. Whatever i learned in highschool, came back out of my asshole.That’s why i feel like I can’t do anything or be able to succeed.Main reaosn i chose Engineering is because of money. My mom said once you finish university, you can make the money you want and have better opportunities into living the life you want. My ass is too scared i’ll mess up again. Even now I’m just ranting whatever the fuck my brain is producing. I wish this brain could do anything related to education other than just profusely thinking nonstop.Last thought of today since you were talking about letting go of socials and just friends in general. As of today i genuinely only have like 3 friends back in my home country, a girl i talk to from time to time, and two guys ive met online.That’s it. In uni it’s brutal to actually find people you feel relatable to and you will still have to be vigilant of the fact that people will double cross you over a nickel if it came to it.Sometimes i feel like i have no face, at least some people do.Whatever media i touch or try to build an idea off of it it just doesn’t work.I’m a genuine mess but yeah.My only hopefuel is that maybe till 25 once this fuckass lobe fully develops, maybe but just maybe i’ll realize my true purpose in this world and i’ll make it possible.As of right now i feel like I don’t even have a personality nor a face.Every word i utter feels false and fabricated, just to please the people around me.I feel like everything i think and say feels weird, not real.The freedom i crave is being a falcon.They’re such pristine beautiful creatures that fly and hover and divebomb so fast, they can go anywhere in the world, eat the food they want and aren’t shackled by the looms of fate. Being an animal feels more humane than being an actual human being.Sorry for not quoting the exact replies i was talking to, i don’t have the hang of this forum yet.Might rant again if i feel the need of it or just update on what I’m doing.Thanks again for your words, they really helped and gave me a decent point of view and clarification on my problems.I will check all the authors and the books you recommended,and will probably read this reply from time to time to remind myself of what I need to do, since my brain data resets every day for some reason. have a nice day and bhai

 

[tired as fuck]

The freedom i crave is being a falcon.They’re such pristine beautiful creatures that fly and hover and divebomb so fast, they can go anywhere in the world, eat the food they want and aren’t shackled by the looms of fate. Being an animal feels more humane than being an actual human being.

Falcons live by themselves, not in packs or societies. Make of that what you will

 

[DriveLikeNigger]

Not to downplay your struggles but you still have time and still are young.

Not it's genuinely over. Are his body and height getting better after 18?? What about his facial genes ?? It's pointless to hope past 18 for 80% of men, so it really is over for him.

 

[lurkingtourist]

Not it's genuinely over. Are his body and height getting better after 18?? What about his facial genes ?? It's pointless to hope past 18 for 80% of men, so it really is over for him.

It’s not my height or my body that’s the problem.I’m currently overweight, if i find enough motivation to lean out so I can feel more comfortable with my body in itself i probably will. Other than that I would say my face is low MTN. Barely above average.My problem is me being so out of touch with society I don’t even wanna form conversations with normies.

 

[lurkingtourist]

Falcons live by themselves, not in packs or societies. Make of that what you will

I shall dear fellow truecel, become a falcon of this wretched age.

 

[DriveLikeNigger]

It’s not my height or my body that’s the problem.I’m currently overweight, if i find enough motivation to lean out so I can feel more comfortable with my body in itself i probably will. Other than that I would say my face is low MTN. Barely above average.My problem is me being so out of touch with society I don’t even wanna form conversations with normies.

The same thing goes for social skills. Disconnected from society and your peers since a young age?? Impossible to relate or form connections with others for your life. Unless you can delete your past memories and start fresh, you're locked with low communication skills for the rest of your life.

 

[lurkingtourist]

The same thing goes for social skills. Disconnected from society and your peers since a young age?? Impossible to relate or form connections with others for your life. Unless you can delete your past memories and start fresh, you're locked with low communication skills for the rest of your life.

yeah brutal life in itself jfl, i’ll try my best to find something that’ll make me happy

 

[DriveLikeNigger]

yeah brutal life in itself jfl, i’ll try my best to find something that’ll make me happy

Find a hobby and stick to it. Learn to love your art and you'll learn to love yourself through it. Kinda worked for me

 

[lurkingtourist]

Find a hobby and stick to it. Learn to love your art and you'll learn to love yourself through it. Kinda worked for me

I hope i do, I got no sense of compass of whatever i like in life whatsoever.

 

[sirlancelot]

Read every word