Just had to get this off my chest. I know most of you probably don't care, but I'm in a pretty bad mood right now so sharing this with you guys makes me feel better, for some odd reason.
I still remember to this day. I don't like to think about it much. But I pretty much know it ruined me mentally forever. Some of you who know me know I was an active misogynist way before I became blackpilled, and have always been troubled.
This event made me hate women. I was always a happy child. I was kind to animals. I was nice to everyone. I felt empathy for everyone. I had many friends, and was popular as a kid. I would give half of my birthday money to homeless people. I loved animals. But after this event, I was never the same. It traumatized me. I was never the same after it. It turned me into the hateful shell that I am today. Something broke in me that day and ruined me mentally forever.
My family used to go to our grandfather's apartment building to go swimming because there was a pool in his building.
My mother, sister, and I always use to go swimming there... until this happened.
I was 11 years old and I would change in the woman's changing room with my mom and sister. One day after swimming, we were leaving and changing back into our clothes. Some crazy old lady (I still remember her. She was maybe 40-50 years old and Chinese) saw my penis when I was changing and started screaming and yelling at me and throwing things at me, I remember crying. My mom grabs me and we start to leave even though I haven't finished changing.
Then a female security guard comes with the woman who was screaming when we're in the lobby about to leave. My mom and sister start yelling back saying I'm only 11 years old and it's not safe for me to go in the men's changing room alone. The female security guard starts yelling at my family and grabs me by my arm, pulls me aside and says she's reporting this to the police and how I'm going to be going to prison and how I'm a predator and a bunch of other shit I don't even remember. Meanwhile I can hear my mom screaming in the lobby and crying.
She detains me alone in a room alone and takes my clothes off. I still remember how cold I was, and how the room smelled like old people. I'm sitting in there naked literally crying in a puddle of my own piss and scared out of my mind until the police arrive (building police, security,I have no idea) which feels like an eternity... it must have been at least 30 minutes sitting in that room.
A policeman or a male security guardfrom the apartment or building police officer (I don't know) comes and talks to me, saying I shouldn't use the woman's changing room and I'm too old to go in the changing room. I don't know what happens next, but I'm putting my clothes on and my family and I are leaving.
After this event, I was never the same. I started wetting my bed every night. I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming. I couldn't sleep alone anymore and started sleeping in the same bed as my mom and dad,
I started acting out in school. I talked back to the teachers. I threw tantrums in class. I hit other kids given the slightest provocation. I started catching colds and getting sick all the time, diarrhea, stuffy noses. I missed so much school and I couldn't focus in school anymore and my grades started slipping. I started being violent and cruel towards other people and animals (calm down I never killed any animal). We had to give our cat away because I started abusing it by locking it in rooms, restraining it so it couldn't move, throwing blankets over it and sitting on it. My parents started homeschooling me, which probably made things worse. I never interacted with other kids my age, I never joined any clubs. I stayed home most days, except when I'd sometimes go to the store with my mother and sister once or twice a month. And I would go to the gym sometimes with them too. I was probably home in my room at least 6 days a week. I turned to the computer to cope. My teen years were tormented. I was alone. Even when we went out I would not have an opportuntiy to interact with people. My only cope with my computer and video games.
Fast forward to today. I'm a University student. I don't know how to communicate with people. I have no friends. I'm probably not even autistic, but after living my entire youth in social isolation and enduring what I did, I'll never be the same.
I still remember to this day. I don't like to think about it much. But I pretty much know it ruined me mentally forever. Some of you who know me know I was an active misogynist way before I became blackpilled, and have always been troubled.
This event made me hate women. I was always a happy child. I was kind to animals. I was nice to everyone. I felt empathy for everyone. I had many friends, and was popular as a kid. I would give half of my birthday money to homeless people. I loved animals. But after this event, I was never the same. It traumatized me. I was never the same after it. It turned me into the hateful shell that I am today. Something broke in me that day and ruined me mentally forever.
My family used to go to our grandfather's apartment building to go swimming because there was a pool in his building.
My mother, sister, and I always use to go swimming there... until this happened.
I was 11 years old and I would change in the woman's changing room with my mom and sister. One day after swimming, we were leaving and changing back into our clothes. Some crazy old lady (I still remember her. She was maybe 40-50 years old and Chinese) saw my penis when I was changing and started screaming and yelling at me and throwing things at me, I remember crying. My mom grabs me and we start to leave even though I haven't finished changing.
Then a female security guard comes with the woman who was screaming when we're in the lobby about to leave. My mom and sister start yelling back saying I'm only 11 years old and it's not safe for me to go in the men's changing room alone. The female security guard starts yelling at my family and grabs me by my arm, pulls me aside and says she's reporting this to the police and how I'm going to be going to prison and how I'm a predator and a bunch of other shit I don't even remember. Meanwhile I can hear my mom screaming in the lobby and crying.
She detains me alone in a room alone and takes my clothes off. I still remember how cold I was, and how the room smelled like old people. I'm sitting in there naked literally crying in a puddle of my own piss and scared out of my mind until the police arrive (building police, security,I have no idea) which feels like an eternity... it must have been at least 30 minutes sitting in that room.
A policeman or a male security guardfrom the apartment or building police officer (I don't know) comes and talks to me, saying I shouldn't use the woman's changing room and I'm too old to go in the changing room. I don't know what happens next, but I'm putting my clothes on and my family and I are leaving.
After this event, I was never the same. I started wetting my bed every night. I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming. I couldn't sleep alone anymore and started sleeping in the same bed as my mom and dad,
I started acting out in school. I talked back to the teachers. I threw tantrums in class. I hit other kids given the slightest provocation. I started catching colds and getting sick all the time, diarrhea, stuffy noses. I missed so much school and I couldn't focus in school anymore and my grades started slipping. I started being violent and cruel towards other people and animals (calm down I never killed any animal). We had to give our cat away because I started abusing it by locking it in rooms, restraining it so it couldn't move, throwing blankets over it and sitting on it. My parents started homeschooling me, which probably made things worse. I never interacted with other kids my age, I never joined any clubs. I stayed home most days, except when I'd sometimes go to the store with my mother and sister once or twice a month. And I would go to the gym sometimes with them too. I was probably home in my room at least 6 days a week. I turned to the computer to cope. My teen years were tormented. I was alone. Even when we went out I would not have an opportuntiy to interact with people. My only cope with my computer and video games.
Fast forward to today. I'm a University student. I don't know how to communicate with people. I have no friends. I'm probably not even autistic, but after living my entire youth in social isolation and enduring what I did, I'll never be the same.
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