uo89997
Luminary
★★★★★
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2021
- Posts
- 10,006
Women, people of color and members of the LGBT community face harmful stereotypes everyday.
I mean think about it for a second – we are all in the closet.
We understand that we cannot openly proclaim to society that we are involuntary celibate due to intense negative stereotypes surrounding male virginity.
This confines us to secrecy through our online communities while the rest of society stays convinced that our struggle is not something to be taken seriously; incel fragility as Robin DeAngelo might have called it.
The only way we can start to change some of these harmful stereotypes is if we start to challenge them, is if we ourselves start to break free from them; so let's start now.
1. Incels are not physically healthy
One of the highest upvoted posts on incelphobic subreddit r/IncelTear is a quote mocking incels:
"'feminism is a cancer' he typed, vaping and chugging mountain dew 'it's killing us men.' The microwave dinged, his taquitos were ready."
How is harmful stereotyping like this, stereotyping all incels as unhealthy, any different from stereotyping women with an above average bodyweight as unhealthy and unattractive?
In my opinion, it isn't; this is blatant body-shaming towards men.
Ideas like this are why larger women have historically never appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Ideas like this are why a woman with down-syndrome was historically barred from being a Victoria's Secret model.
By calling incels fat and unhealthy and using that to discriminate against us, the critic lowers themselves to the level of those who fat shame.
And the idea that all incels are fat is simply not true.
Speaking from personal experience, I am of a normal weight; I am relatively fit and I have been for the entirety of my life.
2. All Incels Are White
If feminists spent more time truly understanding and talking to male virgins, I think what they might be surprised to find is that a lot of involuntary celibates are from ethnic minority groups and are living in a white dominated society (i.e. the West).
Now, this doesn't mean that no incels are white or even that the majority of incels are not white.
It does mean, however, that there exists a large portion of incels who are people of color.
I find that interesting.
While feminists and racial activists claim to be championing racial rights they simultaneously discriminate against incels.
What they might not be realizing is that this could be inadvertent racism since so many incels are of a minority race.
In fact, personally, I myself am not white; I am also part of a minority group.
3. All Incels are unhappy
Another harmful stereotype is that all involuntary celibates need saving; that the only solution to our problem is to find a relationship or to get laid.
Interestingly, this stereotype, while certainly propogated by feminists, is mostly due to us.
By constantly complaining about how much it sucks that we're not getting sex, we come across as whiny and short-sighted which deters others from taking our issues seriously.
This leads to further unhappiness for us which leads to more depressing posts and a continuing cycle.
I think in the coming years we will begin to see a larger and larger group of incels who are content with their celibate lifestyles.
Why?
The alternative, marriage or a relationship, will be worse for the young man than simply staying celibate.
Reasons for this include a) laws that succeed at protecting women but inadvertently discriminate against men and b) the increased complexity in maintaining a relationship exacerbated by technologies such as artificial intelligence and the metaverse.
The end result is an incel community consisting of some incels who choose to stay celibate; a swing towards voluntary celibacy.
Personally, I would consider myself an incel turned volcel. I was forced to become an involuntary celibate due to factors outside of my control but have since chosen to isolate myself from society; my true views are no longer accepted outside of this forum.
4. All Incels think the same
Another harmful stereotype is that incels are uniform in their thought due to their shared virginity. That all incels are patriarchal and hate women; that they do not want co-operation with the other sex.
Patriarchal society, just as it has done to women, has been discriminatory against incels in the past and is currently discriminating against incels in the present.
In a patriarchal society, men with disabilities, mental illness, colored pigmentation and shorter height are all discriminated against (qualities common amongst many involuntary celibates).
This is why I wrote my post The Patriarchy is the true reason we are incels, not women explaining how the patriarchy effects us.
Now, while this post did receive a lot of backlash from peers of mine who truly do believe in a patriarchal society (one where women should be subservient to men), it also received a lot of praise from incels who think differently.
As @based_meme states, "Yes, this is a point that has seldom been brought up around here. It's true that women only have power because men in power gave it to them. Most users here think women are to blame for society's problems when the reality is that they've been enabled and allowed to act the way they do."
5. Male virginity is embarrassing
As I mentioned at the top of my post, we are all still in the closet as incels; we are all still in hiding.
This is solely due to societal standards surrounding male virginity.
If society truly respected everyone, regardless of their past sexual experience, more and more incels would feel comfortable discussing their issues publicly and we would be able to openly confront the incel problem.
But society doesn't respect everyone.
Virginity in males is commonly viewed as embarrassing and a defect whereas virginity in females is viewed as holy and sanctimonious.
This is actually the inverse of a flawed type of thinking that feminists love to criticize: slut shaming.
While society shames male virgins they praise males who are able to obtain sex with many women (player, pimp, hustler). On the opposite side, praise for female virginity leads to shame for females who have too much sex (slut, whore, hussy).
So doesn't it follow that if you support a woman's right to sleep with whoever she pleases you should also support a man's right not to?
That male virginity shouldn't be something to be ashamed about but instead should be something that doesn't matter?
I certainly think so.
What about you?
- All women should stay in the kitchen
- All black men are violent
- All Gay men are soft
- All gender non-conforming people are schizophrenic
I mean think about it for a second – we are all in the closet.
We understand that we cannot openly proclaim to society that we are involuntary celibate due to intense negative stereotypes surrounding male virginity.
This confines us to secrecy through our online communities while the rest of society stays convinced that our struggle is not something to be taken seriously; incel fragility as Robin DeAngelo might have called it.
The only way we can start to change some of these harmful stereotypes is if we start to challenge them, is if we ourselves start to break free from them; so let's start now.
1. Incels are not physically healthy
One of the highest upvoted posts on incelphobic subreddit r/IncelTear is a quote mocking incels:
"'feminism is a cancer' he typed, vaping and chugging mountain dew 'it's killing us men.' The microwave dinged, his taquitos were ready."
How is harmful stereotyping like this, stereotyping all incels as unhealthy, any different from stereotyping women with an above average bodyweight as unhealthy and unattractive?
In my opinion, it isn't; this is blatant body-shaming towards men.
Ideas like this are why larger women have historically never appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Ideas like this are why a woman with down-syndrome was historically barred from being a Victoria's Secret model.
By calling incels fat and unhealthy and using that to discriminate against us, the critic lowers themselves to the level of those who fat shame.
And the idea that all incels are fat is simply not true.
Speaking from personal experience, I am of a normal weight; I am relatively fit and I have been for the entirety of my life.
2. All Incels Are White
If feminists spent more time truly understanding and talking to male virgins, I think what they might be surprised to find is that a lot of involuntary celibates are from ethnic minority groups and are living in a white dominated society (i.e. the West).
Now, this doesn't mean that no incels are white or even that the majority of incels are not white.
It does mean, however, that there exists a large portion of incels who are people of color.
I find that interesting.
While feminists and racial activists claim to be championing racial rights they simultaneously discriminate against incels.
What they might not be realizing is that this could be inadvertent racism since so many incels are of a minority race.
In fact, personally, I myself am not white; I am also part of a minority group.
3. All Incels are unhappy
Another harmful stereotype is that all involuntary celibates need saving; that the only solution to our problem is to find a relationship or to get laid.
Interestingly, this stereotype, while certainly propogated by feminists, is mostly due to us.
By constantly complaining about how much it sucks that we're not getting sex, we come across as whiny and short-sighted which deters others from taking our issues seriously.
This leads to further unhappiness for us which leads to more depressing posts and a continuing cycle.
I think in the coming years we will begin to see a larger and larger group of incels who are content with their celibate lifestyles.
Why?
The alternative, marriage or a relationship, will be worse for the young man than simply staying celibate.
Reasons for this include a) laws that succeed at protecting women but inadvertently discriminate against men and b) the increased complexity in maintaining a relationship exacerbated by technologies such as artificial intelligence and the metaverse.
The end result is an incel community consisting of some incels who choose to stay celibate; a swing towards voluntary celibacy.
Personally, I would consider myself an incel turned volcel. I was forced to become an involuntary celibate due to factors outside of my control but have since chosen to isolate myself from society; my true views are no longer accepted outside of this forum.
4. All Incels think the same
Another harmful stereotype is that incels are uniform in their thought due to their shared virginity. That all incels are patriarchal and hate women; that they do not want co-operation with the other sex.
Patriarchal society, just as it has done to women, has been discriminatory against incels in the past and is currently discriminating against incels in the present.
In a patriarchal society, men with disabilities, mental illness, colored pigmentation and shorter height are all discriminated against (qualities common amongst many involuntary celibates).
This is why I wrote my post The Patriarchy is the true reason we are incels, not women explaining how the patriarchy effects us.
Now, while this post did receive a lot of backlash from peers of mine who truly do believe in a patriarchal society (one where women should be subservient to men), it also received a lot of praise from incels who think differently.
As @based_meme states, "Yes, this is a point that has seldom been brought up around here. It's true that women only have power because men in power gave it to them. Most users here think women are to blame for society's problems when the reality is that they've been enabled and allowed to act the way they do."
5. Male virginity is embarrassing
As I mentioned at the top of my post, we are all still in the closet as incels; we are all still in hiding.
This is solely due to societal standards surrounding male virginity.
If society truly respected everyone, regardless of their past sexual experience, more and more incels would feel comfortable discussing their issues publicly and we would be able to openly confront the incel problem.
But society doesn't respect everyone.
Virginity in males is commonly viewed as embarrassing and a defect whereas virginity in females is viewed as holy and sanctimonious.
This is actually the inverse of a flawed type of thinking that feminists love to criticize: slut shaming.
While society shames male virgins they praise males who are able to obtain sex with many women (player, pimp, hustler). On the opposite side, praise for female virginity leads to shame for females who have too much sex (slut, whore, hussy).
So doesn't it follow that if you support a woman's right to sleep with whoever she pleases you should also support a man's right not to?
That male virginity shouldn't be something to be ashamed about but instead should be something that doesn't matter?
I certainly think so.
What about you?
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