I kissed an attractive female (6.5/10)
I was friends with her for like 3 months and was super nice to her, provided her with emotional support and helped her in studies (we shared 2 subjects in a particular semester at uni). Eventually i had the balls to make a move on her and ask her if i could kiss her, she hesitated but then we kissed (i guess i guilt-tripped her into kissing me, by making her feel bad for using me for emotional support, study help etc without giving anything back in return).
Then after 5 seconds, she pulled out of the kiss. She suddenly became sad and quiet, wouldnt even look at me in the eye. She was clearly in a state of shock, disgusted at herself for what she just did. At that point, I realised that I must be really ugly to evoke such a reaction in a woman, (not a reaction of simple regret but one of actual disgust and shock). We walked back to her bus-stop which was like 10 mins away. During that time, an awkward silence followed. I'd try to break the silence by asking her a question or making a comment, in response to which she gave an unenthusiastic and quiet 1 or 2 word reply.
That's when i realised that looks are everything when it comes to sexual attraction. I stopped following bluepilled advice of having good personality, confidence, being nice to women etc. and had no choice but to swallow the blackpill. I accepted that it was well and truly over for me. Looking back, I'd rather be kissless than to get a 5 second kiss from a foid who only did so out of guilt, and who ended up feeling so repulsed that her reaction alone made me succumb to heavy depression for 3 months.