Ill just do cult brainwashing on myself to believe that when i kill myself ill get to live in some higher realm like heaven. Ill fully convince myself that life is an illusion, a game where the only goal is to realize this and kill yourself.
I will comb through my memories and associate every time i thought of suicide with coming close to beating the game but missing it by an inch. The urge to finally act it out will be irresistible.
My brain will accept it once i extinguish every other cope, once i convince my brain there is no solution to my life it will accept this fantasy as its only way out. I will believe it 100%
It will also be very easy to justify my suicide to my family. When i film a video as my last goodbye they will see the genuine joy and sincerity in my eyes as i tell them im doing better in 5D. They will think i went shizo and fell into some internet suicide cult but thats better than them knowing i killed myself because i couldnt get pussy and ruined my life through ldar.
Ultimately this idea is now my actual god. Even if i dont believe in its contents just its existence is my savior, i will do everything in my power to make it kill me
I will comb through my memories and associate every time i thought of suicide with coming close to beating the game but missing it by an inch. The urge to finally act it out will be irresistible.
My brain will accept it once i extinguish every other cope, once i convince my brain there is no solution to my life it will accept this fantasy as its only way out. I will believe it 100%
It will also be very easy to justify my suicide to my family. When i film a video as my last goodbye they will see the genuine joy and sincerity in my eyes as i tell them im doing better in 5D. They will think i went shizo and fell into some internet suicide cult but thats better than them knowing i killed myself because i couldnt get pussy and ruined my life through ldar.
Ultimately this idea is now my actual god. Even if i dont believe in its contents just its existence is my savior, i will do everything in my power to make it kill me
