When dawn arises, thou must opt for the passway of thy cope by morrow, for which, if thou hast found none, hellfire shall pay.
No one prefers to be here, it’s all for coping. This is actually just coping at its severest level, just making an account here is already an evidently desperate sign of crying for help. The point of no return. I’m severely isolated and have no one to talk to and most likely won’t find one either as I had no such luck during college so I chose to cope by “socializing” in here. Lately I’ve been thinking, I’m not really enjoying myself nor feeling any better when I’m here, so what’s the point? Why am I so torn between leaving then?
Well it’s more or less just for one reason. The incel community has always been one of the only places where I feel sincerely alive when I’m in it. It’s one of the very few communities that’s kinda ‘real’ to me in a sense that I’m not tangled in an artificial reality digested by the public. It’s always been doing a fine job at giving me a melancholy sense of belonging that I truly find nowhere else and I think it’s concretely because of colossal solitude, severely traumatic childhood including sexual abuse, lots and lots of bullying and obviously the fact that I’m ugly and undesirable; making it practically impossible for me to relate with other people in the more “normie” infested communities. You can’t construct a relationship when you can’t relate to anyone.
I think the pros of being here might definitely outweigh the cons in some meaninglessly empty way but still, it’s pointless. It’s not a healthy way of coping. Browsing here is not what one should spend their free time on. I have far better ways to cope but I chose this instead purely because none of those propose a way for me to socialize. All the others do their best of constantly reminding me of my loneliness.
No one prefers to be here, it’s all for coping. This is actually just coping at its severest level, just making an account here is already an evidently desperate sign of crying for help. The point of no return. I’m severely isolated and have no one to talk to and most likely won’t find one either as I had no such luck during college so I chose to cope by “socializing” in here. Lately I’ve been thinking, I’m not really enjoying myself nor feeling any better when I’m here, so what’s the point? Why am I so torn between leaving then?
Well it’s more or less just for one reason. The incel community has always been one of the only places where I feel sincerely alive when I’m in it. It’s one of the very few communities that’s kinda ‘real’ to me in a sense that I’m not tangled in an artificial reality digested by the public. It’s always been doing a fine job at giving me a melancholy sense of belonging that I truly find nowhere else and I think it’s concretely because of colossal solitude, severely traumatic childhood including sexual abuse, lots and lots of bullying and obviously the fact that I’m ugly and undesirable; making it practically impossible for me to relate with other people in the more “normie” infested communities. You can’t construct a relationship when you can’t relate to anyone.
I think the pros of being here might definitely outweigh the cons in some meaninglessly empty way but still, it’s pointless. It’s not a healthy way of coping. Browsing here is not what one should spend their free time on. I have far better ways to cope but I chose this instead purely because none of those propose a way for me to socialize. All the others do their best of constantly reminding me of my loneliness.
