I may not be that dark figure you see online, I may take my frustrations out here, But deep inside my mind and body i am a hurting individual, It started with being bullied for my looks in school, I had what was called a gigantic nose, and a very big face due to bloating and nutrition deficiency, I wasnt normal looking like the others so i was an easy target, This still haunts me to this day, I tried numerous schools but i could just not make any friends or keep them long as i became a scapegoat for theyre laugher, I just broke down and said to myself rn were all gonna make it, But i know alot of us wont, I am 23 and ive been trying for years to just join things, Nothing works
i tried joining a new school in 2015 as a mechanic junior, I was a target there too, I just cant catch a break, I pushed on and finished college alone, I saw others with normal looks having a girlfriend, But me, This bloated autistic man with adhd, I tried correcting and changing my attitude, Being more nice, Or just being more cool, I never put anyone down either, At 16 i began working and at 21 i quit ive had enough, I got on welfare and became a so called NEET, Not because i wanted to but i saw no more joy and positivity in being a member of a society that did not want me, I had completed 2 schools, College 3 schools, And now worked around 7+ years, I pushed so hard to become a member of society, At 19 i fell prey to the blackpill and i just cant seem to shake it off, it was hard making connections too as i was always pushed away, At a school trip out of country, MY BEST FRIEND at the current time, I made another trucel looking friend, Told me i was the ugliest thing hes ever seen, He was pissy the whole trip and wouldnt even look at me even tho we shared a room, I never found out why he did this and later he ascended with a woman in another country, Ive done everything right up until now and i still cant fathom why everything has crumbled, I edited my attitude, My personality, Tried to look my best, Gave it my all, Eventually i just couldnt take it anymore and ive been isolating myself since 2021 when i lost my job to agoraphobia from all the trauma i meet outside, I keep telling myself every day, Get the fuck up and do something with yourself, This isnt you, But at the same time it is me, I am this body, No one likes this body, What is with me that is so bad? Why cant someone look past my looks for once, We humans have a biological need to live toghether in our human tribe but our tribe isnt there anymore and society is slowly or rapidly progressing becoming more, There isnt much more mystery to the world anymore, Everyone is on theyre phones and i feel completely isolated, I tried everything in my power but it was never enough.
What worth is my life living if i have to spend it alone.
I dont want to be a hateful incel but im afraid this is the only community that hasnt really removed me from its precinct.
Its over!
i tried joining a new school in 2015 as a mechanic junior, I was a target there too, I just cant catch a break, I pushed on and finished college alone, I saw others with normal looks having a girlfriend, But me, This bloated autistic man with adhd, I tried correcting and changing my attitude, Being more nice, Or just being more cool, I never put anyone down either, At 16 i began working and at 21 i quit ive had enough, I got on welfare and became a so called NEET, Not because i wanted to but i saw no more joy and positivity in being a member of a society that did not want me, I had completed 2 schools, College 3 schools, And now worked around 7+ years, I pushed so hard to become a member of society, At 19 i fell prey to the blackpill and i just cant seem to shake it off, it was hard making connections too as i was always pushed away, At a school trip out of country, MY BEST FRIEND at the current time, I made another trucel looking friend, Told me i was the ugliest thing hes ever seen, He was pissy the whole trip and wouldnt even look at me even tho we shared a room, I never found out why he did this and later he ascended with a woman in another country, Ive done everything right up until now and i still cant fathom why everything has crumbled, I edited my attitude, My personality, Tried to look my best, Gave it my all, Eventually i just couldnt take it anymore and ive been isolating myself since 2021 when i lost my job to agoraphobia from all the trauma i meet outside, I keep telling myself every day, Get the fuck up and do something with yourself, This isnt you, But at the same time it is me, I am this body, No one likes this body, What is with me that is so bad? Why cant someone look past my looks for once, We humans have a biological need to live toghether in our human tribe but our tribe isnt there anymore and society is slowly or rapidly progressing becoming more, There isnt much more mystery to the world anymore, Everyone is on theyre phones and i feel completely isolated, I tried everything in my power but it was never enough.
What worth is my life living if i have to spend it alone.
I dont want to be a hateful incel but im afraid this is the only community that hasnt really removed me from its precinct.
Its over!
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