LivingAbortion
Recruit
★★
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2018
- Posts
- 171
It's nearly 6:30 in the morning. I planned on going to sleep, but did not. I've no job and nothing to do, so it doesn't matter what time I wake up tomorrow. I'm in my mid-30s, when a man should be making the best money of his life, yet here I am sitting here in an almost trance-like state of sheer emptiness. What is the point of all this? I think about 15 year old guys who have kissed a girl and I ask myself if they realize how lucky they truly are. I'll be fucking 40 in a few years, and the only "action" I've ever gotten is some idiot nurse shoving a catheter up my dick. (Long story) Nearly took her head off when I kicked her.
This. Fucking. Sucks. Ass.
I literally feel NOTHING right now. And you'll likely experience this feeling some day too, if things don't change for you. Let me warn you: you'll have to have balls of fucking steel to make it through this. Every day I consider blowing a hole in my head. It's not so much depression anymore as it is sheer boredom and meaninglessness.
And yet the bullies I went to school with are all probably waking up next to their wives right about now, getting ready for that morning coffee before they go to their jobs. Of course, they'll say "bye" to the kids and the pets before they go. Not one of them will think about how the way they treated me fucked me up for life. But still, I don't hate them. Not right now. Right now is just emptiness. Life is meaningless bullshit.
This. Fucking. Sucks. Ass.
I literally feel NOTHING right now. And you'll likely experience this feeling some day too, if things don't change for you. Let me warn you: you'll have to have balls of fucking steel to make it through this. Every day I consider blowing a hole in my head. It's not so much depression anymore as it is sheer boredom and meaninglessness.
And yet the bullies I went to school with are all probably waking up next to their wives right about now, getting ready for that morning coffee before they go to their jobs. Of course, they'll say "bye" to the kids and the pets before they go. Not one of them will think about how the way they treated me fucked me up for life. But still, I don't hate them. Not right now. Right now is just emptiness. Life is meaningless bullshit.