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Venting Words can't describe the level of emptiness I feel

LivingAbortion

LivingAbortion

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It's nearly 6:30 in the morning. I planned on going to sleep, but did not. I've no job and nothing to do, so it doesn't matter what time I wake up tomorrow. I'm in my mid-30s, when a man should be making the best money of his life, yet here I am sitting here in an almost trance-like state of sheer emptiness. What is the point of all this? I think about 15 year old guys who have kissed a girl and I ask myself if they realize how lucky they truly are. I'll be fucking 40 in a few years, and the only "action" I've ever gotten is some idiot nurse shoving a catheter up my dick. (Long story) Nearly took her head off when I kicked her.

This. Fucking. Sucks. Ass.

I literally feel NOTHING right now. And you'll likely experience this feeling some day too, if things don't change for you. Let me warn you: you'll have to have balls of fucking steel to make it through this. Every day I consider blowing a hole in my head. It's not so much depression anymore as it is sheer boredom and meaninglessness.

And yet the bullies I went to school with are all probably waking up next to their wives right about now, getting ready for that morning coffee before they go to their jobs. Of course, they'll say "bye" to the kids and the pets before they go. Not one of them will think about how the way they treated me fucked me up for life. But still, I don't hate them. Not right now. Right now is just emptiness. Life is meaningless bullshit.
 
I hope i kill myself before reaching that point... Good luck, bro.
 
i've planned to end it before i reach 30 there's no way i can go into my 30's without my family and relatives attacking me for not having children or not making 100k a year it's already bad enough that they make fun of me for not going to a lower ranking uni for engineering,. fuck that i feel sorry for you man i know it means nothing but all i can say is cope until you rope.
 
Tell about the catheter up your dick.
 
1482097017632
 
Tell about the catheter up your dick.
When I was about 15 or 16 I had a wet dream, didn't know what it was (poorfag with no internet) and so I held it in and went back to sleep. Woke up and I think the cum had sealed my urethra shut. Couldnt piss for like 2 days, so I finally told my dad and he took me to the hospital. I had to have my bladder drained with a catheter. Truly a nightmarish experience. I honestly don't know how I'm fucking still alive.

Oh but about the nurse, she was young and didn't know what she was doing. She shoved it in too hard. I'd rather not go into any further detail than that.
 
Without women you cannot have a fulffiling life since you are lacking an essential part of your biology-sexual intimacy
 
I'm sorry, brother. No words I write can empathize with the pain you must feel for being incel into your late 30s.

This is it. If you don't lose it by your early 40s, it is truly over for you.
 
When I was about 15 or 16 I had a wet dream, didn't know what it was (poorfag with no internet) and so I held it in and went back to sleep. Woke up and I think the cum had sealed my urethra shut. Couldnt piss for like 2 days, so I finally told my dad and he took me to the hospital. I had to have my bladder drained with a catheter. Truly a nightmarish experience. I honestly don't know how I'm fucking still alive.

Oh but about the nurse, she was young and didn't know what she was doing. She shoved it in too hard. I'd rather not go into any further detail than that.
That is terrible. Of course the one who doesn't know how to properly do anything was assigned to you.
 
I don’t think I can make it past 30 If life continues like this, salute to you for holding strong.
 
When I was about 15 or 16 I had a wet dream, didn't know what it was (poorfag with no internet) and so I held it in and went back to sleep. Woke up and I think the cum had sealed my urethra shut. Couldnt piss for like 2 days, so I finally told my dad and he took me to the hospital. I had to have my bladder drained with a catheter. Truly a nightmarish experience. I honestly don't know how I'm fucking still alive.

Oh but about the nurse, she was young and didn't know what she was doing. She shoved it in too hard. I'd rather not go into any further detail than that.
Fuarrrrrkkkk.
 
What are your stats?

Tell us more about yourself.
 
Oh but about the nurse, she was young and didn't know what she was doing. She shoved it in too hard. I'd rather not go into any further detail than that.
I'm jealous, except the "too hard" part. Was she decent looking at least?
 
It's nearly 6:30 in the morning. I planned on going to sleep, but did not. I've no job and nothing to do, so it doesn't matter what time I wake up tomorrow. I'm in my mid-30s, when a man should be making the best money of his life, yet here I am sitting here in an almost trance-like state of sheer emptiness. What is the point of all this? I think about 15 year old guys who have kissed a girl and I ask myself if they realize how lucky they truly are. I'll be fucking 40 in a few years, and the only "action" I've ever gotten is some idiot nurse shoving a catheter up my dick. (Long story) Nearly took her head off when I kicked her.

This. Fucking. Sucks. Ass.

I literally feel NOTHING right now. And you'll likely experience this feeling some day too, if things don't change for you. Let me warn you: you'll have to have balls of fucking steel to make it through this. Every day I consider blowing a hole in my head. It's not so much depression anymore as it is sheer boredom and meaninglessness.

And yet the bullies I went to school with are all probably waking up next to their wives right about now, getting ready for that morning coffee before they go to their jobs. Of course, they'll say "bye" to the kids and the pets before they go. Not one of them will think about how the way they treated me fucked me up for life. But still, I don't hate them. Not right now. Right now is just emptiness. Life is meaningless bullshit.
You should try getting a pet like a cat or dog. It's just a cope but it helps a little it's better than nothing.
 
I don't will never kill myself, i can't bring myself to end my own life by my own hands knowing a bunch of faggots will rejoice in my death or exploit such suicidal act for the sake of their shitty corporations and organizations or for virtue signaling cocksuckers to lament my death in order to make themselves look righteous.
 
What are your stats?

Tell us more about yourself.
What are your stats?

Tell us more about yourself.

I don't know all the lingo so I don't know what you mean by "stats." I only found this site because someone mentioned it on a pro-suicide chatroom somewhere. As for myself, I'm a nihilist and misanthrope because that's what modern American society decided it wanted me to be. I am incapable of feeling anything but boredom and anger at this point and I'm just waiting to die. I gave up on trying to be normal at around age 20. My memory is starting to fail.
 
You should try getting a pet like a cat or dog. It's just a cope but it helps a little it's better than nothing.
I'm being supported by my dad at the moment and he won't let me have a dog. I'd probably end up eventually raping it anyway and I don't want to end up being one of those people because I hate them and I'd be a hypocrite.
 

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