R
Rassimov
Banned
-
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2018
- Posts
- 1,490
“I am often accused of hating men, I am what might be considered rigorously and aggressively heterosexual so I am drawn to men forcefully and frequently. There have been countless times when I have been positively intoxicated by toxic masculinity. I fell in love with a man whose deep voice and substantial height were complemented by a possessiveness that looked like care and a habit of infidelity that I excused as sexual potency. He made me feel safe not because he was gentle but because I knew he was capable of violence and cruelty that I was confident he would never direct at me.”
"I was naïve to think that he would react with anything but the same cruel impulses and violent fantasies I had seen him direct at others [...] He said how much he’d like to hear the sound of my bones crushed under a subway train. He told me I was decent on the outside, ugly on the inside, but that I’d look beautiful with a bullet in my head."
"[...] in nearly every tirade or message he called me a whore, a word that was more than just disparaging shorthand for my job as a stripper. I had once cut a particularly intense sexual encounter short when he called me his whore during roleplay and then explained the particular poison of the word in a world so hostile to women that it might accurately describe."
"He said he would find me. All 6'3" inches and 220 pounds of him was trying to find all 5'2" and 108 pounds of me. I went halfway through the nightmare of seeking an order of protection only to give up when I didn’t know his address because I only knew his apartment by sight after a year of spending time there. I felt numb to anything but the aftershocks of my own resistance to his lies and was certain he had destroyed anything good left in me."
- ALANA MASSEY, All the Lives I Want
"I was naïve to think that he would react with anything but the same cruel impulses and violent fantasies I had seen him direct at others [...] He said how much he’d like to hear the sound of my bones crushed under a subway train. He told me I was decent on the outside, ugly on the inside, but that I’d look beautiful with a bullet in my head."
"[...] in nearly every tirade or message he called me a whore, a word that was more than just disparaging shorthand for my job as a stripper. I had once cut a particularly intense sexual encounter short when he called me his whore during roleplay and then explained the particular poison of the word in a world so hostile to women that it might accurately describe."
"He said he would find me. All 6'3" inches and 220 pounds of him was trying to find all 5'2" and 108 pounds of me. I went halfway through the nightmare of seeking an order of protection only to give up when I didn’t know his address because I only knew his apartment by sight after a year of spending time there. I felt numb to anything but the aftershocks of my own resistance to his lies and was certain he had destroyed anything good left in me."
- ALANA MASSEY, All the Lives I Want
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