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Why is this the case?

Because they are portraying an expected persona to the world. It's not really being nice as it's portraying an image.

Of course it's different in private with people they know and are able to abuse freely.
 
Because they are portraying an expected persona to the world. It's not really being nice as it's portraying an image.

Of course it's different in private with people they know and are able to abuse freely.
 
Because there's no social reward for treating family well. But there's ego points and status in being nice to strangers. Family becomes the punching bag, while outsiders get the fake mask. It’s all about appearances. They care more about being seen as "nice" than actually being nice.
 

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