Of all the emojis I use
![Soy :soy: :soy:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
the most, because I actually find it to be the most painful emoji. It's particularly painful, because
![Soy :soy: :soy:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
is the only version of yourself that you are allowed to be in public without getting completely ostracized. It actually eats me up inside, and rots me to the core to act like a politically correct, decent human being.
I hate it because everything about
![Soy :soy: :soy:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
and what it stands for is a turdfaced, useless lie . The world is a SHIT place where assholes and
![Chad :chad: :chad:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
always win, and it's the most obvious thing in the world that acting
![Soy :soy: :soy:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
is literal insanity, yet everyone does it anyway. I get nothing out of it except the utilitarian purpose of avoiding conflict. And even then, conflict evasion death by 1000 cuts way to a sort of
![Soy :soy: :soy:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
Hell.
I am pretty much Patrick Bateman on the inside but ugly and high-inhib enough not to risk murdering people IRL. So using the
![Soy :soy: :soy:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
is a stress reliving way of distancing my public self from my internet self. Using
![Soy :soy: :soy:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
reminds me that I am NOT
![Soy :soy: :soy:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
.
It's so easy to loose yourself, the footing of your own identity in this mad world.