dead.ahead
subhuman
★★★
- Joined
- May 26, 2024
- Posts
- 774
It's so irrational. We are people just like them. With thoughts, emotions and ideas. How is it okay to look down on a shorter man? I understand that our animal nature compels us to behave in erratic, illogical ways, but to dehumanize and mock someone for things that are completely outside his control - like his height, which is primarily influenced by genetics. An intelligent society would shun those animalistic, primitive behaviors only repeated because we still respect physical over intellectual competence.
I know that it's stupid to ask why humans are the way they are, but it's still bothering me. Blackpill says that people will respect tall people because it's been bred into us by genetics and millenia of evolution that say "tall = strong, tall = competent, tall = attractive".. but why can't we look past? We are in a "civilized" society. Most of us are from 1st world countries, maybe 2nd world countries. I understand that in a 3rd world country it's a lot harder to accomplish such task, due to strains on resources, infighting, civil wars, political instability, ect. But why is it so normalized to hate and shun men for things outside of their control?
Why can't I find a loving girlfriend just because I'm short and ugly? I'm a person too. I have thoughts, ideas, feelings, I work to improve myself and seek good in others when I find it worthwile. I feel pain when I'm alone and isolated from other humans. We aren't solitary creatures.
I do not support people who will hurt me and therefore mostly completely isolated myself from women, but back when I was still coping with bluepill, I remember asking out my Oneitis crush once.
I think I already said that story before, so I will sum it up: she went for a tall man. From my class. He wasn't good at academics, he was a typical "party boy" (like all tall guys in my high school class). Just why? What did that man have, that I didn't? 20 centimeters is such a big deal?
I sometimes feel as if this world we were born in is already hell. We are being punished. Every single one of us is being punished in this boiling cauldron of hatred aimed towards us, and insecurity that fosters from it, with no way out. I can only hope that after I die, this hell will end. I'd rather embrace oblivion than continue this nightmare for another 40, 50, maybe even 60 years. I just cannot do it. My mind is degenerating.
I feel so little now. Back when I joined this forum, which was maybe 2 months ago, I was still full of pain, rage and hatred towards myself. All that angst reached a boiling point after 5, maybe 6 years of constant negative feedback. I was going to do it back then, but I pussied out as always. And eventually even the emotional need to die began to fizzle out. Now the only thing that would compel me to self-annihilation is the idea of spending another 50 years locked in this deformed body I've been assigned at birth.
Now I feel nothing. Is this what true blackpill is like? To just feel nothing? Has my brain began shutting down parts that have hurt it for so long? I still feel pain when I think about the prospect of spending another 40 years completely and utterly alone, but otherwise there is a constant, unending indifference toward everything. I walk around like a robot. A shell of a person. There is no regard for safety. I feel as if I could step onto a busy street without missing a heart beat. I could walk over the edge of a building and not even blink as I stare at the pavement speeding up towards me. I just feel nothing. I'm emotionally dead. Spent. I've been defeated as a man and as a person. I don't enjoy my copes anymore. I just do them out of necessity, because it's better than to rot in silence with my thoughts as my only company.
I don't feel joy, I don't feel happiness, I don't feel sadness or regret, or hatred or anger. Just nothing. Have I been truly broken or is this another step towards the end? I don't understand anything anymore. I tried to understand women, I tried to understand men, why they behave the way they do, why I have to suffer for my whole life in complete and absolute loneliness and social deprivation that no human being was designed to experience or survive. I tried to understand why they mock me for who I am. What did I do to them? Did I offend them in some way? Is it because I'm ugly?
Why me? Why couldn't I have been born a couple inches taller? Why couldn't my jaw be normal, why couldn't I have the genetics to keep my hairline from falling apart before turning 20 years old?
Why do I have to be subhuman? Why can't I just be normal like everyone else and enjoy a normal life?
I know that it's stupid to ask why humans are the way they are, but it's still bothering me. Blackpill says that people will respect tall people because it's been bred into us by genetics and millenia of evolution that say "tall = strong, tall = competent, tall = attractive".. but why can't we look past? We are in a "civilized" society. Most of us are from 1st world countries, maybe 2nd world countries. I understand that in a 3rd world country it's a lot harder to accomplish such task, due to strains on resources, infighting, civil wars, political instability, ect. But why is it so normalized to hate and shun men for things outside of their control?
Why can't I find a loving girlfriend just because I'm short and ugly? I'm a person too. I have thoughts, ideas, feelings, I work to improve myself and seek good in others when I find it worthwile. I feel pain when I'm alone and isolated from other humans. We aren't solitary creatures.
I do not support people who will hurt me and therefore mostly completely isolated myself from women, but back when I was still coping with bluepill, I remember asking out my Oneitis crush once.
I think I already said that story before, so I will sum it up: she went for a tall man. From my class. He wasn't good at academics, he was a typical "party boy" (like all tall guys in my high school class). Just why? What did that man have, that I didn't? 20 centimeters is such a big deal?
I sometimes feel as if this world we were born in is already hell. We are being punished. Every single one of us is being punished in this boiling cauldron of hatred aimed towards us, and insecurity that fosters from it, with no way out. I can only hope that after I die, this hell will end. I'd rather embrace oblivion than continue this nightmare for another 40, 50, maybe even 60 years. I just cannot do it. My mind is degenerating.
I feel so little now. Back when I joined this forum, which was maybe 2 months ago, I was still full of pain, rage and hatred towards myself. All that angst reached a boiling point after 5, maybe 6 years of constant negative feedback. I was going to do it back then, but I pussied out as always. And eventually even the emotional need to die began to fizzle out. Now the only thing that would compel me to self-annihilation is the idea of spending another 50 years locked in this deformed body I've been assigned at birth.
Now I feel nothing. Is this what true blackpill is like? To just feel nothing? Has my brain began shutting down parts that have hurt it for so long? I still feel pain when I think about the prospect of spending another 40 years completely and utterly alone, but otherwise there is a constant, unending indifference toward everything. I walk around like a robot. A shell of a person. There is no regard for safety. I feel as if I could step onto a busy street without missing a heart beat. I could walk over the edge of a building and not even blink as I stare at the pavement speeding up towards me. I just feel nothing. I'm emotionally dead. Spent. I've been defeated as a man and as a person. I don't enjoy my copes anymore. I just do them out of necessity, because it's better than to rot in silence with my thoughts as my only company.
I don't feel joy, I don't feel happiness, I don't feel sadness or regret, or hatred or anger. Just nothing. Have I been truly broken or is this another step towards the end? I don't understand anything anymore. I tried to understand women, I tried to understand men, why they behave the way they do, why I have to suffer for my whole life in complete and absolute loneliness and social deprivation that no human being was designed to experience or survive. I tried to understand why they mock me for who I am. What did I do to them? Did I offend them in some way? Is it because I'm ugly?
Why me? Why couldn't I have been born a couple inches taller? Why couldn't my jaw be normal, why couldn't I have the genetics to keep my hairline from falling apart before turning 20 years old?
Why do I have to be subhuman? Why can't I just be normal like everyone else and enjoy a normal life?