D
people never cared about me. I was always bullied and made fun of by classmates, friends, and strangers. teachers would also bully me and make me stand in front of the class just to clown on me. there was a teacher who used to joke about how I eat children for breakfast because I looked ugly. I have been insulted by strangers more than I could count. i was also sexually abused by my older brother and had an abusive dad. my mom also contributed to me hating myself because she said my skin is too dark and that I was dirty so she used to scrub my skin to remove this ''dirt'' even though it was just a normal skin condition due to my obesity (lost the weight and my skin is better). she also jokingly said that I need to find a white woman to avoid having dark-skinned children. I still love family tbh and I am trying to forgive their imperfections because they didn't know better, but I legit never felt accepted by others and feel this gaping loneliness in my heart and apathy towards people. that's why I stopped listening to normies and their stupid ass advice because once my experiences become universal and then you still managed to love yourself and be confident then come tell me about it but I don't need an average looking white girl from IT to tell me that I need self-love when her experiences have been the exact opposite. just recently I saw a post in IT of a woman claiming that incels had it easy so I went to her profile and found she had an only fans account and was earning money by posting her nudes. she wasn't even good-looking (proves that women have it easy) and she had the audacity to claim that she works harder than incels. her existence literally proves the blackpill. I guess many people like to pat themselves in the back by their own ''accomplishments'' and think they worked hard for it. normies contributed to me hating myself even more because I thought to myself that I was just weak for not growing up to be normal and moving on from my experiences. despite all that I try my best to see the good in others even though I was mostly treated like shit or like I was invisible.
I scheduled an appointment with a therapist JFL so while people my age are out there enjoying life and happy experiences I am here sitting like a clown talking about my issues like I am an insane person and sometimes I get satisfaction overseeing other people suffering (fucked up I know) but I can't help it
I just wanted to get this out off my chest.
I scheduled an appointment with a therapist JFL so while people my age are out there enjoying life and happy experiences I am here sitting like a clown talking about my issues like I am an insane person and sometimes I get satisfaction overseeing other people suffering (fucked up I know) but I can't help it
I just wanted to get this out off my chest.
