Brutal. I wonder why it's always the ones who are the most blessed who end up being such degenerate and horrible people. They got everything they needed to live an excellent life yet they somehow don't appreciate that and end up throwing at all away, all while making the lives of less fortunate people hell. Good to hear that he's gone at least.
Also, this is unrelated to this thread but I know I'm an asshole who said I was going to respond to your "The chronicles of madness: how I have succumbed to my depression part 1" thread but then I never did. It is a sensitive and difficult subject, and I thought that the answer I was writing ended up being a bit pretentious and retarded. But just for the sake of it, I will give you an abridged, haphazardly rewritten version of what I was going to post there here. You can ask me if want me to expand on anything. Doesn't need to be here either, you could send me a direct message or chat. Here is what I have to say:
If my understanding of the two threads about suicide you have made so far is correct the situation you find yourself in now is this:
1. You are suicidal and you are planning to commit suicide. You already have a date or timeframe in mind for your suicide.
2. Up until your suicide date you have decided to seek reasons to not commit suicide. That is the reason why you have posted these threads, you are asking for reasons to not commit suicide.
And the reasons you wish to commit suicide is this:
1. You have no girlfriend/wife and you do not believe you are going to get one. Almost a given considering the fact that you are here on this site of course, but just trying to list all the facts.
2. You have no friends.
3. You do not have a good family.
4. You have a lack of/or difficulty to get sexual pleasure in your life due to having a small penis.
I will begin with addressing the first 3 points. All of those three have to do with loneliness, which is for sure a real pain. But the way I see it loneliness is absolute, because love, whether romantic or platonic is no longer something I believe is a real or possible thing. While that might sound like a counterintuitive idea at first I believe that there can be some silver lining in that. I have a decent amount to say about this idea and I have been working on a thread about it for a while which I wish I could send to you, but it is still not done. I have however already spoken about this idea in other threads here before, so I will quote some excerpts from those comments for you, hopefully it makes sense. Here are those quotes:
I know that you have already read it, but I want to add that the Must-Read thread "Females are Psychopaths – A Socio-Historic Review" also expands on my above point well:
In Honor of @To_Live_is_to_Serve Rest in Peace Females are Psychopaths – A Socio-Historic Review While this victim of the Jesuits was being executed, I was several times obliged to turn away my face and to stop my ears as I heard his piercing shrieks, half of his body having been torn from...
incels.is
To add onto all that I want to say that it's good to hear that you have interests and hobbies (even talents?), many people (NPCs in my opinion) are cursed and do not have that. Especially ones as good as science, mathematics and economics and so on. Interests like that are great because there is a never-ending amount of things to learn and do. If I were you I would quadruple down on stuff like that, whether you want to do experiments, write books or papers and so on. Give your interests all the luxury they deserve, no matter if it is money, time or both. But make sure to keep it fun and to not base your self-worth on how good you think you are at your interests or similar. It should be all about curiosity and enjoyment, not about seeking approval from yourself (you need to see your self-worth as inherent), or from others which would be even worse.
Now I will speak a bit about point 4, namely dickceldom. You have definitely been through your fair share of dickeldom suffering, especially with that brutal escort story of yours. One thing however is that I get the impression that knowing that you have a small penis and what exactly what problems that brings is more of a recent thing for you, correct me if I'm wrong. Personally I have known about it almost my entire life so working on that assumption I want to say that while the suffering from it never goes away, all the ways it makes you feel eventually at least becomes predictable and routine.
That is actually a fact I want to bring up about life in general. While many believe that it should be possible to be 100% happy all the time or 100% miserable all the time, that is not actually the case. Life, no matter what, follows a cyclical nature. Things feel bad, then good and then bad again. It is always that kind of pattern. Right now you might be feeling so bad that it's as if death's hand is on your shoulder, but I can guarantee that you will eventually feel somewhat "good" again, at least in comparison to how you feel now. There's generally nothing one can do to move between these stages, they happen on their own most of the time. How long each stage lasts is also completely random, you could be stuck on one feeling for months or have it cycle every few hours. Of course all this also means that even when you feel good you are guaranteed to eventually feel bad again no matter what, but that is the point. Once you can recognise these cycles for what they are the idea is that you will be able to think past them, or sit them out. Most cycles will only have you feeling 5 - 20% better or worse than you did before generally which can be more difficult to sense at first, but there will be moments where things change more dramatically for the better or the worse as well.
Now past all that I want to say that as a dickcel you still have to find ways to keep your sexual health and well-being as well as possible, even though we are of course limited. While I will hold back on giving you too many tips about that right away due to the sentiment of faggotry, I will try to give you some things. It sounds to me that even though you can't feel much physical pleasure you have been able to have erections and to ejaculate in your life, and if so you have to count those as blessings. There are some cursed men who have never even been able to do that. Whatever it is that has helped you do that you have to put more time and respect into for your own sake. That is because I believe that if you have been able to use it (as in masturbate) and you stop using it I am quite convinced that you can lose that ability. No matter what the NoFap guys say, do not ever listen to them. If you have been able to masturbate or similar you should do all it takes to not lose that, because the sexual functions are the most essential functions in any living being and if you stop being able to use them you will start not feeling human anymore. Trust me, you do not want that. What I am saying is basically that you should put a lot of work and effort into it when necessary. If you like pornography that could mean finding 30 videos you like in one session instead of one, or to spend money on some AI thing for example. Again, just like I said that you should allow yourself to put time and money into your hobbies and interests your sexual well-being is much the same. Keeping that stuff in check as well as possible is as serious as eating and sleeping for your health.
Another thing I saw you mention was religion and that is something I have written about a little here and there here as well, so I will give you some of my quotes for that:
Now while I am against commiting suicide on an impulse I am not saying that I am fully against it. I want to stress that I would never encourage you or anyone to do it, but it is a very understandable thing given how harsh life is. There was a time when I was quite intent on offing myself as well, due to similar reasons to yours. The reason I was able to overcome it is largely because of the ideas I detailed above. But what I mean to say here is that I don't hate you for wanting to do it and I would not hate you for doing it.
The thing about it is that you should really leave no stone unturned in case you end up doing it. An interesting Freemasonic-ish phrase I encountered once that pretty much summarises it is "At the end of your life, make sure you have completed your work". And an important thing to note is that many people, maybe even most people who do it and miraculously end up surviving report instantly regretting their decision. That feeling which is inevitable for most people is something to keep in mind.
My overall opinions on suicide can be summarised by this song, Flipper - Shed No Tears:
View: https://youtu.be/RQOsm63TKQs?is=yZReDVD5SJSbmM4m
If you like what you hear I would recommend the rest of the album as well, it is some classic punk rock. I could go on and on about music, I guess I should mention that music is personally one of my foremost copes. I will hold back on blabbering about that though in case you're not a music fan yourself.
There you go, the reply I promised. Sorry for keeping you waiting.
