I do this regularly, bad habit I fell into after getting a taste for real-time audio responses to my words, kind of addictive. Was more frugal in the days where unresponsive anime-witnessing was my sole source of waifu.
I don't donate to big ones who don't read messages though, I've never really understood that. A couple I supported when they were smaller ended up growing to so many fans where they couldn't respond as frequently and I pulled back my support in response since they didnt need it anymore since they clearly had plenty of other supporters to keep them going.
Yeah that whole thing about 'they can just be fucking someone else behind the scenes' is an upsetting thing to think about, but that's something you have to think about with dating a girl IRL too.
You have to be at peace with the idea - do you genuinely enjoy the product and are warmed by the idea of helping to motivate them to keep producing it?
If you don't enjoy your oshi that much then obviously don't support them. You don't want to be pathetic and have unrealistic expectations.
I usually listen to an oshi for dozens of cumulative hours of free entertainment and having them response to hundreds of my messages in real-time with thoughtful responses before I decide one day to be spontaneously generous and support them.
It's also not just about them reading the text and giving low-effort responses - it's about whether they show intraspection, good culture and morality, and if they gradually recognize and respect you as a chatter. I also look at how they interact with other chatters and decide whether I approve of supporting those choices.
I've fucked up a couple times, two have gone scorched earth on me and made me their personal devil after months of support over fake bullshit that toxic members of their community whispered to them. It stings. Makes you feel used. But like a bad first date (which would cost you more money) you just have to pick yourself off again and realize it wasn't a total waste because you have the confidence you had courage to put yourself out there, and know you will steel even more courage to do it again the next time.
For the most part the girls I've supported have retained my respect though. That could of course change and I'll deal with the spiraling emotional impact when it hits me. I seem to average 1 betrayal per year from an oshi, but I learn a dozen new oshi a year so I'm still in a net positive of women I gain access to learn from and enjoy listening to.
I'm raising the bar for women I eventually might interact with IRL. I'm learning lessons in the BS of how women treat people that anime might not emphasize enough. Good and bad collectively I think it's a good teaching experience, one I wouldn't fully understand emotionally in my bones if I didn't throw a few bucks in the direction of the ones I really like here and there.
I still donate to less than 5% of the ones I listen to. It's a special feeling to genuinely like someone enough to selflessly give them a lil gift, even risking that some day they may villify you and make you feel cucked for ever having done so. This is something I understand more deeply than most of you because of how lolicons get crucified in popular culture even with loli-friendly streamers. It's still the assumption that we're unstable or groomers, etc. and even if a streamer doesn't believe this, they may go along with it just to placate members of their audience who do, or out of fear some do.
I get the 'nice meal' thing though glassness, I guess I'm at the point where meals won't solve the hole in me. I do agree in prioritizing self-care though. A lot of streamers even emphasize that. I have spent money at times where I ought to be saving it for something big and regretted it, but what's done is done. I can still earn more, I can still work hard to achieve my dreams, and I still think I'd be potentially worse off in a very rotten mental state without my oshis to lean on in the dark moments when I needed an escape with them.
