Firstly, I'll explain the idea of a spectrum between incel and volcel. At first, they appear to be polar opposites. But I think there are shades of grey between the two. At the one end, you have asexuals and those who have taken a vow of celibacy for religious reasons, for example - these people have no desire or intention to have sex or find a romantic relationship. The other extreme would be hypersexual incels for whom the inceldom is almost unbearable due to their unusually high libido - these people would most likely be in a near constant state of deep depression.
With this in mind, I've found myself questioning where I am between the two.
Do I want to have sex? Well, as a heterosexual male with a normal, working libido, yes - there is a part of me that wants to have sex. It's our most fundamental biological instinct. And it's only natural to be curious about trying something you've never done. But I'm not absolutely desperate for it. I still get sexual release through masturbation, which allows me to go at my own pace, do it whenever I want, and do it exactly how I like it. Is it better than sex? I don't know - I've never had sex, so I can't compare the two - but I know that I like being able to have my sexual release exactly the way I like it, and I don't imagine sex would be quite as straight forward.
Do I want a romantic relationship? Again, there is an element of curiosity in wanting to experience something I've never had. But again, I'm not desperate for it. I'm naturally introverted so I like my own time and space, and to be honest, I don't see how a romantic relationship would really fit into my life. I never want kids, I like living alone, and I'm protective of my autonomy/independence, which would most likely be compromised in a relationship.
Over the last year or so, I feel I've been gradually transitioning from incel to volcel, for a couple of reasons:
1. I've approached 179 girls - more than the average guy will in his lifetime. Knowing I've tried harder than most guys ever will has given me some peace of mind.
2. Knowing the immense amount of work that would have to go into getting a date, let alone a relationship, makes me seriously doubt whether it's worth it. Most guys find romantic relationships as a natural part of their lives without much effort or planning. I would have to approach an absurdly large number of girls to have even the most miniscule chance of it happening. On a cost/benefit analysis, it doesn't stand up.
Today, for example, I was considering going into the city to do approaches. I didn't, and instead ended up spending copious amounts of time on here. And do you know what? It was better. Much, much better. Instead of wasting money on a train ticket to walk around in the cold for hours, getting constantly rejected, I was able to relax, LDAR and enjoy contributing and reading posts here, some of which genuinely made me laugh. In the afternoon I went out to get food alone, and just enjoyed relaxing by myself. I didn't need a girl to be there with me - in fact, it was better, as I prefer just eating alone than with another person and being expected to make conversation.
If this makes me a volcel, then maybe it's the best way to be after all.
With this in mind, I've found myself questioning where I am between the two.
Do I want to have sex? Well, as a heterosexual male with a normal, working libido, yes - there is a part of me that wants to have sex. It's our most fundamental biological instinct. And it's only natural to be curious about trying something you've never done. But I'm not absolutely desperate for it. I still get sexual release through masturbation, which allows me to go at my own pace, do it whenever I want, and do it exactly how I like it. Is it better than sex? I don't know - I've never had sex, so I can't compare the two - but I know that I like being able to have my sexual release exactly the way I like it, and I don't imagine sex would be quite as straight forward.
Do I want a romantic relationship? Again, there is an element of curiosity in wanting to experience something I've never had. But again, I'm not desperate for it. I'm naturally introverted so I like my own time and space, and to be honest, I don't see how a romantic relationship would really fit into my life. I never want kids, I like living alone, and I'm protective of my autonomy/independence, which would most likely be compromised in a relationship.
Over the last year or so, I feel I've been gradually transitioning from incel to volcel, for a couple of reasons:
1. I've approached 179 girls - more than the average guy will in his lifetime. Knowing I've tried harder than most guys ever will has given me some peace of mind.
2. Knowing the immense amount of work that would have to go into getting a date, let alone a relationship, makes me seriously doubt whether it's worth it. Most guys find romantic relationships as a natural part of their lives without much effort or planning. I would have to approach an absurdly large number of girls to have even the most miniscule chance of it happening. On a cost/benefit analysis, it doesn't stand up.
Today, for example, I was considering going into the city to do approaches. I didn't, and instead ended up spending copious amounts of time on here. And do you know what? It was better. Much, much better. Instead of wasting money on a train ticket to walk around in the cold for hours, getting constantly rejected, I was able to relax, LDAR and enjoy contributing and reading posts here, some of which genuinely made me laugh. In the afternoon I went out to get food alone, and just enjoyed relaxing by myself. I didn't need a girl to be there with me - in fact, it was better, as I prefer just eating alone than with another person and being expected to make conversation.
If this makes me a volcel, then maybe it's the best way to be after all.
, but they're my honest feelings.
