It was knowing that i had a bleak future. I am grounded by bone law, hair law and other looks laws as well as non-looks laws such as status and men pushed to date down in looks. Depression more than anger was what I felt.
The redpill experiments I did with Chad socks on dating sites way back in 2001 were what caused anger. I just didn't want it to be true that slim, prime, yet plain-looking women were only letteing Chads in the door while shutting it firmly in average guys/looksmatches faces. It felt so holistically unfair, because us guys love looksmatches and would love to date them yet women treat average men mean. It was the female lies and the lies of society that angered me (that I had succumbed to in my blue pill days), but I'd wish I'd known it at age 15/16 rather than the 23/24yo I was in 2001. Would of saved years and would of got my looksmaxxing in between 16-18 before going to university (HGH, Test, weights, roids). Would of worked on being more extrovert than introvert. I dropped out of uni due to my looks and bullying cos of my looks and I messed up my life because of it. (I ended up NEET, lack of motivation, minor criminal conviction and bascially flushed away all my twenties and early 30's being a recluse)