Thankfully no, otherwise I would have been charged with first degree murder and almost certainly convicted.
I was originally charged with attempted murder, but I took a plea deal and that charge (and several others) were dropped. I pled guilty to one of the assault charges and I only did a few months in juvie.
For context, this guy beat the shit out of me multiple times, and I had no doubt he was going to do it again. This happened at the bus stop. The first fight we got into was partially my fault. He was walking behind me and just shoved me to the ground and walked away. But me being 12, low IQ, low inhib, and thinking I was such a badass I got up and shouted something along the lines of "HEY GET YOUR BITCH ASS BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME". Needless to say I got my ass kicked. But after that he started beating me up whenever he'd see me. That wasn't everyday since the buses didn't arrive at the same time and the majority of the time the high schoolers were picked up before most of the middle schoolers got to the stop. But sometimes the high school bus would arrive late. Likewise it was the same bus stop going home but there'd be times when our buses arrived at the same time.
Anyway he beat my ass probably like 5 times. The last time he kicked my ass it was really bad because I tried to kick him in the nuts (maybe i did, but I probably only got him in the leg) and that really pissed him off because he actually got on top of me after knocking me to the ground and hit me several more times and my face was pretty busted up after. So I decided I'd put an end to it by carrying around a kitchen knife. Not a butcher knife or anything crazy, but sharper than a butter knife. It was very similar to this:
View attachment 1539175
Anyway my plan was to whip it out the next time we crossed paths and just brandish it to intimidate him. I figured if he had no knife he'd bitch out and stop messing with me, or if he had a knife we'd get into a "knife fight". Thankfully he didn't have a knife because I'd be dead but my 12 year old brain thought I could win a "knife fight". Anyway when our paths crossed again and he made eye contact with me and started walking towards me, I whipped it out. He basically called my bluff because he just smiled and kept walking towards me. So I just ran up and stabbed him. Wasn't the original plan but I felt like I had no choice. I stabbed him once in the gut and I know it went all the way in because I plunged that knife in like my life depended on it. When he hunched over and screamed, I tried stabbing him in the back but I just ended up slashing him. He screamed like a bitch.
Now the problem for me was I did this in front of a big crowd of people and on that day he didn't touch me, I just ran up and stabbed him before he could. So while in my own mind this was self-defense, no court in america would see it as such, because on that day he didn't land or throw any punches. He most certainly would have based on previous events, but proving that in court would be impossible. So in the eyes of the court and the general public, this would be a kid who was angry about losing a few fights with an older kid, so he stabbed him as an act of revenge. Had he died, it could have become a national story, and that would be the narrative, with the conclusion being rap music and video games cause violence (those were major talking point of the era and I liked both so they would definitely have played those cards).
I would’ve been way too anxious to do it in school
