A vast majority of unattractive men end up taking the bluepill and becoming a soycuck, or taking the red pill and trying to pull game for a slim chance of getting pussy. In fact, many likely do so thinking either of the two are the only realistic option they had and without knowing the blackpill exists at all.
What events in your life caused you to move away from either of these two idealogies and take the blackpill instead? How did you find your first incel forum? Surely the incelosphere isn't just something you stumble upon, and to find it you generally have to be looking for it.
At the beginning of this year, I started having a quarter-life crisis and began to "self-actualize," like holy fuck, I'm gonna no longer be young. I seriously wasted so much of my youth away, holy shit, just feeling sorry for myself and being alone playing video games, watching porn, studying. I wanted to change my life around. I started gaining confidence, found a hobby I could be passionate about, put more care in my body, worked out every day, made efforts to socialize, made effort with women, and really strived
hard over the past few months. I really thought I was making progress with myself; my health, my body, my hobbies, my friends, etc.
But my friends, acquaintances, and family have reinforced the idea in very, very harsh ways either explicitly, through their body language, the things they say, or accidentally letting it slip that they don't see
any difference with me at all. Like
any. Nobody thought I looked more handsome or healthier, nobody thought I was more socially affluent, nobody thought I was more mature, nobody thought that I had any unique interests or ideas, nobody was happy or interested in the hobby I found. That I am who I am.
Further, I was rejected by two girls who I genuinely had interest in dating in a very harsh way (cutting all contact with me; one lives in my apartment complex).
All that broke me. I heard of the black pill and laughed at it before, like "ha ha, yeah right, all women are whores because they don't sleep with me; and looks are all that matters. lol okay sure." But nothing else it explains it; unless the two communities I've been a part of are out to get me, nothing makes sense other than this brutal truth. It explains so much.
Coronavirus has also stopped me from improving with myself in any way that isn't working out...and maybe sort of learning a foreign language (work / school has taken up too much of my time to me to learn it efficiently), and I feel like I've regressed back to where I was at the beginning of the year with all that effort wasted.
It seriously felt like I was breaking free of chains that were holding me down my whole life, and God said "fuck you, you piece of shit, you are staying in those chains, because that's who you are. You are those chains."
