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SuicideFuel What led me to pessimism/blackpill & where it will lead me

FakeFakecel

FakeFakecel

PhD in Agony & Anguish
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Philosophy is a cope made by high-IQ subhumans to give meaning to their suffering and/or the pointlessness of it all. NO ONE who wins at life will be interested in philosophy. Why ponder the meaning of life when you have a good life?

Arthur Schopenhauer, may he rest easy, was ugly. He was rejected by women so he hated them. And he wrote his works accordingly, proceeded to become one of the greatest philosophers to walk this earth. Coincidence? I think not.

Why would a chad read Schopenhauer? Why would a stacy read Cioran?

What I mean is, if you're genuinely interested in philosophy, particularly the more ''brutally honest'' ones, you basically have ''erectile dysfunction'', except towards all of life and all it stands for, and you need a coping mechanism for that. This is also the origin of religions, but that's for another thread.

The above paragraph is exactly why I'm interested in philosophy.

Anything that isn't that "erectile dysfunction" feels fake. Sometimes I look at others and I become arrogant. I think to myself how dare they live life in a way that isn't filled with pessimism. Then I usually question myself and them, and wonder if they are just as pessimistic deep down as I am. There are also times that I envy others and their ability to appreciate life. If people are intuitively aware of my wish that nature becomes annihilated along with with me, that justifies the way they avoid me. Yet every time I have a conversation with someone that isn't a fellow subhuman, figuratively my face becomes twisted in disgust towards them and myself, and immediately I feel a knot in my stomach for lacking the ability to have human connection.

I think this was fate for me. I was always wild, filled with ADHD and the depression that comes from being an ugly subhuman. The thing that changed is when I became a slave to my blackpilled perception. It didn't take long for me to realize how that the free spirited, childish self of mine was not wanted in this world. The world doesn't owe anyone anything, but it certainly failed me, and it seems that it is determined that I fail it as well. I already knew that. That's why swallowing the blackpill was easy. (That isn't to say it wasn't brutal, though.)

A lot of the time I feel that I don't care. I wait impatiently for death. There are times, however, that I feel a pit in my stomach and I wish that I could be something different, or at least see something different. I've tried to see things differently, many times. It's sad to say that pessimism is the one philosophy that seems to sing on tune the lyrics of my soul, and so I always fall back into it. As much as I hate a lot of people, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Even if pessimism resonates the truth, I hope that no one has to suffer this awful fate of mine. I'm relatively young, and so I am frightened on where my mind will be in the future. I will go mad and kill myself. That's what will happen, and I can't stop it.

@Efiliste
@Caelus
@hierophant
@Lurkercel0
 
Last edited:
Inb4 ''dnr''.
 
most subhumans are retard too
 
Agreed tbh you covered everything, don’t really have much to add. No thoughts, head empty. No thots, balls dry. Mind fired too quickly, without even having to try.
 
Good that you invited hierophant here, he seems pretty smart and philosophical himself, just like you.
 
Man is not a philosophical animal because rationality and logic doesn't come natural to humans. It is human nature to not think, but to do and think later. This is an evolutionary mechanism that most likely helped pre-historic humans survive.
 
You mentioned Emil Cioran and Arthur Schopenhauer, are you an Efilist, Antinatalist, or pro-mortalist ?
 
You mentioned Emil Cioran and Arthur Schopenhauer, are you an Efilist, Antinatalist, or pro-mortalist ?
I wouldn't really put my beliefs under a title like that. I feel like none capture my feelings 100%. But if I had to choose one, I'd say pessimism in general and/or antinatalism.
 

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