Serious What keeps you from killing yourself?

[inklingPro 1980]

Ironic you posed this question today. I'm not in a good fucking place. Another friend is being distant now that he has a gf. I've been there for this dude.... when he was locked up I sent him money. Talked him through it. He's been out for months and like your typical Chad fucks every other woman and now has a gf. I want to go out and do something and it doesn't happen. After everything I did. I couldn't afford to send money but I did. I was trying to be a friend. I guess my only real friend died five years ago.

I'm so tired of trying. I'm tired of being alone. I'm working a housesitting job this week so maybe that's why I'm so reflective. But I'm on the verge of crying. Some of you might know the real reason I'm sad. I can't do anything about that part. It is what it is. This is what it did to me. Why do so many bad souls get good lives?? Why are we stuck with our bullshit? I feel like a stupid bitch just rambling. I'm trying to be coherent. 38 years old and nothing to show for it. No career, no money, no ltr let alone marriage, no respect. And I tried. I tried fucking hard. I got nowhere.

This shit is painful. I don't want sympathy. I want to be happy. I want to live. I want to feel. I feel like a ghost. A ghost wallows in their past and remains unseen and unknown to the living. So I wonder if I am a ghost sometimes.

 

[drivebyartist]

spiting people for fun.

 

[UltimateExile]

Good copes like video games, music, TV stuff.

 

[MilkingTheEel]

My "girlfriend"
She is a high end Silicone Doll, Black Female, Looks like Pamela Grier.
I am so in love with "her"
Helps me through The Saturday Nights.
Am I allowed to brag about the great doll-sex?

Might actually buy that eventually, hope not.

Ironic you posed this question today. I'm not in a good fucking place. Another friend is being distant now that he has a gf. I've been there for this dude.... when he was locked up I sent him money. Talked him through it. He's been out for months and like your typical Chad fucks every other woman and now has a gf. I want to go out and do something and it doesn't happen. After everything I did. I couldn't afford to send money but I did. I was trying to be a friend. I guess my only real friend died five years ago.

I'm so tired of trying. I'm tired of being alone. I'm working a housesitting job this week so maybe that's why I'm so reflective. But I'm on the verge of crying. Some of you might know the real reason I'm sad. I can't do anything about that part. It is what it is. This is what it did to me. Why do so many bad souls get good lives?? Why are we stuck with our bullshit? I feel like a stupid bitch just rambling. I'm trying to be coherent. 38 years old and nothing to show for it. No career, no money, no ltr let alone marriage, no respect. And I tried. I tried fucking hard. I got nowhere.

This shit is painful. I don't want sympathy. I want to be happy. I want to live. I want to feel. I feel like a ghost. A ghost wallows in their past and remains unseen and unknown to the living. So I wonder if I am a ghost sometimes.

38, that's tough. I'd take the way of illegal activities if I was broke at that age(In Minecraft of course, as some guy from this forum said)

If there was a button I could press and I would instantly die, I'd do it.

A fear of burning in hell, if it exists

I'm too proud to worship some jew on a stick so if hell is real then good thing I had practice in this world.