Let me make this clear: there are no happy endings for any of us. That being said, we can always dream. My happy ending would probably involve some kind of heavenly state. I long for peace that can not be found in this world. Many people would say a wife and kids, but that's just not appealing to me. My Grandparents have that, and I just can't imagine growing old with someone else like that. If I make it to old age, I'd prefer quiet and solitude. I could truly be myself. I couldn't bear to marry a beautiful young girl and to see that beauty and light be destroyed with time. Aging might just be worse than death because at least death doesn't challenge your sense of self and your identity. Aging on the body and of the mind, coupled with a changing world and life circumstances, is extremely corrosive to one's identity. I should probably make a separate post dedicated to aging, having spent a lot of time among older people. I've developed quite a fear of it, to be honest. It's the dwindling of horizons and the death of dreams made manifest in the flesh. Sometimes I wish to die young, so I don't have to face the humiliation and suffering of aging alone. I'd still prefer it over getting married, however. I refuse to be pussified and spend my life in servitude to some foid. In before "fakecel" accusations for not wanting to be a wife guy.
