Sometimes I think discovering the blackpill, I still had a little bit of hope that one day things would magically work out, before then. That's probably why redditors/ normfags etc. cling as hard as they can to their bluepilled delusion, it's all they've got.
Now there's no hope for anything, in turn leaving me with no motivation to do anything, outside of coping. The copes themselves don't really work anymore either, everything feels like a chore. Drinking makes other copes feel more enjoyable, but I can't drink everyday all the time. If I could afford to, and hangovers/ withdrawals didn't exist I probably would.
