Welcome to Incels.is - Involuntary Celibate Forum

Welcome! This is a forum for involuntary celibates: people who lack a significant other. Are you lonely and wish you had someone in your life? You're not alone! Join our forum and talk to people just like you.

Discussion What do you think of the suggestion to go to counseling/therapy?

blond_elf_bard

blond_elf_bard

Major
★★
Joined
Dec 11, 2017
Posts
2,191
For the record, I do see a therapist, and I'll be able to get another one with insurance after my sessions with the university run out. I'd say that I don't have much in the way of friends, either, although I have one now, and so I do appreciate him for that.

I believe that telling someone to see a therapist is rather invalidating, because it represents an eschewing of any potential help on the side of the person recommending therapy. One may try to make the counterargument that the person recommending help is doing so not out of a place of callousness, but because they genuinely do not know how to help the person suffering.

However, I think that the counterargument falls flat for the majority of people. Most of us do try to help our friends; I believe it's natural. Moverover, research suggests relationships boost quality and duration of life and so allowing both parties to benefit from emotional vulnerability, the vulnerable person from the easing of psychological burden, and the listener from the benefit of gaining some "power" in the relationship as a result of gaining vulnerable information, may be preferable to deferring the exchange of vulnerability to a third party. However, I admit the listener only has so much stamina, and dealing with depressed people, especially for a person not trained in therapy, can be quite exhausting.

Telling someone to see a doctor if they complain to you about a physical condition may well be meant in good faith, but insofar as healthy (i.e. beneficient and emotionally open) interpersonal relationships promote psychological health, relegating someone else to a stranger hardly seems productive, especially for someone whose psychopathology stems from a lack of social connection.

What solution is there? "Doing the inner work" prior to seeking out social relationships seems incomplete insofar as the psychological health obsentibly promoted by inner work, I would imagine, is largely constituted by socialization.

Have you ever been asked to see a therapist by a friend, acquaintance, or family member? How did it feel to hear it?

I admit I'm looking for looking for answers here because I'm getting rather desperate. I've been in therapy for years....
 
Going to therapy is a waste of time for an incel. There isn't anything that another person can tell you that you can't already evaluate yourself.

It'd be more beneficial to go to a close friend, or family member, rather than someone who gets paid to pretend to care. I've never been to therapy (gorilla) but i don't need to in order to know its stupid.

If you think about it logically, there really is no benefit to going to therapy unless you want someone to fill your head with fantasy feel good nonsense, and cope.

Telling someone to see a therapist is really a way of dismissing what they're saying, which is why its used as an insult to discredit someone's opinion and or stance.
 
Telling someone to see a therapist is really a way of dismissing what they're saying, which is why its used as an insult to discredit someone's opinion and or stance.
Exactly! What's more, therapists can act as de facto abjurers of reality to such an extent that they can have people with "delusions" locked away for days or months and forcibly drugged. Goes to show just how far a wrong opinion or stance can really malign someone.
 
At first I thought like, therapy is for pussies. But I gave in after some months of insistence.

I see a therapist and while I'm sure she will never be able to solve my problems, I like it because otherwise the only people I would talk to irl would be my parents. It's good to have some contact with people from the outside.

I tried to think of some interesting insight but your writing seemed too high iq for me :smonk:
 

Similar threads

war_with_myself
Replies
9
Views
357
Namtriz912
Namtriz912
Fire.
Replies
36
Views
762
oofy
oofy
Logic55
Replies
9
Views
163
Logic55
Logic55
Zer0/∞
Replies
28
Views
1K
Namtriz912
Namtriz912

Users who are viewing this thread

shape1
shape2
shape3
shape4
shape5
shape6
Back
Top