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Serious What Do You Think of My Parents? Would You Bother Reconnecting?

Esoteric7

Esoteric7

Volcel because I won’t fuck your mum
Joined
Sep 30, 2023
Posts
2,023
I left silently during the night 4 years ago and have not seen them since. Occasionally I text with my dad back and forth. Contemplating if I should ever see them again as I still feel animosity to this day:
-------------
Mother

Positives:
• Fed me, bathed me
• Rational minded

Negatives:
• When I'd misbehave with my brother she would beat me. Using her hands she would target my upper arm and back. Sometimes she'd use a wooden spoon and whack me on my upper arm and leg, and it would sting so bad I would cry

• Sometimes as she was beating me she would tell me to kill myself and call me names of animals; "You dog/donkey/goat!"

• I used to struggle with eczema around my face. Once she called me ugly and difficult to look at

• She almost never gave me any physical and verbal affection

• I once created a card for mother's Day. I spent a long time on this. I gave it to her and then found it buried inside the bin some time after. I felt so empty.

• She would always look at me with a cold, emotionless look on her face

• She was very passive aggressive: once I refused her demands to cut my hair as it was barely even medium length. She then stopped talking to me altogether and started ignoring me until I cut my hair

• She would regularly complain aloud about how I spent so much of my time in my bedroom alone like a loser. I felt so embarrassed when my brother and sister would hear that

• I could never confide to her about anything. She just didn't seem approachable or even useful enough to have a conversation about whatever was troubling me.
----------------

Father

Positives:
• Protected, led and provided for the family. Very efficient

• Never hit me

• Everyone respected him and no one told him what to do

• He always found a way to solve any problem

• Traditionally masculine; I used to liken him to a more human version of the Terminator from T2.

Negatives:
• Persistent feeling that I was never good enough and that he was chronically disappointed in me, and it was never made clear what the actual problem was

• Would frequently be disrespectful by my mother and he would just take it

• Would shout at me sometimes to talk louder because I "talked too quickly like a girl"

• He was very masculine but I still came out soft spoken and not very masculine

• Remembered how he used to interact with my cousin sister who was a year older than me. Almost seemed like he wished she was his eldest and that I never existed. I used to think if he'd give me just 25% of that interaction and attention I would be the happiest kid

• As a kid I once stayed at my Grandma's house overnight and he came to collect me. My grandma asked if I wanted to stay over, I
said yes. He wasn't having it and ordered me to get in the car with my belongings. On the way home he unleashed such verbal wrath about how dare I ask my grandma to liaise with him on my behalf. I was so confused and petrified about what he was saying. I didn't understand what was going on.

• I could never talk to him about anything. He would always assume he's right and make me feel like my thoughts were stupid.
 
she would tell me to kill myself and call me names of animals; "You dog/donkey/goat!"
I gave it to her and then found it buried inside the bin some time after
Brutal

I think you should forgive them and see them again some time. Clearly you didn't have great relations with them, so you have no obligation to try to become closer than you ever were with them.
 
Does your mother disappointed in you? I mean have you met her expectations?
 
don't think so
most hypocritical shit is when parents basically raise their kids in a way they basically set them to fail in adult life, then when kids fails in adult life they say you're a loser
 
most hypocritical shit is when parents basically raise their kids in a way they basically set them to fail in adult life, then when kids fails in adult life they say you're a loser
100%. unfit low iq people having kids
 
Sounds like pajeet or arab parenting, which one are you?
 
Sounds like pajeet or arab parenting, which one are you?
Wow, id definitely reconnect if the parent was apologetic and remorseful
 
You can recconect but have boundaries in mind for what you will and will not tolerate and if they still are not nice than just leave.

If they are nice and they are getting on in age be careful for them to not use you as a care taker after years of abuse.

Its what happened to my mother she got disowned and treated badly but when they needed her all the sudden and wanted to use her they played nice so dont fall for that.
 
You can recconect but have boundaries in mind for what you will and will not tolerate and if they still are not nice than just leave.

If they are nice and they are getting on in age be careful for them to not use you as a care taker after years of abuse.

Its what happened to my mother she got disowned and treated badly but when they needed her all the sudden and wanted to use her they played nice so dont fall for that.
True they are getting super kind and soft after ghosting them for 4 years. But it's sad a 4 year ghosting is what took to change their behaviour, although I suspect if I rekindle they'll just go back to their old ways
 
True they are getting super kind and soft after ghosting them for 4 years. But it's sad a 4 year ghosting is what took to change their behaviour, although I suspect if I rekindle they'll just go back to their old ways
It could be a change of heart and it is sad.
I would just walk out at any immediate sign of unreasonable behaviour. I would not hesitate personally.
 
They will never change. Do the bare minimum if you want to contact them its your choice but dont expect miracles from them. Eventually they will retun to their old tricks.

You have to accept things for what they are.

But at the end of the day contatct them for a while and see what happens that way you get closure and you will see their true colours. But dont be surprised at what you discover.
 
I would have kept going in life without ever meeting them again if I were you. Seems like they would be even more agressive with you if you came back because " you think you can just leave and come back as you please??". Parents always say that shit
 
I would have kept going in life without ever meeting them again if I were you. Seems like they would be even more agressive with you if you came back because " you think you can just leave and come back as you please??". Parents always say that shit

True. I think I’ll avoid them. Can’t deal with anymore passive aggressive behaviour
 

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