I'm not diagnosed, but it cannot be coincidence that I ONLY am able to connect with people who are either diagnosed autists or suspect they have autism.
Paradoxically, as a child I had more of what you would consider autism symptoms (I did not want to be touched, I had a strange interest for auto brands, dyspraxia) but at the same time also friends. Now I don't have any of the "good" symptoms of autism like being able to sense small smells, hear fine sounds etc. Just "bad" ones like extremely bad social skills, always annoying people and sometimes hyperfixating on stuff. But it's not a complete hyperfixation. So for example often I only do something after work, like three hours of porn organising/downloading or three hours of playing a repetitive video game, but I don't do it during or instead of work. And it's also only within a routine. So typically on weekdays but not on the weekend. And maybe stimming, but I think many people do things like it because I just noticed that after writing a sentence, I repeatedly made a certain hand movement from one hand in the other hand where essentially I tap the nails of one hand against the other hand. How common is this for you? It is already stimming associated with autism or is it normal behaviour to curb nervousness? Now I just have 1.5 online friends.
For inceldom, it always prevents me from getting closer to woman. I squandered my only chance I ever had because I did not know how to properly initiate a relationship. Someone went on a date with me and I did not even get a kiss, but also because I had no clue on how to even get there. Probably she wasn't that interested anyway, but even if she was I would not have known how to proceed. Ok, and I know it sounds awful, but on the one hand I badly want sex but on the other hand I am also really afraid of it. I could escortcel, it's legal here, and I don't do it because I am afraid. Afraid of STDs, afraid of everything. I am not skilled in anything and I would not be able to perform.
I would need an autistic girlfriend but they are usual either asexual or already together with someone NT or an autistic Chad. With anyone non-autistic I could probably not have a functional relationship even if we both would try and were attracted to each other (which would never happen).
