The two are very strongly correlated so it is very easy to confuse the cause of your unhappiness, but I genuinely believe that we're unhappy because we're ugly, not because we're incel. If magically everything changed and we lived in a reverse-world where men were the hypergamus ones and ugly incels could fuck any women just like how any women can fuck Chad, we'd be just as unhappy because we are ugly. For this thread, I will reference a lot of fictional characters. The fact that these characters are fictional is irrelevant, all that matters is our percieved reaction to them, and whether we envy, pity, or despise them as that will reveal our true desires and inner psychology.
To reference literature, Brave New World is a perfect example of what I am speaking of. In the book Brave New World, Bernard is a qausi-deformed technocrat who's amongst a sea of perfectually beautiful genetically engineered people. His test-tube when he was created in the artificial laboratory screwed up and alcohol got in his test-tube. Because of this Bernards face is slightly imperfect, but relative to the perfect people around him he stands out like a sore thumb. Bernard is unattractive and ugly but still gets lots of sex because in the Brave New World universe humans are designed to be very sexual and non-discriminatory (sex is treated like hanging out with someone, so as long as Bernard could make a few friends he could get sex, although certain Chad characters like Hemholtz could get it more easily). Bernard has casual sex with his friend Lelina all the time, and has even more casual sex with his co-worker friends in their drug infused orgy meetings. Down below is Bernard and Lelina
Bernard is still very unhappy. Bernard KNOWS HES UGLY. If you are noticeably ugly, sex won't make you happy. You'll always know you are inferior just by your very nature. Looks are the truest marker of superiority. No matter how rich you are, how smart you are, how much sex you can status-max yourself into getting, you'll still be unhappy because what really matters is your appearance. Rich people pay MILLIONS OF DOLLARS to pay for butlers and servants and hotel staff to treat them with great respect, if you're attractive, people treat you with that respect anyways. Unless you have good looks, every single social interaction will be a battle to prove your worth "YES IM UGLY BUT BUT IM SMART BUT IM RICH BUT IM TALANTED". You look pathetic. Nothing will compensate for looks.
Take another example, George Costanza from Seinfeld. George has sex with Stacies all the time in that show, sure it's in the 90s, and sure it's still very unrealistic, but notice how you'll never really envy George. He's seen as a loser despite making good money working for the Yankees, having multiple Stacy girlfriends, and being friends with a famous comedian. Why? The answer is obvious: George is short, ugly, and balding. Objectively speaking, George is highly successful in every way except for his physique, yet he's still laughed at as a stereotypical loser. You don't envy George, you pity him for being pathetic. This is the life of an ugly man, you will exist to be pitied or mocked and your life will be riddled with unhappiness even if you do manage to sleep with Stacies. That won't make you happy, you'll always be unhappy for being ugly.
This is why unattractive women are still very unhappy. Even if they can be pumped and dumped by Chad, that doesn't satisfy them. Often they scapegoat their unhappiness on not being able to achieve a long-term-relationship with Chad. I think this is a fallacy. I bet even if unattractive women could get in a long term relationship with Chad they'd still be unhappy. They'd be unhappy because they're ugly, they are objectively inferior in the most important regard to their attractive counterparts. No matter how well you are treated by the physical world, no matter how perfect your life seems in other regards, if you are unattractive you'll always have a sense of inferiority.
To look at my point from the reverse side. You know according to Batman lore, Bruce Wayne was a virgin well into his 20s? And it makes sense too, he went to an all-boys private highschool, was heavily guarded by staff growing up so he couldn't really go out and party. He spent his early to mid 20s at a martial arts training camp in Asia with a bunch of men. Earliest he would have lost his virginity is 28 when he came back to America. Bruce Wayne missed out on """"teen love"""" and even early 20s romance. Do you feel bad for Bruce Wayne? Do you envy him? Do you think he should "rope" for missing out these "milestones"? No, you probably don't think that. It's because Bruce Wayne is a tall attractive male so it doesn't matter if he was incel for the first 28 years of his life. Would you pity the guy below if you found out he was a KHHV until he was 28? He'll forget about that the moment he gets back to Gotham and connects with his social circle. Getting sex or not getting sex is a COPE because it's IN THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY for this condition to change, it's IN THE REALM OF IMPOSSIBILITY for you to ever become attractive. This is why saying your lack of sex is what causes your unhappiness is a COPE, it's your ugliness.
TLDR - Lack of Sex Isn't What's Bothering You, It's Being Ugly AKA Objectively Genetically Inferior And Achieving Sex Won't Satisfy Your Insatisfaction.
To reference literature, Brave New World is a perfect example of what I am speaking of. In the book Brave New World, Bernard is a qausi-deformed technocrat who's amongst a sea of perfectually beautiful genetically engineered people. His test-tube when he was created in the artificial laboratory screwed up and alcohol got in his test-tube. Because of this Bernards face is slightly imperfect, but relative to the perfect people around him he stands out like a sore thumb. Bernard is unattractive and ugly but still gets lots of sex because in the Brave New World universe humans are designed to be very sexual and non-discriminatory (sex is treated like hanging out with someone, so as long as Bernard could make a few friends he could get sex, although certain Chad characters like Hemholtz could get it more easily). Bernard has casual sex with his friend Lelina all the time, and has even more casual sex with his co-worker friends in their drug infused orgy meetings. Down below is Bernard and Lelina
Bernard is still very unhappy. Bernard KNOWS HES UGLY. If you are noticeably ugly, sex won't make you happy. You'll always know you are inferior just by your very nature. Looks are the truest marker of superiority. No matter how rich you are, how smart you are, how much sex you can status-max yourself into getting, you'll still be unhappy because what really matters is your appearance. Rich people pay MILLIONS OF DOLLARS to pay for butlers and servants and hotel staff to treat them with great respect, if you're attractive, people treat you with that respect anyways. Unless you have good looks, every single social interaction will be a battle to prove your worth "YES IM UGLY BUT BUT IM SMART BUT IM RICH BUT IM TALANTED". You look pathetic. Nothing will compensate for looks.
Take another example, George Costanza from Seinfeld. George has sex with Stacies all the time in that show, sure it's in the 90s, and sure it's still very unrealistic, but notice how you'll never really envy George. He's seen as a loser despite making good money working for the Yankees, having multiple Stacy girlfriends, and being friends with a famous comedian. Why? The answer is obvious: George is short, ugly, and balding. Objectively speaking, George is highly successful in every way except for his physique, yet he's still laughed at as a stereotypical loser. You don't envy George, you pity him for being pathetic. This is the life of an ugly man, you will exist to be pitied or mocked and your life will be riddled with unhappiness even if you do manage to sleep with Stacies. That won't make you happy, you'll always be unhappy for being ugly.
This is why unattractive women are still very unhappy. Even if they can be pumped and dumped by Chad, that doesn't satisfy them. Often they scapegoat their unhappiness on not being able to achieve a long-term-relationship with Chad. I think this is a fallacy. I bet even if unattractive women could get in a long term relationship with Chad they'd still be unhappy. They'd be unhappy because they're ugly, they are objectively inferior in the most important regard to their attractive counterparts. No matter how well you are treated by the physical world, no matter how perfect your life seems in other regards, if you are unattractive you'll always have a sense of inferiority.
To look at my point from the reverse side. You know according to Batman lore, Bruce Wayne was a virgin well into his 20s? And it makes sense too, he went to an all-boys private highschool, was heavily guarded by staff growing up so he couldn't really go out and party. He spent his early to mid 20s at a martial arts training camp in Asia with a bunch of men. Earliest he would have lost his virginity is 28 when he came back to America. Bruce Wayne missed out on """"teen love"""" and even early 20s romance. Do you feel bad for Bruce Wayne? Do you envy him? Do you think he should "rope" for missing out these "milestones"? No, you probably don't think that. It's because Bruce Wayne is a tall attractive male so it doesn't matter if he was incel for the first 28 years of his life. Would you pity the guy below if you found out he was a KHHV until he was 28? He'll forget about that the moment he gets back to Gotham and connects with his social circle. Getting sex or not getting sex is a COPE because it's IN THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY for this condition to change, it's IN THE REALM OF IMPOSSIBILITY for you to ever become attractive. This is why saying your lack of sex is what causes your unhappiness is a COPE, it's your ugliness.
TLDR - Lack of Sex Isn't What's Bothering You, It's Being Ugly AKA Objectively Genetically Inferior And Achieving Sex Won't Satisfy Your Insatisfaction.
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