Humans are social creatures. We need affection from others to go on. You absolutely need food, you need water, you need air, you need shelter, and you need family, you need love. Without love, a baby literally dies, literally, if they don't get affection from their parents, mother, father, sibiling, etc. they die. It's as essential as food to your life. You can eat the best food in the world, have the best sleep, live in the nicest house with the nicest garden, live wherever you want, you can live in a big super fancy house like Paul Celadeno in a beautiful environment surrounded by nature, but you will be super miserable and extremely unhealthy, and just die of loneliness. It's as essential as food to you, love and family. Social isolation, loneliness, living alone all significantly increase the risk of an early death, it's as bad as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. This human need you have for affection doesn't go away when you become an adult, this desire for people to love you and to be around you. I would be very happy if I could just for one day hold a girls hand and walk around in nature with her. I usually spend my time coping by walking around in nature or anywhere that looks nice, like there's this lake near where I live. This is a cope that Elliot Rodger also did. We have very different music tastes, but I relate to him in that we share the same cope. I wish I could go on a date with a girl doing what I usually do to cope, I think it would make me feel a lot better for quite a while. I understand that girls don't wanna have sex/reproduce with me, but I don't think I would be asking for much if I could be accompanied by a girl for one day. I wish she was a girl who wouldn't judge me for my flaws though, for I would feel very uncomfortable knowing she would be judging me for looking ugly, having deformed hands, having an ugly smile, being scrawny, having a bad frame, etc. I wish for her to be a girl who would look at me with a smile of love whenever I felt undeserving of love. Maybe I can travel to Japan one day, and rent a girlfriend, or maybe have sex with a prostitute there. I don't really want a prostitute though, I think it wouldn't feel good knowing she doesn't love me, and it would probably hurt when she eventually left me to have sex with other numerous amounts of men. But then again, I would also feel bad after the girl, I spent time with on a date, with leaves me. But, at least for those moments, it would feel good. The memory of the experience would probably be something I could look behind at and feel good whenever I feel bad. Recently, I have been only having bad days. It feels like my life is a constant struggle of pushing a boulder up a never-ending mountain, and every day a hateful being trips me, causing the boulder to crush me and roll back all the way down for me to renew my cycle of torment. Anyways, thank you for listening to me rant. I'm just so sick of everything.
