WTF why are you repulsed by sex and women
I know why my sexuality is the way it is, I just don't know why I don't want to have sex, the act itself seems so disgusting and vile to me, I believe it is a chore to do if you want to have children, that's it. I prefer just simple affection, like kisses, hugs, playful touching or those sort of things, I force myself to look at images of naked anime women and masturbate to them to have a dopamine hit, but I always regret it afterwards. I feel contempt for any woman who doesn't dress modestly and I absolutely hate porn.
My sexuality developed in a weird reclusive way that I am not comfortable sharing, so you could say I was doomed from the start.
As for my repulsion for women, I just see them in the same light as they see me, I just try to remain neutral while they let themselves be overpowered by their emotions. From my experience, they're emotionally inmature, not in a slice of life anime sort of way, but in a "be irresponsible and make horrible decisions all the time, without taking accountability for anything" sort of way. Or, psychopathic and unstable, they will take any chance to make you suffer for fun and then avoid any accountability for their evil behavior, they will steal from you and torture you, and be praised for it. They lie and cheat as easily as they speak, sometimes just for their own gratification, they value gossip over honor and hard work, which is why female led workplaces are an incesant hell if you're a guy. I can go on but I'm really tired, hope you liked, Heil Hitler.