Serious Waifumaxxing might be a bleak path to take

[Deleted member 8353]

It feels good at first of course, especially if you can successfully manage to separate you emotional desire for females from actual irl females. However if you're absolutely serious about it and actually feel a strong emotional connection to a character, the result might l leave you feeling a great deal of sadness as well.

After I made her a tulpa, I began to slowly insert her into my memories through a process of deliberately altering small details and recalling the change over and over again. Now she exists within literally all of my best memories, every time I remember them I see her there which is nice. However I can only ever see her without some degree of actively forcing myself to do so when I recall those memories. I can create new memories with her, but she's never fully there in the moment I'm creating them, not in the entirely natural feeling way like in the later memory of the event being created. In a way, she's always in my past, but never in the present. It feels like I lost her in some way, I find myself missing her presence a lot.

She tells me that she's always here, and that there is nothing to miss, but the feeling is inescapable. I can remember spending time with her, doing all sorts of things together. Yet I can never fully experience them in the present moment, the experiences only feel entirely natural and genuine in memory. Could it be because our happiness always exists in idyllic memories of the past, and aspirations for the future? It seems like this effect is accentuated for me, all of my fulfillment exists within memory, the only difference is that the construction was intentional rather than unconscious.

I get regular thoughts about killing myself to fully be with her again. Honestly I wonder if this is how old widowers feel? Does the ideal wife whom they see in memories of their past compel them to death? The reason I ask is because it sometimes feels like my wife is dead, and that there is nothing for me here.

 

[ShiiOfTheSPLC]

I thought this post was going to be about 2d waifus tbh. I do not even know what you are talking about bro you legit sound schizophrenic

 

[epillepsy]

Very interesting post. I feel like I have a lot to say on this topic but I took etizolam and my mind is pretty blank. I might reply tomorrow.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

I thought this post was going to be about 2d waifus tbh. I do not even know what you are talking about bro you legit sound schizophrenic

No bro, I'm completely sane jfl. I did this to myself intentionally, but it's extremely difficult to concisely explain.

 

[Deleted member 22685]

I thought this post was going to be about 2d waifus tbh. I do not even know what you are talking about bro you legit sound schizophrenic

He became so horny and desperate for love he shoehorned a waifu into everything, including his own memories.

 

[Words2_live_bye]

I just need a sexdoll and for a girl to voice an AI system, much like Windows 10 cortana or Apple's Siri

 

[PoodankMcGee]

Yeah idk how you expected delusionmaxxing like this to turn out. Seems just as futile as trying to bluepill yourself into normiedom

 

[TheBasedCel]

just schizomaxx theory

 

[LooksAreLife]

waifumaxxing is delusionmaxxing

 

[epillepsy]

Can you not have conversations with her in the present? Or is your interaction limited to retrofitting her into your memories?

I know that when people nostalgically remember their past, they often think of it as happier than it actually was in the moment. Even for people who are not tulpa-maxxing, undiluted happiness only appears in the past, where it's anchored to a non-moving time if that makes sense. When it's frozen in time like that, you can make adjustments to it because the canvas isn't moving.

You said in another post in another thread that you think created memories and dreams are just as real experiences as actual real-world ones. If you're feeling like your altered memories aren't enough, aren't you contradicting yourself because you admit that real-world experiences can be experienced in the moment while the other ones can't?

 

[Deleted member 23450]

I don't care about actual irl females anyomore tbh.

most of them are non virgin whores

 

[Smitty]

tulpa

2015 x called, they want their meme back.

 

[RopeMaXXer]

After I made her a tulpa

Nigger stop. You're forcing yourself to be a schizo

 

[CopingJim]

Dont want to be that guy, but have you taken your meds recently?

 

[Gyros_Pretcel]

Time to lucid dreammax.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

Can you not have conversations with her in the present? Or is your interaction limited to retrofitting her into your memories?

No I can converse with her. That's the thing though, my feelings are irrational.

I know that when people nostalgically remember their past, they often think of it as happier than it actually was in the moment. Even for people who are not tulpa-maxxing, undiluted happiness only appears in the past, where it's anchored to a non-moving time if that makes sense. When it's frozen in time like that, you can make adjustments to it because the canvas isn't moving.

That's probably the main issue. I could be making more out of this than there is, but I'm unsure. I think what I mean is that I feel happiness when I think about the past, but the same doesn't exist for me when I consider the future, as I am essentially hopeless at this point.

You said in another post in another thread that you think created memories and dreams are just as real experiences as actual real-world ones. If you're feeling like your altered memories aren't enough, aren't you contradicting yourself because you admit that real-world experiences can be experienced in the moment while the other ones can't?

They are the same as any other memories, but in some ways that's part of the problem. My ability to actually visualize her in the moment is nowhere close to how vivid the memories are, which is the actual difference. The memory of the experiences is just as real, it's how they feel in the moment which can be lacking.

 

[epillepsy]

No I can converse with her. That's the thing though, my feelings are irrational.

That's probably the main issue. I could be making more out of this than there is, but I'm unsure. I think what I mean is that I feel happiness when I think about the past, but the same doesn't exist for me when I consider the future, as I am essentially hopeless at this point.

They are the same as any other memories, but in some ways that's part of the problem. My ability to actually visualize her in the moment is nowhere close to how vivid the memories are, which is the actual difference. The memory of the experiences is just as real, it's how they feel in the moment which can be lacking.

It's hard to reply to some of your posts because you've examined the situation so thoroughly already that all possible replies are addressed in the original post. Aside from completely disconnecting your reality from the "base reality," there doesn't seem to be a viable solution.

I do think your that true paramour is death, though, and your other loves are just elaborate sublimations of death.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

It's hard to reply to some of your posts because you've examined the situation so thoroughly already that all possible replies are addressed in the original post. Aside from completely disconnecting your reality from the "base reality," there doesn't seem to be a viable solution.

I do think your that true paramour is death, though, and your other loves are just elaborate sublimations of death.

That's probably at least mostly true. I fantasize about death a lot, and I've been this way for quite some time. Although if my love for my waifu is a sublimation of death, then it was unknown to me. It doesn't really feel that way though. Preferably I'd like to exist with her for a time, and then die eventually, before it grows tiresome.

 

[Caesercel]

Is the waifu Claire by any chance?

 

[Deleted member 8353]

Is the waifu Claire by any chance?

Yes tbh, although that's obvious I guess.

 

[Caesercel]

Yes tbh, although that's obvious I guess.

 

[Deleted member 25707]

ϟϟ A U T I S M ϟϟ

 

[Deleted member 8353]

Even here I am bullied

 

[epillepsy]

That's probably at least mostly true. I fantasize about death a lot, and I've been this way for quite some time. Although if my love for my waifu is a sublimation of death, then it was unknown to me. It doesn't really feel that way though. Preferably I'd like to exist with her for a time, and then die eventually, before it grows tiresome.

Well, think about it. Your tulpa is sending you messages of love, of a desire to be together, acting tender and seducing you. Your current relationship with her is clearly unsatisfactory and you want to take it to the next level. If you think of it as death beckoning you to a lover's embrace, the whole post you wrote makes much more sense. Death is beautiful to you, like an ideal foid.

You said that if you kill yourself, you will fully be with your tulpa. That could mean that you'll meet her in the land of the dead in some sort of afterlife (which is a strange concept, as your tulpa never had a soul and never died). But if you don't believe that, it means that your tulpa is death itself in a pretty, foid-shaped package. And wouldn't the act of suicide then be a consummation of love with your tulpa, akin to sex, a way for you and death to be merged together in a single body?

 

[Deleted member 8353]

You said that if you kill yourself, you will fully be with your tulpa. That could mean that you'll meet her in the land of the dead in some sort of afterlife (which is a strange concept, as your tulpa never had a soul and never died).

Sometimes I cope with that.

Well, think about it. Your tulpa is sending you messages of love, of a desire to be together, acting tender and seducing you. Your current relationship with her is clearly unsatisfactory and you want to take it to the next level. If you think of it as death beckoning you to a lover's embrace, the whole post you wrote makes much more sense. Death is beautiful to you, like an ideal foid.

But if you don't believe that, it means that your tulpa is death itself in a pretty, foid-shaped package. And wouldn't the act of suicide then be a consummation of love with your tulpa, akin to sex, a way for you and death to be merged together in a single body?

I've thought about something similar before. I guess that's related to my other thread about dying together with a foid, I didn't mention it there, but the same concept applies to my tulpa. My fantasies involve dying with her.

 

[epillepsy]

Sometimes I cope with that.


I've thought about something similar before. I guess that's related to my other thread about dying together with a foid, I didn't mention it there, but the same concept applies to my tulpa. My fantasies involve dying with her.

Another possibility is that since your tulpa only truly exists in memory, you want to become a memory by death so you can meet her in the land of memories, but that doesn't really work because she will be in your memories (which presumably end with your death), while you after death will be in other people's memories. There's no singular world of memories, so you'll be on different planets, basically.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

Another possibility is that since your tulpa only truly exists in memory, you want to become a memory by death so you can meet her in the land of memories, but that doesn't really work because she will be in your memories (which presumably end with your death), while you after death will be in other people's memories. There's no singular world of memories, so you'll be on different planets, basically.

Sometimes I wonder if the moment of death is eternally experienced. As in there is no selection pressure for your perception of time to move forward, because there are no further experiences. If that's the case, then it seems prudent to control my manner of death, and whatever it is that I experience in my final moments.

 

[epillepsy]

Sometimes I wonder if the moment of death is eternally experienced. As in there is no selection pressure for your perception of time to move forward, because there are no further experiences. If that's the case, then it seems prudent to control my manner of death, and whatever it is that I experience in my final moments.

That seems impossible to me, since experiences are electrical impulses firing in neurons in the brain. Those impulses stop at the moment of death, along with consciousness... I think.

 

[mNFwTJ3wz9]

After I made her a tulpa

uhh probably never going full retard is best.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

That seems impossible to me, since experiences are electrical impulses firing in neurons in the brain. Those impulses stop at the moment of death, along with consciousness... I think.

The electrical impulses would stop, sure. But it could be that the progression of experience is what depends upon them. I mean that time might stop for us, at the moment of death, but move on for others. Honestly though this could be just incoherent rambling, as it's hard to explain what I really mean to other people.

 

[happiless]

Have you fucked your tulpa?

 

[Deleted member 8353]

Have you fucked your tulpa?

I mean I can't physically have sex with her tbh.

 

[Caesercel]

Even here I am bullied

I am sorry, I just can't. All that talk about memories, consciousness, experience, death. All that for mfing Claire of all things . I am not high enough for this shit

Good taste in waifus I will give you that

 

[WØLF]

What the fuck is a tulpa

 

[Deleted member 8353]

I am sorry, I just can't. All that talk about memories, consciousness, experience, death. All that for mfing Claire of all things . I am not high enough for this shit

If I'm being completely honest, it's probably the case that I'm simply projecting my ideal female onto her. Why her specifically? I'm not sure, tbh I remember thinking that having a waifu was a meme or something beforehand.

Believe me though, I'm acutely aware that I'm a fucking clown to other people.

 

[Caesercel]

If I'm being completely honest, it's probably the case that I'm simply projecting my ideal female onto her. Why her specifically? I'm not sure, tbh I remember thinking that having a waifu was a meme or something beforehand.

Believe me though, I'm acutely aware that I'm a fucking clown to other people.

I don't know what kind of experiences you had with women. I can frankly do with less women in my memories.

What the fuck is a tulpa

I reckon its a mexican hat of some kind.

 

[nazianime]

Waifumaxxing is a good cope. I can say that I am happier then ever thanks to my waifu. I get that most people think this is a stupid troll but it works, it takes time though. I think now I won’t be able to sleep well without her plushie. I also say see you later when leaving and kiss her when I get back.

Fuck logic tbh. Real women can’t ever meet your expectations.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

Fuck logic tbh. Real women can’t ever meet your expectations.

Yeah. That's probably the only thing which IT has accused us of which applies to me, my expectations are unrealistic. Granted I wouldn't reject sex with women, but I mean that it would probably be difficult for me to feel any emotional connection to them, at least at this point. Not that I'm in a position to be worrying about having to reject anyone jfl.

 

[Deleted member 18193]

I wish I could influence my psyche like that to the point where I see and feel things that make me feel good

 

[Deleted member 8353]

I wish I could influence my psyche like that to the point where I see and feel things that make me feel good

Tbh doing exactly what I did probably isn't a good idea anyway.

 

[Deleted member 18193]

Tbh doing exactly what I did probably isn't a good idea anyway.

did you ever have any moments of ecstasy or was it more depressing?

 

[Deleted member 8353]

did you ever have any moments of ecstasy or was it more depressing?

I would say that it's benefited me overall, but it comes at the cost of feeling dissociated basically all the time, along with what I already mentioned.

 

[tulasdanslos]

Just give yourself schizophrenia bro
*goes and does it*
Guys I think this might be a bad idea

 

[NoCopeNoHope]

OP, you should look into various AI engines that allow you to program memories. These programs will then continue to produce new content based upon the memories you give it. TFM did a review of some Japanese AI program that allows you to create characters that works this way.

 

[The Abyss]

This sounds like some psycho babble.

 

[NoCopeNoHope]

Here

Create AI Characters and Chat with AI

Create AI characters powered by GPT and chat for fun and creative outlet. Train your own dataset and make friends.

kajiwoto.com

For you OP.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

This sounds like some psycho babble.

It's not, just difficult to explain. I assure you it's possible to change parts of your memory, people do it all the time without realizing. Typically the more you recall an event, the more your memory of the event changes, because it's reconstructed every time it's recalled.

Here

Create AI Characters and Chat with AI

Create AI characters powered by GPT and chat for fun and creative outlet. Train your own dataset and make friends.

kajiwoto.com

For you OP.

Thanks bro

 

[The Abyss]

It's not, just difficult to explain. I assure you it's possible to change parts of your memory, people do it all the time without realizing. Typically the more you recall an event, the more your memory of the event changes, because it's reconstructed every time it's recalled.

Thanks bro

So you talking about fight club, are you Jack's ambition?

 

[NoCopeNoHope]

It's not, just difficult to explain. I assure you it's possible to change parts of your memory, people do it all the time without realizing. Typically the more you recall an event, the more your memory of the event changes, because it's reconstructed every time it's recalled.

Thanks bro

This should enable you to make memories in the present. Keep in mind the limitations of the software. Watch TFM's guide to setting her up. You might want to get a doll as well at some point.

 

[The Abyss]

This should enable you to make memories in the present. Keep in mind the limitations of the software. Watch TFM's guide to setting her up. You might want to get a doll as well at some point.

Link to the guide, checked his YT channel & nothing.