H
HateCurry
Banned
-
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2022
- Posts
- 4,303
I'm a person who has been pretty much poor at certain times of his life and I starved and had arguments and sometimes got my stuff snatched away by my parents, now I can pretend this made me a better person, but now looking back, I really think it turned out horribly.
Sometimes life will offer you unexpected gifts and you're expected to say Thank You to whoever's giving you that gift. Me being a person who's just content and wants to be left alone doesn't really like that attention (especially from people I despise or have a horrible history), I remember my mom just this morning ordered me a pastry and I was expected to say, "Thanks" and "I love you" but in reality I really didn't want a pastry and I didn't want to feel like a loser because I didn't say thank you.
I never wanted a pastry, I'm good with being treated nice and having a place to talk, if you don't ask me or interact with me, don't expect me to love you over gifts, you simply don't know me. Yes, money is good but when you buy gifts and not what I really want, you're diving into this endless stream of compromises to satisfy me, it's like a break up long gone yet you keep paying a girl money, it's fucking ridiculous, fucking give me sex or fuck off, I don't want shit from you. Just leave me alone.
So look, first I thought of this as low ambition in life but it's really not, it's getting "gifts" that you don't consider a gift and then being expected to open up yourself when they steal treat you fake.
Certain times you grow up, certain times you realize all this shit is fake: the money all this fake love and kisses.
I don't even want kisses anymore, I know those are fake and she's tolerating this shit. I'm sorry I just can't be satisfied without raw and pure love because I can see through too much.
So yeah, this way I want certain things that are simply unattainable (for me) and this is I guess just another reason why I hate this world and everything in this world, including my brain and myself.
Sometimes life will offer you unexpected gifts and you're expected to say Thank You to whoever's giving you that gift. Me being a person who's just content and wants to be left alone doesn't really like that attention (especially from people I despise or have a horrible history), I remember my mom just this morning ordered me a pastry and I was expected to say, "Thanks" and "I love you" but in reality I really didn't want a pastry and I didn't want to feel like a loser because I didn't say thank you.
I never wanted a pastry, I'm good with being treated nice and having a place to talk, if you don't ask me or interact with me, don't expect me to love you over gifts, you simply don't know me. Yes, money is good but when you buy gifts and not what I really want, you're diving into this endless stream of compromises to satisfy me, it's like a break up long gone yet you keep paying a girl money, it's fucking ridiculous, fucking give me sex or fuck off, I don't want shit from you. Just leave me alone.
So look, first I thought of this as low ambition in life but it's really not, it's getting "gifts" that you don't consider a gift and then being expected to open up yourself when they steal treat you fake.
Certain times you grow up, certain times you realize all this shit is fake: the money all this fake love and kisses.
I don't even want kisses anymore, I know those are fake and she's tolerating this shit. I'm sorry I just can't be satisfied without raw and pure love because I can see through too much.
So yeah, this way I want certain things that are simply unattainable (for me) and this is I guess just another reason why I hate this world and everything in this world, including my brain and myself.