Well done, you have accurately captured the essence of modern friendship dynamics. I often wonder if friendships have always been so shallow, just focusing on validating each other regardless of the truth. It's something I observe more and more frequently in my everyday life and which frankly saddens me because I realize finding someone that you can have a meaningful relationship with, a relationship that transcends physical appearance, transcends your place in the social hierarchy, transcends materialism, a relationship in which both parties are loyal to each other and won't backstab each other for self-gain, is either extremely rare or impossible altogether.
And although you may disagree with me on this, I think wanting to find a life-long companion is a major human drive. (Obviously not as important as food and shelter as Maslow's heirarchy of needs states) because how can you truly achieve a sense of belonging, a good sense of esteem and reach self-actualization if all of your relationships are based on a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" basis instead of an honest one.
There are people like you. They're just not the majority. The majorities indicate the cookie-cutter condition of the biology of humanity. People are individuals, but they're often just bots as well. The cookie-cutter inclination makes up the majority. Variations are outweighed by the sames. And the prominence of the sames is often mightier/ greater than anything which varies. With rare occasion. The powerful are on top of the powerless because of distinguishments. But even they have things which are similar to the norm that tone the environment.
The MEM, Most Encounterable Majority will tone the environment. Either because people are dense to it, or because they fear what happens if they don't fall in line with it. And that fear will scatter. Women are trendy.
It's natural for a species to develop in unison to those of its kind. Especially mammals. Monkeys if they aren't as mighty, or strong as the loudest in the herd will be disliked. It's a survival mechanism built upon a solid wall of unbroken tendency for a thousand generations for you to follow the majority. If 90% of monkeys are loud and obnoxious then what do a few exceptions matter? the overtendency is already made plain.
And the overtendency of humanity is filled with dense, drunk, unthinking, irritable, socioluxury seeking retards.
Majorities show the over-tendencies of humanity.
It's the evened-out-finality, EOF, that human beings forget about love, companionship, and consideration for the sake of socioluxuriance, especially when people cannot be what they want in life. People want more often the socioluxuriance of their ideal identity. Makes everyone wand grandness. Hence that's why people seek approval from people who bear resemblance to the small/ esoteric/ power circle they want to have in most people's ideal identity.
True friendship holds tenderness, and joy, not ambition.
Again, lonely people especially crave this. Because the novelty of having a friend may give socioluxuriance. Often being a good friend to people with tenderness is often confused for being a good person/ being loving and nice when they just have a socioluxuriance deficit. This is why often the most insecure people who are the most friendly are probably weak people who will lie on the occaision to upscale.
It's like there is a pyramid scheme gradient of people who are of value depending on your self esteem/ socioluxury value. The sociosubstance pyramid of priority. The uglier you are, the more you feel you need others just to have them. The hotter you are, the less company matters and you seek quality company. And so, begins the chasers, and the choosers.
To answer your question of whether or not you can achieve relationships honestly... a lot of people think the world is built on lies as it is, and don't care for virtue. So they don't necessarily care whether or not
What you said about humanity being good to one another, and valuing a relationship for honesty wouldn't have that virtuous feel if you didn't underlyingly think humanity did it because it was profitable, not virtuous. Just proportion the amount of people who do anything virtuously vs unvirtuously.
I am betting if you're incel the novelty of having someone makes you inflate the idea of real companionship more to just be comfortable with that. But the cycle of social bitterness makes people want to be prominent from bullying. Where, people who have had high hopes for life will try and feel they have to fight back against the society that denied them it furiously. The more of what people expected, then the more someone feels it's owed usually when they do't receive it. It's the way of humanity to compare themselves to the best, and to assume the worst. Comparing themselves to the best gives entitlement, gives insecurity, and assuming the worst + being insecure gives them consistent fuel to be motivated by negative emotions, and be victims, and assuming the worst is safe. People must often assume the worst to be safe in very dangerous/ high stake desires.
