Fellow Catholics, especially those in more trad-leaning or young adult parishes, I need some honest advice and perspective. Over the past few years I've noticed a real uptick in men who seem to be on the spectrum (or at least very socially awkward/isolated) showing up in Catholic spaces. Some are clearly devout and sincere. Others carry what feels like heavy incel baggage – resentment toward women, blackpilled attitudes, or just a general inability to read the room.
I know the Church is a hospital for sinners, and we're all called to radical charity. Autism isn't a moral failing, and plenty of great saints probably would have been diagnosed today. But practically speaking, I'm finding it really hard to maintain that charity in parish life. Conversations get derailed into intense monologues about theology, politics, or niche grievances. Social events feel heavier and more awkward. The lighthearted, joyful camaraderie that used to characterize young adult groups or men's Bible studies gets dampened. It sometimes feels like the culture shifts from "Catholic community" to "support group for the alienated."
I catch myself avoiding certain guys or dreading events where they'll dominate the vibe. Then I feel guilty because we're supposed to bear with one another and evangelize the wounded. But charity isn't just "be nice and never notice patterns." Is there a charitable way to address this without pretending it isn't happening? Have others noticed the same trend? How do we balance welcoming broken people with preserving a healthy parish culture that attracts normal, well-adjusted families and single people?
This was fact checked by true incelistan Patriots!
