I think about the action (suicide) every single day, I mean, I log in daily to the home of the blackpills incels.is. Most times is just other people taking their lives, sometimes it is me taking my own life, just wandering what would happen. Of course it never ends in anything and is just me thinking, what if? But, today I was in the mood, I had found my pair of balls to pull the trigger and end this fucking curse. I hit a mental low so deep, that even if it was only for a few seconds, minutes, I would have pulled the trigger with no trembling and no doubts had I possessed a revolver at the time.
Today many things happened to me that most will call bad, yet they don't affect me the same way they do to most. For starters had an email conversation with my English teacher (a foid), where she tells me that I should drop the class because I had 11 absences with no opportunity of obtaining more than an F. This was an accumulation of days I LDAR due to depression and was absent due to an injury I sustained on my ACL. Part of the reason I don't like attending that class is because of the bluepilled liberalism the assignments focus on. The whole higher education is rigged to make you a normie or fake social outcast e.g. Hipsters and Vapefags. We incels are the only pieces of shit that will be forgotten forever. We aren't social outcasts, we are humanity's outcasts. Only good for one thing, and that's to be scapegoats. Someone to point the finger and blame.
Back to my day. I then went to my next class of the day, were the teacher hates me. How do I know you may ask. Well this guy ignores me in and out of class as much as possible every time we are forced to interact. At the least I'm not on his good side. And that's understandable, since he is a close minded normalfag and I radiate blackpills into the environment.
To bring this day to closure, I go to my night class. Now, it is here in this class where I had the urge to kill myself. Seeing how everyone had at least someone to talk to. It made me think that I've spent the same amount of time in that class as everyone else, yet I'm just there by myself unable to connect with these people. It wasn't the fact I wasn't talking to this people, fuck them normies, but who do I ever really connect and enjoy a legit conversation with. No one that's who. Fuck bluepilled faggots, I refuse to put on a social mask and give an act. (@blickpall How do you even put on an act for normies at raves if you're heavily blackpilled?) Only people I remotely like are blackpilled incels posting from hundreds or thousands of miles away on a forum. @Twisted
The feeling of loneliness I felt on that last class hit my feels hard, but only for so long. Nothing that happened today even bothered me more than a few seconds, not failing a class or dropping it, not being unfairly disliked, not even being alone. No, I'm used to this shit. I don't fear social prejudice for being outcasted. But all these events contributed towards what truly made me consider putting an end. By simply asking "Why the fuck am I even alive for?" and not getting an answer. I just wanted to check out from this existence I will never take full advantage of. Nothing I do will ever matter, I'm just a filler. At most I'll be a scapegoat. Of course I could become purplepilled and "escape", but then I would just be one more human resource and afraid of the system.
One day everything will be set for my suicide, I might take it or not. I might go ER or not. If I do take the opportunity, I'd simply like to ask you to spread the blackpill and expose the hypocrisy of our rigged society where the only thing that matters is genetic superiority. Not morals, not personality, not willpower, only those who have the best genes get to live like kings, and everyone else follows the herd or rots alone.
Today many things happened to me that most will call bad, yet they don't affect me the same way they do to most. For starters had an email conversation with my English teacher (a foid), where she tells me that I should drop the class because I had 11 absences with no opportunity of obtaining more than an F. This was an accumulation of days I LDAR due to depression and was absent due to an injury I sustained on my ACL. Part of the reason I don't like attending that class is because of the bluepilled liberalism the assignments focus on. The whole higher education is rigged to make you a normie or fake social outcast e.g. Hipsters and Vapefags. We incels are the only pieces of shit that will be forgotten forever. We aren't social outcasts, we are humanity's outcasts. Only good for one thing, and that's to be scapegoats. Someone to point the finger and blame.
Back to my day. I then went to my next class of the day, were the teacher hates me. How do I know you may ask. Well this guy ignores me in and out of class as much as possible every time we are forced to interact. At the least I'm not on his good side. And that's understandable, since he is a close minded normalfag and I radiate blackpills into the environment.
To bring this day to closure, I go to my night class. Now, it is here in this class where I had the urge to kill myself. Seeing how everyone had at least someone to talk to. It made me think that I've spent the same amount of time in that class as everyone else, yet I'm just there by myself unable to connect with these people. It wasn't the fact I wasn't talking to this people, fuck them normies, but who do I ever really connect and enjoy a legit conversation with. No one that's who. Fuck bluepilled faggots, I refuse to put on a social mask and give an act. (@blickpall How do you even put on an act for normies at raves if you're heavily blackpilled?) Only people I remotely like are blackpilled incels posting from hundreds or thousands of miles away on a forum. @Twisted
The feeling of loneliness I felt on that last class hit my feels hard, but only for so long. Nothing that happened today even bothered me more than a few seconds, not failing a class or dropping it, not being unfairly disliked, not even being alone. No, I'm used to this shit. I don't fear social prejudice for being outcasted. But all these events contributed towards what truly made me consider putting an end. By simply asking "Why the fuck am I even alive for?" and not getting an answer. I just wanted to check out from this existence I will never take full advantage of. Nothing I do will ever matter, I'm just a filler. At most I'll be a scapegoat. Of course I could become purplepilled and "escape", but then I would just be one more human resource and afraid of the system.
One day everything will be set for my suicide, I might take it or not. I might go ER or not. If I do take the opportunity, I'd simply like to ask you to spread the blackpill and expose the hypocrisy of our rigged society where the only thing that matters is genetic superiority. Not morals, not personality, not willpower, only those who have the best genes get to live like kings, and everyone else follows the herd or rots alone.
I think a lot of us are familiar with this feeling.
