Yeah, 26.
Still think your mother is the least bad of the poisons you can get as a subhuman cel.
"She knows I cannot have one anyway", a person, A WOMAN, being this self aware about the world, is rare.
Again, genuinely not trying to downplay your stuff with your mother, cuz I obviously don't know her, but having a mother and family members that gas you up "You are gorgeous! You are such a gentleman, I bet girls really want you. You will find someone someday". Is INFINITELY worse, then having a mother that just tells you like it is. The bitter reality of your situation.
It's complicated and "interesting"....... read this .......... the way she contradicts herself 180 degrees is INSANE
In the past she was extremely like this (not in these words, but it had the same meaning) "learn to be happy alone" "you'll be alone".
But she also often said how good I look (she also accounts for what I wear).
It's absolutely insane how much she contradicts herself (both directly and indirectly).
Sometimes it seems like she's saying I'm a great looking dude who can get a pretty gf, other times it's the exact opposite - either directly or implied (I told her, to test her, I want a pretty gf. She then said, "you'd rather have a pretty and bitchy gf instead of a nice one?" to which I replied "I want a nice and pretty gf".
She then used an idiom which meant "you can't have both" ("you can't have both the bread and the money" losely translated). Which means "chose 1"
Really?! She can't really think that. In fact I KNOW she doesn't think that.
So she's a LIAR! And despite her letting me live here and she cooking for me and buying food and clothes for me I think it's still very unfair. EITHER LIE OR TELL THE TRUTH. PICK ONE!
But in the past 2-3 years she has flip-flopped and fluctuated between
"you can get a pretty gf but you need to go outside. She won't just appear at the doorstep"
- to "the average looks of women and men in Switzerland is ugly" (so that kinds of puts things into perspective),
- "you're not the type to marry or have kids" to "a girl has to be thankful to have YOU"
- implying how I'm actually ugly ("clothes matter a lot to how a person looks")