I can't keep up. Another year has gone by and with it goes all my hopes of positive change. It was another full of battles and losses, bills and more and more frustration. I have given up on any social life. I spend my weekends on this forum. I keep my interactions with people at a minimum. I talk only when necessary and avoid sharing my personal life with normans. I've been labeled a weirdo because of my retired lifestyle, but that helps to keep people away. I'm not interested in anybody's life and I hope they are not interested in mine. I didn't make any friends, but that's ok. When you're ugly, people only use you to brag about their lives. I still remember when I used to visit relatives and they would sit on the couch blabbering away about my cousins' girlfriends. They would stop the conversation at intervals to ask me if I had got a girlfriend yet, and my negative answer would prompt them to resume their previous harangue about my cousins' fuckathon with his whores. It's true when we say no one understands our pain. We're the loneliest men on the planet. There exists an unconquerable desert inside of us, and it continues to grow as we live. Lord have mercy.
