SuicideFuel Time began to faster, but life remains emptiness.

[PoorLazarus]

I don’t know if this is normal or not, but at some point in my life I realized that every next year means nothing to me.
I remember the onset of 2017. That's all. According to my feelings, I still am and live in 2017. I did not even feel the onset of 2018, 2019 and 2020. I didn’t even feel that I lived in them, as if in those years I didn’t live at all.
Previously, each year felt like a separate full year, but starting from 2017, each subsequent year is absolutely nothing.
Also in 2016-2017, I noticed that the time I felt began to go in some strange way faster.
I am now 20 years old. In the summer of 2020 I will be 21 years old. And I still feel 18 years old when I turned so much in the summer of 2017.
I feel as if I have not existed for a long time, I'm like a spectator, like a ghost, not a player, not a user.

 

[muharremabi]

I don't have a single good memory from the past. My whole life was just me rotting in my dark room all day long due to being ugly.

 

[Saigon Depression]

Even the days go faster.

Especially, since I spend every day the same. Being dead inside.

 

[cryptic__egg]

Time is just a big heap for me. Everything feels meaningless.

 

[Deleted member 22549]

Yeah, i also feel stuck on the past, just like you do. Most of my head is stuck in 2015, since then my life hasn't changed much, and i feel that i'm stuck in a sisyphean loop, where no matter what i do or how hard i try, i don't even move from square one. Since 2015, every year is like an extension of 2015, like a sitcom or a vidya franchise that keeps going and doesn't end no matter what.

 

[Jerek]

I don’t know if this is normal or not, but at some point in my life I realized that every next year means nothing to me.
I remember the onset of 2017. That's all. According to my feelings, I still am and live in 2017. I did not even feel the onset of 2018, 2019 and 2020. I didn’t even feel that I lived in them, as if in those years I didn’t live at all.
Previously, each year felt like a separate full year, but starting from 2017, each subsequent year is absolutely nothing.
Also in 2016-2017, I noticed that the time I felt began to go in some strange way faster.
I am now 20 years old. In the summer of 2020 I will be 21 years old. And I still feel 18 years old when I turned so much in the summer of 2017.
I feel as if I have not existed for a long time, I'm like a spectator, like a ghost, not a player, not a user.

Even if you are just 20 (i'm 35, so i consider you really young) i fully get what you're saying.

I want also to add that the feeling you're describing started at my 20.

I've thought that it's basically because "a year" represents a fraction of our lifetime that, as we get older, will be more smaller than before.

At 20, 1 year = 1/20 of your life.

at 35, 1 year = 1/35 of your life.

and so on.

I guess if you're 80 a year means basically nothing, even if i suspect there is some kind of dimishing return on this effect.

 

[slavcel11]

To a 5 yo kid, a year is a 1/5 of his entire lifetime, whereas to a 20 yo man only a 1/20. Also the life of a 5 yo kid is full of new emotions and experiences, literally every single day of it.

 

[RopeMaXXer]

Timepill is pure distilled terror. It is not terrifying, but terror in it's substance.
Like rolling down the hill, one does not care at first, until you're struck with realization there's no breaks.