Finally got the balls to post about it on here, I've thought about it as a concept here and there but this the first time I genuinely wished I could do it and how much easier it would be. I imagined going down to the river and just falling to the bottom, and if the pills were right there in front of me I would've taken them, but I'm over it now. It was before my exam because as usual I had procrastinated all semester and was crashing out now, that plus all the general depression and hopelessness, I don't believe anyone kills themselves solely because of one thing, everyone here who has roped I believed as roped out of the situation + something else bad in their life, a goodlifer with money and a passion but just got born unfuckable will probably not rope because the human brain can compartmentalize the one situation but as soon as it's a bunch of problems or situations it all melts together into general bad emotions and you forget where these bad emotions come from in the first place and you just feel like shit.
(High iq serious part)
The other thing I wanted to talk about is how I got into this situation in the first place having not studied for my exam, I used to be super disciplined in parts of high school, was in contention for dux of school at one stage, this was also when I still had hope for getting foids and when I thought 'mewing' would fix my fucked up face jflll
, crazy how I could seem so smart but actually be so retarded at the same time. But anyways when I had this belief and drive at the back of my mind for pussy I had basically unlimited determination to work hard. But now that I see the truth, and there is no hope, I am nothing, it made me realize that we are unfortunately programmed for one purpose, which drives us to the max, and don't get me wrong I'd prefer not being delusional, but the fact that this hopelessness basically led to me nearly ending it says so much, without our purpose to reproduce, our inner animal minds consider ourselves as good as dead.
Sorry if this is hard to read I just types as rawly as possible because it is so hard for me to write being very touchy, would be nice to hear your thoughts brocels, and whether this is just me or not.
(High iq serious part)
The other thing I wanted to talk about is how I got into this situation in the first place having not studied for my exam, I used to be super disciplined in parts of high school, was in contention for dux of school at one stage, this was also when I still had hope for getting foids and when I thought 'mewing' would fix my fucked up face jflll
, crazy how I could seem so smart but actually be so retarded at the same time. But anyways when I had this belief and drive at the back of my mind for pussy I had basically unlimited determination to work hard. But now that I see the truth, and there is no hope, I am nothing, it made me realize that we are unfortunately programmed for one purpose, which drives us to the max, and don't get me wrong I'd prefer not being delusional, but the fact that this hopelessness basically led to me nearly ending it says so much, without our purpose to reproduce, our inner animal minds consider ourselves as good as dead.Sorry if this is hard to read I just types as rawly as possible because it is so hard for me to write being very touchy, would be nice to hear your thoughts brocels, and whether this is just me or not.
